To be grief stricken I am a single mum

[tomorrowsproblem]

My ex of 15 years left us earlier this year after meeting another woman. We have young children and I am struggling. I just feel so completely replaceable and inadequate.

I never expected to ever be a single parent and miss being a family. I really need some perspective. I don’t know how to do this. We live in a rather middle class area and all my friends are couples which makes it even harder. Feel alone a lot.

Don’t be grief stricken. Being a single parent was one of the best things ever to happen to me.

I understand your shock, anger and upset. But, trust me, parenting children is much easier on your own once you have made the adjustments you need. And not having to tolerate and pander to the whims of a giant baby is bliss.

Take it one step at a time. You will be fine.

Ugh. Yes that's exactly what fixes the OP 's issue..a man. Any man will do, better than being single! FFS! Can you not get that it's the perceived loss of family she's grieving, not just a shag and bed warmer? I'm sure she could go out and "pull" but that's not going to replace a family unit is it? Idiotic comment.

So many people in the same situation but worse still so many people in unhappy marriages - you're a step ahead! Believe that you're moving in the right direction, How young are your kids? Try to make sure they still see their dad to give you some time. Look after yourself.

Ah thanks so much to you all that have taken the time to comment - it’s been more help than you know.

Sorry the middle class comment was not meant as an offence. Apologise.

Yanbu to feel this way but it’s not the end of the world, you probably do the lions share of the child rearing anyway and one day you’ll find someone more deserving of you, if you want to!

People on MN really can't help themselves can they FFs. It was obvious to anyone with a brain what she meant- she means that in her area it's not common to be a single parent and she feels marginalised, stigmatised and lonelier as a result. In middle class areas there may be more judgment about being a single parent (wrongly of course) and all her friends are in couples which will make socialising more

*difficult

Join Frolo, the app for single parents, you’ll find loads of support!

When my XH left, my first thought was "I don't want my children to grow up in a single parent family!". They were just under 3yrs and 5 months. I had no income, a house in negative equity with no way to pay a mortgage. He just disengaged completely from family. Access was EOW but he often didn't turn up.

But you know, there was something special about having total control over their lives. We could decide to have a picnic in the living room, all their friends round for a sleep over, go away for Christmas. I built a network of supportive friends (despite being a very MC/nuclear family area!) and got a job that launched a great career. It wasn't always easy but looking back, my DCs had a great childhood and I'm so proud of the fantastic adults they have become. I was single by choice for a very long time, accidentally meeting now DH when DCs were mid teens.

Incidentally, the OW turned out to be a fabulous SM.

Single parenthood doesn't have to be the end of the world.

It's so hard at first. You do get to the stage where you realise you're actually happier single but it took me 3 years to get there. Just hang in there.
Can I recommend you book specific single parent holidays for the summer. You'll feel empowered after them. Check out campmates https://www.campmates.co.uk/
Or High Adventure holidays
https://www.highadventureholidays.co.uk/

These look good - have you actually done them?

Yes I've done Campmates twice and going again this summer and High Adventure last summer. HA lots more money obviously but extremely good value for money.

YANBU to be sad about it but YABU to be "grief stricken." 50% of marriages end in divorce, loads of kids are raised in this situation. Even middle and upper class ones. Princes William and Harry were!