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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Breach of non molestation?

13 replies

NewYearSameOldStuff · 01/01/2024 18:57

I have a non mol order in place against my ex…yesterday I received this email from him

So after u wanting to see her for 1 day from Christmas until after New year she NEEDS to be back dead on a time !!! Mother of the year!!!!! Sorry I ment to say Happy new year x Can u please stop lying to our daughter as well or atleast give it a try !!!!

The order states that -

  1. The respondent must not intimidate, harass or pester the applicant, and must not instruct, encourage or in any way suggest that any other person should do so.
  1. The respondent, must not telephone, text, email or otherwise contact or attempt to contact the applicant, (including via social networking websites or other forms of electronic messaging) save for the purposes of discussing any contact arrangements.

Would you class the email as a breach of the non molestation order?

OP posts:
KTheGrey · 01/01/2024 19:10

Yes, I think it's a breach. It seems to be pestering from no.4 and the comments "mother of the year" and "can u please stop lying to our daughter or at least give it a try" are not discussion of contact arrangements as outlined in no.5. The first comment is a criticism of your parenting, and the second is an accusation that you lie to your daughter, so a criticism of both your honesty and your parenting.

Can you forward that to your solicitor? Even if you don't want to act on it, it's sensible to have recorded and reported everything as you go along.

millymollymoomoo · 01/01/2024 19:11

Is it correct?

SteadyEddi · 01/01/2024 19:14

that text doesn’t seem to be about arrangements at all, it’s more of a personal dig

Merryoldgoat · 01/01/2024 19:16

I don’t even fully understand it. Is he illiterate?

NewYearSameOldStuff · 01/01/2024 19:17

millymollymoomoo · 01/01/2024 19:11

Is it correct?

Whether or not it’s correct isn’t the question, but it isn’t by the way.
And I have absolutely no idea what he means when he says that I’m lying to our daughter.

OP posts:
NewYearSameOldStuff · 01/01/2024 19:19

Merryoldgoat · 01/01/2024 19:16

I don’t even fully understand it. Is he illiterate?

Yes it would appear so!

OP posts:
NewYearSameOldStuff · 01/01/2024 19:42

KTheGrey · 01/01/2024 19:10

Yes, I think it's a breach. It seems to be pestering from no.4 and the comments "mother of the year" and "can u please stop lying to our daughter or at least give it a try" are not discussion of contact arrangements as outlined in no.5. The first comment is a criticism of your parenting, and the second is an accusation that you lie to your daughter, so a criticism of both your honesty and your parenting.

Can you forward that to your solicitor? Even if you don't want to act on it, it's sensible to have recorded and reported everything as you go along.

I found it to be harassing and pestering and to be honest really upsetting.
I know it’s not a major breach of the agreement but wanted to stop it before it gets worse. The non mol order runs out in 6 months time and if I want to extend I need evidence.
I have sent a copy to the police as the non mol order comes with a power of arrest if it’s breached.
I was unsure if I was making a fuss about nothing, the only police have opened an investigation into it.

OP posts:
Scared2023 · 01/01/2024 22:43

It sounds like he is frustrated about something. Assuming you’ve only seen the daughter for one day or something and he has custody? Not that any of that matters. I think he could argue that it is about contact but there is also some intimidation and criticism there.

NewYearSameOldStuff · 01/01/2024 23:04

I have custody, I thought I was being fair by splitting time equally over Christmas. We will have both had 9 nights each over the Christmas break.

OP posts:
AutumnFroglets · 01/01/2024 23:08
  1. The respondent, must not telephone, text, email or otherwise contact or attempt to contact the applicant, (including via social networking websites or other forms of electronic messaging) save for the purposes of discussing any contact arrangements.

He failed on that part. Speak to your solicitor and/or police contact.

usernamenotrequiredagain · 01/01/2024 23:13

It's a breach.
Speak to your lawyer immediately.
Get it nipped in the bud

If it still continues think about using a coparenting type app like OFW

Ponoka7 · 01/01/2024 23:16

millymollymoomoo · 01/01/2024 19:11

Is it correct?

Could she be mother of the year and be lying to her DD?

OP yes it's a breach, report it.

beanontoast · 01/01/2024 23:18

Yes it’s a breach.

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