Strange incident in the woods

[Livelaughlovesigns]

It’s still playing on my mind and was just really odd.

Today, Dh and I took Dd, 5 and our dog in the woods/fields by our home. All was fine and we were heading back home, I was walking ahead keeping track of our dog and Dh was with Dd (she walks slowly, wants to stop to play/have adventures etc)
I saw a person walking behind Dh who was swaying from side to side and just seemed very odd, I felt a bit strange and started to call to Dd to run to me (as in a game-run as fast as you can/who’s the winner type thing) Dh had also noticed and started to walk more quickly, he then picked her up and started to hurry to me and we got to an open part where there were houses and cars. Dd was getting upset and shouting about why he picked her up etc and we were watching this person in the distance acting so strangely, staggering everywhere and then suddenly running.
A man came up talking on his phone (Russian I think and looking around everywhere) Dh asked him if he was looking for someone, the man didn’t speak English, so Dh started motioning towards the woods where the person had ran ( Dh says it was a woman)
Dh then went with the man to show him where she was and Dh said he saw this man find her
We explained to Dd, without trying to scare her.
As we were walking back we were discussing it and saying why did we try to run away, why didn’t we try to help them.
It was just a really really odd situation, we in these woods almost daily, nothing ever happens.

I keep wondering about this woman and what on earth had happened to her, Dh thinks she may have been drunk because of New year and wandered back and lost her way (the woods are next to the beach)

Would you have done the same thing? My initial feeling was fear and to get dd away

@IwouldntWorry What is the point in me lying

As usual, a huge, gross pile on by the worst of bored Mumsnet, who love to sit at home, hating men, guessing who are human traffickers through their net curtains and inventing narratives to entertain themselves on the internet. All so they can go to bed and rest easy knowing they’ve made a stranger feel like shit.

The cherry on top came with calling OP’s husband a ‘wuss’.

Leave this thread alone, OP. You did nothing wrong.

I assume that OP heard about what happened after the DH and the Russian man went into the woods from the DH's perspective because she wasn't there at that point, she was with DD and Ddog. So maybe she was on the phone when they found her and the DH assumed that the woman and the man (both on their phones) were on the phone to each other. But that's the bit I'm not sure I understand.

Lots of us on this thread are worried about the situation, but could it have been a woman getting lost after a New Year's party? Was there a party in the woods or beach?

I'm not really interested in adding to any pile on, but my blood has run cold reading this.

My ex-h was a violent and brutal abuser. Thankfully, I haven't clapped eyes on him for 19 years, but I've never forgotten the fear, and this thread has brought up some pretty disturbing feelings.

I could write a book, Op, but I'll just relay one incident in the hope that it might help you understand some of the responses.

One night (very late, as in 3am), after a particularly violent attack, I fled my house wearing my bloodied nightie and an anorak. I don't know where I was going, I just needed to get away in that moment. I maybe would have tried to get to a police station, or flag down a passer by, I don't know.
I was teetotal, but probably looked like a disorientated mess.

As "luck" would have it, I saw a private taxi approach. I didn't have any money, but I was scared, and was going to ask the driver to take me to safety.
When I flagged it down and he stopped, I opened the passenger door..... and my ex-husband was sitting there. He'd called a taxi to come and look for me and take me home.

I will never forget that terrifying journey for the rest of my life. I thought I was near escaping - but I knew, for my own safety that night, I had to act pleased and grateful that he'd come for me.

The taxi driver and ex-h talked about me all the way home, that I was "a bit mental", and wasn't ex-h such a decent guy for coming looking for me so late at night, and "rescuing me".

My fear is that this woman was the same. Maybe she had a whiff of escape. Freedom feels unbelievably intoxicating when you haven't experienced it for years.

So sorry but my mind I can’t now drop the image of a grown woman and man running down a path with a weird oh yes this way, good girl to the child in some sort of scene from Texas chain saw massacre, then on a complete script switch the Texas chainsaw character is the daughter in taken and you pointing the highest bidder in her direction

I'm so sorry this happened to you 😞

A person staggering behind you but not saying anything, not crying, or asking for help but then starts running when you run - male or female - I would have legged it too!

What a horrific story, @JockTamsonsBairns . I'm glad you're out the other side.

