Ok - big backstory:
Started an MSc in September 2019 in a subject I was/am (albeit less so now) interested in. It was something that was mine and not the military's (that dominated our lives due to DH serving) or the kids. Obviously Covid changed the way we study so lectures went online which isn't the same but still carried on. The particular MSc I am studying can only be completed in a minimum of three years - it is part time and the five modules are usually studied over five years. I was aiming for four.
During this time:
We've moved house twice but we are now settled in our own home.
I'm now on my third job due to me only having fixed length contracts - I work in the charity sector so the contracts usually are short as all dependent on funding.
DS now 15 has been diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, he hates school and is supposed to be revising for GCSEs but doesn't know which exam he has next week or what to revise. He does have one to one support in school but still can't remember.... He plays sport at national level so requires a lot of taxiing.
DD now 14 is currently on the neurodevelopmental team wait list - should be seen by August 2025 but was put on the wait list August 2020. She is super anxious, barely went to school for a year but since September she's actually been in school however this takes so much out of her, she's worn out after 'peopling.' Most of the Christmas holiday has been spent in bed. Almost 100% ADHD but we need an actual diagnosis of course. Possibly autistic also. She self harms as a coping mechanism and tragically was raped last August. She had a friend who was "just like me Mum." He groomed her and raped her. I still cannot come to terms with this. She has coped bloody marvellously though fair play to her.
DH is now out of the military and works locally. This does make a difference with house workload as he does empty the dishwasher etc but most of the planning of who goes where at what time takes place in my head. The house jobs don't tend to be seen by anybody other than me. He does spend a lot of time with DS though as they play the same sport.
Just had a catastrophic argument with both DC as of course they are teenagers and are entirely selfish and only want to do things on their terms. So me asking them to actually put their own clean washing away was unequivocally unreasonable apparently. "Why can't it stay by the washing machine? Why does it have to go away now?" The underlying theme is that everything has to be a goddamn negotiation with them from walking the dogs, to unpacking the shopping, cleaning the loo after they've used it - anything that would allow me to crack on with the studying and not be literally a maid.
Am I being totally unreasonable to think that I could even complete an MSc whilst parenting and just quit now; or should I just man the chuff up and finish my thesis and just accept the labour will never be split equally because I chose to have a family?
Thanks for reading.