Aibu to not go back to my home

[Nomorethistime]

Due for a NYD thing at mine with extended family
my DM has mh issues and has been starting all day iv now had to leave my house with my child as I felt to afraid on my own and she wouldn’t stop shouting
before I’d just go back and suffer it and then try keep it calm whilst I take her home but I don’t want to anymore
am I bu to cancel it with them with less than an hour until they arrive? I just feel lik disappearing off the face of the earth I can’t take it anymore

Canceling with such short notice would be really bad. People will have arranged their day around going out, will already be getting ready to go out. So if you do cancel, it's at a big inconvenience to them.

Very calmly say that you do not permit shouting in your home. Anybody who shouts must leave, as your DC should be allowed to feel safe.

I would cancel.

Just get you mum to leave, and carry on without her. Or ask one if the guests to take her home.

What would happen if you asked her to leave?

She won’t leave I have asked her

@MereDintofPandiculation so what?

if the OP was my family or friend I'd see if I could help her with her Mum (sit with her, distract her, or take her home) if we weren't that close I'd be fine staying (or returning) home.

the OP's MH & wellbeing is much more important to me than a finger buffet out.

@Nomorethistime Do what you need to. If anyone has a key, ask them to go to yours & take her home. Cancel the others or let them come depending on whether you'll enjoy it or not. Get some help in place with your Mum. Look after yourself!!

Do you all live together? Whose home is it?

It’s my house
I just don’t know what to do I can’t go back it will all start again and then I’ll be left with her
it will kick off more if I tell anymore

Physically remove her from your home if you have to. Protect your child.

You mean she'll kick off more if you tell any family?

Will she be safe if returned home?

Does she have dementia or is she just a PITA?

Can you get your extended family to help? Can they drive her home?

She won’t allow that she will blame me make accusations iv had to put my child elsewhere she’s not leaving and I can’t cancel this close and I’ll just have to do it

It is your home op. She isn’t your boss. If you want her gone, she goes. Get everyone to support you. This isn’t right.

Why have you put up with this op? If someone’s abusing you in your own home and refuses to leave then call the police! Don’t flee with your child and be scared about going back.

It’s just not as easy as that she lies about me and will say all sorts of stuff
I just feel like I can’t go on iv hit a wall now I can’t do it anymore I haven’t even been able to message them
to cancel because I don’t know what to say

Does your mother live with you?

They will all be turning up soon and I don’t know what to do

No she doesn’t

I would call the police.

You need to call the police if you are concerned she will be violent to you or your DC. You have asked her to leave and she has refused - she is technically trespassing

Guessing people are due at 3.30? Don't go back until then. When they arrive you can go in with someone. Would your Mum dare kick off whilst others are there?
Anyone coming who you can trust with helping you?

It's a crappy situation for you I know. Only thing now is to decide if it is worse to get her out and face whatever happens, or leave her and she thinks she has won. Is she often like this?

I think I’d be telling them the truth.
Your mum is having an “episode”
She’s shouting
You’re not in any mood to put up with
You’re very sorry but you feel it would be best to cancel

I had to leave with nothing ready because she wouldn’t stop screaming and shouting so I took my child and left
my child is now with a friend

Well you have to go back home, so weigh up if it's better to go back and be on your own with her, or with others there.

Take it she's not going anywhere soon?

I would return to the house, firmly tell her she IS leaving and ask your guests to either take her home or to wait for you to return from taking her. If she refuses tell her you have no choice other than to call the police.
A horrible situation for you OP 🤗

When people smear us, it doesn't necessarily stick and most people can see the truth of us. Everybody will know that your mother is abusive, therefore you don't need to worry about what your nasty mother will say about you. You just need to ask for help to remove her and then go no contact. You need to have good mental health so that you can focus on being a great mum without her ruining your important motherhood years x