But if a back story, I have a history of being unlucky in love. I spent most of my 20s single after a long relationship with somebody who cheated on me throughout. After that I struggled to meet anyone who wanted more than just fun. My heart was broken many times.
I eventually fell pregnant with my dc after a relationship that lasted less than a year and dc's dad decided from the start he did not want to be involved. I accepted this and have brought my child up alone.
5 years ago when my DC was 1 I met someone and things have been great. Until I started to asked for more commitment (moving in together ect). After a few arguments that stemmed from this, he left me. We were together 5 years. This happened a month ago and to top it off I fell ill over Christmas with the flu and haven't been able to move. Today I felt better and took my dc to visit some of my childhood friends (their husbands were also there). One of the husbands made various comments about the breakup, one of which was that it must be me because I can't keep a man. And many jokes about who's going to be my child's step dad next. I just feel so hurt and also hurt for my child. This was never how I expected my life to be and I'm now in bed thinking it must be me. I don't know what I expect from this post, I just needed to write it all down I think. I'm also still not feeling 100% so maybe I'm taking things a little too much to heart.