RSVP deadline

[Whyisthissohard96]

AIBU to think that if you send out wedding invitations with a deadline to RSVP by that you should stick to it an not hassle people months before?

We are invited to a wedding abroad by friends next year, invitations went out in September with the deadline by the end of January to RSVP.

Considering it’s abroad and our very young DC is not invited it wasn’t something that we could just flippantly say yes to. We were intending on taking all November and December to think about it, it’s costingwell over a grand. however the bride has been hassling me since the start of of December to confirm if we will be going. We ended up booking something the other night just so we could give her an answer and I’m really starting to regret it and I wish I stood my ground.

So unbook it, tell her you’re sorry you’ve checked finances and can’t afford it and wish them well. It’s an invite, not a jury summons…..

This, I think if they are hassling you now there will be more issues down the line.

Why do you need two whole months to think about it?! But yeah no chasing until deadline has passed.

What does hassling you mean?

I don’t know why they gave a deadline of January only to follow up before then. But I don’t understand why you need two or three months to think about it either.

I Suppose we didn’t need two whole months to think about it, we just expected to have more time to make the decision.

As mentioned it’s costing a lot, taking up annual leave, childcare considerations (they’ve sent us a list of childcare out there which we aren’t mad about).

When speaking to my family/friends about it they think we are mad to go, but it really is such a close friend of DH so we have to go. We are having to go out for 5 days so will make a mini holiday of it, but it wouldn’t be our first choice of destination.

In terms of hassling there was an initial message which what I assumed was her putting feelers out and when she sent us the childcare, this was followed up by a much more pressured message last week saying we were the only ones not to let them know.

we would loose to much money now to cancel so will just have to suck it up

sorry to drip feed

I suspect bride and groom have had more polite declines than they were expecting. I have found that many people who plan a destination wedding over-estimate the willingness of others to spend their holiday funds on an event centred on someone else.

If she had wanted to know by now she should have set the rsvp date as end of Dec not end of Jan.

We get married in August, UK wedding, local for abiut 60% of guests but a week day so we have sent invites for the ceremony out in December with a deadline of end of April. I have no intention of chasing til mid May.

She is being massively unreasonable to hound you.