Dumper blocked me it appears after 6.5 months on whatsapp

[wishingyouwell]

Had a difficult breakup with an ex 7 months ago. They broke up by text. I texted back wishing them well. Nothing more via text or no phone calls either way.
Not on any social media with them other than WhatsApp. Appears they blocked me on that a month ago. As I said haven't bothered them at all, no sad whatsapp profile pics / pictires of me etc. They on the other hand had a sad profile pic up about 5 weeks after breakup re: regrets and acting hastily effectively. As it wasn't a direct message and could have been about anyone or about anything I didn't reach out. I saw that as their job if they truly regretted.
You may think why do I care about the effective block if wasn't going to get in touch? I guess as the dumpee who never bothered the person I felt it was unnecessarily hurtful? Perhaps I am being unreasonable and have tried to move on but guess I just wonder why people do these things.
Fragile at moment and realise it may not be about me but just found it a bit shocking? How I know I have been blocked/removed is profile pic has gone/online status

I was going to say this. I blocked an ex on Whatsapp so I could stop torturing myself by checking if he was online, when was he Last Online, if he was online at the same time as the girl I suspected he fancied, and so on and so forth.

This 👆

@Coolhwip but do you mind asking if, like me, in that case you were the dumpee?

@HappiestSleeping that's where I'm headed I think, it feels like a waste of headspace/mind mess-up

Think of it another way; I'd always recommend that when splitting with someone you block them whether youre the splitter or the splitee, you're not seeing their updates, you're not seeing what they are doing, you're not reminded about them, you're more able to get on with your next stage, you're less likely to message them, you're more able to progress your next phase. I'd say block him now. AND DONT FOR GOD SAKE UNBLOCK HIM... block and delete him, remove him from your existence, there's nothing gained from looking backwards.

@toomuchfaff I think this is a much healthier mindset to move forward in, I haven't ever been a blocker of anyone really I just didn't interact with people online but I can see why this may be better for mental health generally

Ultimately, you don't know what's going through his head and it's not unreasonable for him to do whatever's best for his own mental health or current relationship or whatever. I appreciate that he was the one who ended it and that you have done absolutely nothing wrong, but there could be a million reasons that he just feels he needs a completely clean break and doesn't want to see you there in his contacts every time he logs in. Maybe he just doesn't want a reminder of a failed relationship. Maybe he feels guilty. Maybe he doesn't trust himself not to get drunk and sext you and therefore ultimately hurt you again.

If one of my friends had dumped a boyfriend and was, for whatever reason, a bit screwed up about and said 'I keep wanting to text him but I know it would be a really bad idea and we'd just hurt each other again' I would absolutely be telling them to delete/block the ex's number.

I don't think it's a deliberate snub to you, or about anything you've done. I totally see why you're hurt/aggrieved by it, but I think you need to remind yourself that sometimes, the old 'It's not you, it's me' cliche is actually 100% true.

I was the dumpee but he was desperate for contact and got very annoyed when I didn’t want to be friends.

He even sent flying monkeys to get information from me.

Always think positive; you're not blocking him for any negative connotations. You're blocking to move forward, you have no interest in the past, you've no interest if they want to randomly reach out to you, you've no interest if they want to look backwards, you've no interest if they want to vent or spew, you're just blocking the past to move forward. You're pre empting any negative outcome, prevention is better than cure. After all, you dont know that he is going to message, but youd rather not receive... it is much better for your MH to block for the right reasons, not for spite

Why do you care?

Really helpful perspective @ManateeFair thank you for that

I really wish I didn't believe me @Natty13 and I am aware I shouldn't and am looking for healthier ways to go forward hence the posting.

@Coolhwip It's all so bizarre and messed up isn't it!

Probably this. He sounds like a twat. Be thankful for the block and you can move on knowing he’s a twat.

He sounds like an absolute walking red flag my god, clearly he still thinks of you and has some weird feelings about it. Stinks of regret to me, had a couple of exes like this and so glad they're in the past, you can't teach someone emotional intelligence and you're forever at the mercy of their immature tantrums when people like this are in your life. Thanm God he blocked you good riddance! Hoping you meet someone much nicer Op x

Just delete or archive the chat with him. You don’t need it; it’s over and you’re not going to talk again. I wonder if you’ve been opening the chat over the last few months and re-reading/looking at his picture etc? It’s time to just move on and get rid of it.

@Itslegitimatesalvage Yes I deleted the chat after approx 2 months as I found having it there pretty awful and couldn't really bring myself to look at it anyway. I guess everyone deals with things in different ways perhaps others wouldn't be bothered having the chat history there.

Oh no, I wasn’t trying to be a dick! I said that because it’s what I would need to do. I’m going through a thing with a guy that’s just ended, he ended because he said he, “can’t be a partner to someone right now and you deserve a full partner.” So it ended, and I sent a couple pathetic messages over a couple weeks, which he was very kind about but I absolutely had to delete his number and our conversation. Now I get a message from him every few days saying how truly sorry he is, how he hopes I’m having good days or how he sincerely misses me etc. And I have to delete them as soon as they come in so that I cannot reply because he tells me the same thing, that we can’t be together and I can’t have it sitting there in my WhatsApp because it does bother me and I can’t ignore it.
I would open it and look etc. I wasn’t trying to be a dick, really! Just saying that it is so much easier to delete it if you’re trying to move on and forget.

@Itslegitimatesalvage No I agree you are right, I really appreciate your input thank you and deleting the chat did really help as having it there was painful to say the least. Next deletion needs to be his number!
I'm sorry you are going through that situation, sounds like he is attempting mind games, all sounds very cruel.
I hope things get better for you in 2024 @Itslegitimatesalvage and you recover well.