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Needy dad

2 replies

Akeevah · 01/01/2024 17:16

My dad had a stroke when I was 15, I’m now 30. As a result he needs a lot of assistance from his family. That’s fine, my siblings and I all pitch in. We’re Mediterranean so it would be culturally unacceptable to not care for him. Plus he’s been a good dad on the whole - made sacrifices to send us to private school despite not being well off (though ha s anger issues). He can go to the bathroom himself but can only walk short distances. He can make a sarnie/coffee but not dinner.

He just has got out of control with constantly requesting things/needing assistance. It’s also not the help he needs but the fact he will ask the second I get through the door. And just ask over and over. Mentally it’s too much. He will get angry/upset with the slightest push back. Is feel like this is his way to exert
control. He really doesn’t care to socialise and stays in his den all day.

We bought him a laptop for Xmas, I’ve just got back from the pub/dog walk (literally still outside and he told me he needed help - knew it would be for the laptop). Like give me a second to change out of my wellies.

I live at home.

Any advice? We do SO much for him but it’s just constant and he repeats himself to people. I have no problem in helping but it can feel like it’s all take take. Which makes me feel like his slave. We all have demanding careers.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

5 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
grimcas · 01/01/2024 17:53

Move out.

Newestname002 · 02/01/2024 14:57

grimcas · 01/01/2024 17:53

Move out.

Sadly I'm inclined to agree with this OP. Your father's health is unlikely to improve as he gets older and he'll just expect more and more if you all - especially if you live with him. Tough situation and I perfectly understand how this feels for you. 🌹

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