@JockTamsonsBairns that's horrendous. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

@JockTamsonsBairns so sorry that happened to you.

What a sad read and I’m so glad you managed to get away from him eventually. I cannot imagine what you must have been going through that night.

I agree with everything you and this is why everyone has reacted the way they have! Just because they may have seemed to genuinely know each other and all ‘appeared’ to be ok, doesn’t mean it really was.

The reason why the thread has turned into a pile on is simply because the op keeps changing her story and only seems to care that they got “their dd to safety” however op does not seem to be showing any genuine concern about the woman, her justification for this is they were “protecting their dd” and the story keeps changing. The op says she came on here for advice but every time someone shows any concern about the way it was handled she has just used her dd as an excuse!

@JockTamsonsBairns ❤

And I think that is why so many people are horrified by this thread. A man taking another man to a supposedly lost and drunk woman in the middle of nowhere and leaving them alone. Awful.

Knew this would be coming.

It's a pile on because OP is either a troll or has behaved uselessly in a possible emergency for another female and is randomly defending it.

How old was the woman? It does sound odd. What made you give her a wide berth? Did you think she was drunk, on drugs, mentally unstable or what? You say she was swaying and it was odd, but what does your instinct tell you?

I now realise that some people would not last 30 seconds in my job or even the real world. I'm not claiming to be some kind of hero or hard woman or anything but I work with people who are mentally unwell, drunk, on drugs, in crisis, threatening and aggressive on a daily basis. In homes an the community, often when it's dark. I'm a 5ft nothing woman. I realise many people live much more sheltered lives than this but I didn't realise grown adults walked around being so afraid during the day. Fair enough if I was alone and saw a man looking dodgy in a secluded area but I'd probably just carry on walking and pick up my pace. The event the op described would be a non event. Especially if I was with dh. I must live in a rough area but seeing someone drunk walking around is not totally crazy here. Not normal but nothing that would have me running for my life. I would most definitely be checking the person was ok if it was a lone women even if I was on my own. I'd not approach a man alone of course. I can't ever imagine my dh reacting like your dh did in this situation. Even if it was a man I doubt he would be trying to get away. We would just carry on our day or ask if they need help. How likely is it that it's a lunatic waiting in the woods to strike a random family down !

Op your reaction here is quite bizarre. I can't ever imagine being this afraid and then leading a random man to a lone woman. Have you never seen or read about such things. Did you not know how many women are assaulted by men and how women are victims of abuse etc especially by men they know eg domestic abuse. You were afraid of a lone woman but happy to lead a man to her? Were you not wondering how she might feel afraid of him? Would you want someone to lead a random man to you or dd if your were drunk or unwell?

Calling the police just to be on the safe side should have been the minimum, surely?

She could also have behaved perfectly for the situation if the lady was ill, drunk or suffering from dementia which is more likely than her being trafficked.

OP was there and said herself the lady seemed fine to go back with him. They will be much more able to read the situation that the keyboard warriors here reading it second hand when OP has clearly said she hasn't explained it well.

It is better that you kept your daughter safe OP. One of you could have attended to the lady and probably should have but you did what you thought best at the time. What more can you do? You can't refuse him access to her just in case she was trafficked.

Are you going to go back to the woods again OP?

I believe the bones of the story are true. But all the details the OP kept inventing to make her actions seem better (that they were talking on the phone. That it was his wife. That she felt AOK about the whole situation, that the woods were ‘in the middle of nowhere/isolated/remote but near to the road and the beach and bars and restaurants and the whole neighbourhood walks there’) just confused everyone and it decends into a farce cause no one is even sure what the story is anymore.

I’ve read all of your posts and I’m still quite confused. Can someone explain this to me as if I’m 15 years old pls?!

You've done your best, OP. Xx

No, it’s a pile on because Mumsnet is full of know-it-alls who love inventing drama with minuscule scraps of evidence on their high horses.

I would hope its not true because I could never in my life imagine seeing a woman stumbling around in an isolated area (which may or may not be on a beach/near pubs) looking like she's incredibly unwell, drugged or drunk and then point a random man in her direction without calling the police. Never in my life.

I am also a mum to a DD and I would hope that other women would look out for her the same, but clearly not.