Expectant Mother

[longtimemuchchange]

Long story short, failed relationship has led to me moving back home, on a temporary basis, in my mid 20s.

Everytime I order takeout - say, fortnightly, my Mum expects (but does not ask) me to order her something too. I do and pay for all the food shopping, and if there is minimal food in, she will eat toast for dinner rather than getting food in herself. (To be clear, she drives and is perfectly able) I make 95% of the meals too.

I feel frustrated that it is always expected of me to feed her, but I don’t know if it’s something petty to be frustrated over. Also, for completeness, we have very different food interests which means I would often have to compromise.

Genuinely not sure if I’m being unreasonable feeling this way!

Misleading title!

Are you paying rent?

I think if your ordering in takeaway it’s only fair to offer to order for her too

If you ordering a takeaway in her house when she is there then you should order her something too (or at least ask if she wants anything).

Haha sorry didn’t think about the title as so far away in life from having children.

Yes, aswell as a mortgage on my own property and all of the food shopping. (£100 per week)

I think it’s rude to sit in someone’s house ordering a takeaway and not include them.

Have you spoken to her about why she doesn't buy or prepare food?

I mean it’s not a house share. It’s my own parent. I certainly wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s rude, but noted that I shouldn’t get in a flap about it.

She says she doesn’t eat much, or wouldn’t eat if I wasn’t here. But she has never declined anything I’ve cooked, and I find it hard to believe a person could sustain themself on toast!

I assume you’re living there at a hugely discounted rate. I think you would be unreasonable not to order food for her too but maybe have a chat about sharing cooking duties. Does she do things for you?

I pay similarly than it would be in a lodger situation - because it is my choice and preference to be here.

I am entirely self sufficient, other than mutually sharing washing loads for ease