To have choice needs money and education?

[WhatdoIdoTree]

This based on a number of the posts that often come out each year at New Year about how to improve yourself, be it exercise, be it therapy, be it better food. Am I unreasonable in saying it needs education but it needs money too!

I’m from an immigrant background and yes my family did become successful eventually through a lot of hard graft, but they only really have some choice now later in life as they have the money to do it and some education of how the world works (eg my parents were barely literate and worked in factories when they first came here, they had to learn about living in England, they had no money, they lived paycheck to paycheck). My parents eventually set up their own business and that gave them some choice on things like a better area to live for some better schools for us, they had no time for hobbies (they wouldn’t even know what they are).

Whereas my in-laws and DH had drastically different lives, they had money, they had education so have numerous hobbies and holidays.

The posts that come out are very much about people having choice to make a difference to their lives but I know so many people don’t have a choice because they’re just trying to keep a roof over their heads!

I agree with you.

But how did your parents set up their own business out of curiosity? Did they save hard first?

You need time, first and foremost - exercise you can do free YouTube videos (obv requires having an internet connection and device) or go running.

Making food from scratch, not necessarily more expensive but time-consuming, and shopping around likewise.

But yeah obviously money gives you all sorts of options you don't have when you're working every hour God sends.

Yes, I totally agree with you and the pp who mentioned time too. There’s an irritating modern phrase ‘check your privilege’ and this sums it up pretty well for me.

Very true.

A lot of people like the idea of the things that money can buy, but I think the time, choices and freedom that money affords are far more important. Even things as simple as what to have for dinner or whether or not to have a holiday are choices choice that many people don’t have. It’s the freedom that is easy to take for granted.

Yanbu.

And health too obviously.

Money buys you time effectively.
If you are time poor and cash rich you can outsource a lot of the shit jobs that take your time up.
If you are cash poor but time rich you can save yourself a fortune by sewing and mending clothing, batch cooking, line drying washing, doing DIY etc.
The problem occurs when you are cash poor & time poor. Then you start chasing your tail trying to save money and time and not achieving either goal.
I think that the way society runs at the moment a lot of us (me definitely!) are time poor and cash poor so it is extremely difficult to get out of the rut.....the next person that tells me I can 'fit in' a ten minute exercise video off YouTube into my day might get punched!

Yes I think so many people are cash poor and time poor,

To the PP who asked about the business, it was basically a corner shop. They saved (we didn’t do holidays (not a concept) we didn’t do any activities as children. They saved and borrowed from family. Then they worked literally 5am to 10pm every day 7 days a week.

Definitely money and education along with time and health.
My struggle is mainly money (disability benefits) and health (have very little energy so cooking can be difficult). I have time, however can't always do what I want (I can't exercise ever and am limited to how long I could be in the kitchen for and therefore have to rely on my teenage dc).
If the NHS has been a little quicker off the mark (being polite here) 10 years ago I may not have had the longterm health conditions that meant I was retired on ill health grounds age 34. Prior to this I was in reasonable health/shape, was educated, not much money but you don't need much to exercise, I batch cooked most meals, from scratch because I knew this was best for me and my dc. I was reasonably poor on time (working single parent) but we put effort into being active, eating healthy, planning to make each day easier etc.

Eating healthy takes education. I come from a community where we cook from scratch a lot, and it’s mainly veggie too. So my Nan taught me to cook from the age of 11 (this is how I spent my summer holidays with my grandmother!).

"To the PP who asked about the business, it was basically a corner shop. They saved (we didn’t do holidays (not a concept) we didn’t do any activities as children. They saved and borrowed from family. Then they worked literally 5am to 10pm every day 7 days a week."

Am I really generalising if I say a born Brit would blame their lack of opportunities on the government and take no responsibility towards bettering their life situation?

As to your OP - a good education is the best gift i can give my child. It will allow them to have choice in life and hopefully money- as I agree, you need money to have even leisure time for self improvement etc

I’m always on the fence about this statement. I worked for years in the social housing sector and many of the poorest and least school-educated people we worked with were pretty clear that they found the assumption that they couldn’t cook or eat well because they weren’t educated enough pretty offensive - in most cases they were perfectly aware of what healthy and nutritious food was but that there were other barriers to healthy eating which didn’t include the somewhat patronising concept that they needed “teaching” about it because they hadn’t yet worked out that frozen nuggets and chips weren’t as healthy as a casserole of fresh ingredients.

@ComtesseDeSpair isnt that education then? As in what’s a healthy diet?

@chopc certainly my parents felt the same as you!

@WhatdoIdoTree sorry if I'm missing the point somewhat but reading this;

they worked literally 5am to 10pm every day 7 days a week

It strikes me that for the most part it would be one person in the shop, on rotation, and that occasionally there might be two people in the shop for example one on tills, one stacking shelves/ going to cash and carry, for about 3 hours a day. So, 5-10 is 17 hours plus 3, so 20 hours divided by two so ten hours per person. Let's also assume there is no commute to speak of, and that when the shop is not busy, the person on the tills could read a book etc, while I think that yes, it's not easy, time could be made for batch cooking healthy food and an occasional gym visit/ lunchtime run/ walk. It's not outside the realms of possibility.

@CovidOvid it’s vert physically demanding work, if you’re not overly literate everything takes longer. Loads of issues with suppliers, loads of maintenance of the shop. You’d literally live in the front or back of the shop. It definitely didn’t give a lot of time at all. There is always something going wrong, a paper boy doesn’t turn up, a supplier sends the wrong things, a fridge breaks down. They had very little time to pursue anything outside of the shop. It’s not easy work.

And @CovidOvid this isn’t scrutinising my parent’s lives but in general what people need, health, wealth and time! Or someone to make the time for you.

On a tangent, but I have seen it a lot over the last few weeks on here - "just learn to drive" also takes a hell of a lot of money and time! Seen people act as if you just tick a form on your lunch hour and it's done!

And that's not including the costs of having a car, or being insured on one at least.

I think there is also another axis of self motivation.

There is a scale and on a graph it would be a curve.

I have family that came from nothing but applied themselves and took risk. Others have been given a private education a mortgage free house and have nothing left.

“Wealth does not pass three generations” -- the first generation builds the wealth; the second generation is inspired to preserve it by witnessing the hard work of their parents; and the third generation, having never witnessed the work that went into the creation of this wealth, squanders it.

I'm always banging on to my kids that education gives them choices.
We don't have family wealth either. My parents gave us that message and that's what pulled us up. I expect my dcs to do the same.

Of course you need some money. You can't focus on improvement if you're struggling with day to day life. There is so much you can do without money as well. We're very fortunate to live in the uk where education and health care is free, we have libraries and parks, places to walk, run and cycle, free education sites and YouTube.
I've saved so much money by being able to learn how to do diy and minor repairs from YouTube, meal prep info and healthy diet knowledge is all at our fingertips for free.

If you want to do it, you can have a really good go at it.

@witmum that’s interesting