To be annoyed at being left on NYE?

[skittlescake]

So me and my partner have a 6 week old baby and has gone clubbing with his brother in two different cities.

Its not clubbing my partner's brother is a DJ and has gone to keep him company whilst the brother works.

Before my partner left he said he would be back at 1 latest now he is saying his brother didnt tell him it would be an all night thing as then he would know partner would not want to go.

Before I got pregnant my partner was out all weekend at these shows- that he dosent even get paid for.

It did calm down when I was pregnant but he flew out when I had a bleed at 14 weeks.

His brother is always trying to force him to go out since we have had the baby.

His brother is a terrible person, been to prison, does drugs and has multiple women pregnant and is always trying to drag us into his mess.

Am I being unreasonable to feel like this?

Stop making excuses for this crap man, and send him packing. If he wants to be with his brother so badly, he can live with him.

I wouldn't put his name on the BC either. He clearly isn't up to the task of being a dad.

@skittlescake your posts get worse.
Drugs are involved here. He's not going to just go and sit & drink coffee is he? They are driving significant distances - if he's driving it's cos the brother can't. Has he lost licence? Is he guilty of drug dr

Drug drug

Drug driving sorry. They are out at all
nighters partying

Are you the OP who posts about the brother often? I have vague recollections of a holiday booked last minute with the brother and similar. If so you had some very clear advice.

I wouldn’t recommend putting him on the birth certificate or giving baby his last name, sounds like it’s going to be you raising this child.

talk is cheap and sounds like your “partner” isn’t interested in being a proper family man.

This 💯

What attracted you to a 41 year old druggie clubber?

He’s allowed to tell his brother, No, I’m not coming tonight. I’m sure he is capable of doing that. Sorry but he is not being forced. I can’t believe he’s 41 and acting like that.

Don’t put him on the certificate. If he wants himself added he can do the work to sort it.

You can claim CM without it.

Just leave. Save yourself a lot of strife.

He won't change because he doesn't want to.

Go to your family. Claim via CMS.

Give the baby your surname. You'll be the one raising her.

Given his history I’m surprised that you’re surprised. Anyway guarantee no matter what you say here, you’ll be TTC Number 2 soon, so I don’t understand why I’m even bothering to contribute.

When I have discussed leaving a few weeks ago he said if I didnt put his name on the birth certificate he would not pay upkeep towards our son which worries me

Charming.
He's wrong, though.
He'll still have to pay maintenance even if he isn't on the BC.

He isn't 'being forced' to do anything by his brother though is he? He's 41..he's making these decisions all by himself (because he's a fucking manchild!)

Wise up OP, and pack his bags for him!

Stop blaming the brother.

He told you he’d stop as that’s what you wanted to hear. He maybe even believed it himself but he’s not going to stop whilst you keep putting up with it.

Get over to your family for support now and get your ducks in a row. Better to have a leaving strap and not need it than not have one and need it.

Do you own your house or rent? Do you have a joint account? Any pensions or life insurance?

I thought he would be early 20s!

I wouldn’t expect someone to be back by 1am on NYE and if this was a one off then I’d have let it slide.

But there’s obviously a lot of issues here.

As a PP said, you need to stop blaming the brother.
The brother is not to blame.
Your DP is a grown adult who is choosing to go out because he wants to because he finds it fun.

How old are you?
Gently, you are coming across as quite naive.

You keep blaming the brother, like DP has no no say.
You say he won’t pay but he won’t have a choice.

Please keep posting on here as I think you need support and not just his voice in your ear telling you lies.

@Ormside yes that is me, I posted when he flew out when I had a bleed when I was 14 weeks pregnant.

@369damnshesfine I am 29.

There are a lot of underlying issues here.
I am looking at places to rent near my parents.

Well done, and good luck @skittlescake

It's sad but honestly, things will improve when you leave. They're only going to get worse if you stay.

It’s not the brother it’s your partner. Would you be ok if his brother was a saint cleaning up the streets all night…. Of course not…. You need a partner that prioritizes you.

If he goes out occasionally is it really an issue? Djs usually don't start until.11 ish and finish 3/4/5 depending on the venue

He wants to go. He definitely isnt being forced. You need to decide if its an issue ... Does he pull his weight so you can have your fun and off time too?

You must have a low bar @Maddy70.
He is the father of a newborn. This behaviour is not acceptable.