Page 2 | Is this not rude?

StephanieLampshade · 2023-12-31T15:05:55+00:00

Ran a 10k race this morning. I've only been running about 15 months. I've done three races in December as well as training. Texted friend: Finished 3rd out of 8 in my age group Friend replied:Fab. You must be pleased especially as you hardly train . Just think how fast you could be ( if that is what you want ) if you were training assiduously. Probably exhaustion (I'm late 40s) but this made almost burst into tears. I have been training! I work full time and my friend doesn't. Am I being completely oversensitive here?

LaughingCat · 31/12/2023 15:40

That’s negging and it winds me up. It immediately makes you feel bad or unsure about yourself and you’re supposed to then think she’s somehow got all the answers/life figured out.

No-one needs a friend like this. You’ve achieved something great today! I achieved eating a whole bag of pickle flavoured Kettle Chips on my sofa in front of Season Three of 9-1-1. You, lady, are winning. We can always do better at anything but we also celebrate our achievements because we value them. It’s unhealthy to always be thinking ‘but I could have done better if I did X, Y & Z’.

Please, either call her out on this saying you’re proud of what you have achieved and you don’t appreciate having that minimised, maybe asking if she often feels like she doesn’t do well enough in her own pursuits, or slowly extricate yourself from this ‘friend’.

Holly60 · 31/12/2023 15:42

Serene135 · 31/12/2023 15:17

I’ve read the message a different way and don’t find it offensive at all. I’m sure she knows that you work full time so what she is saying is that you did really well considering you hardly train (because you work etc) and that you would be absolutely amazing if you had time to train more. To me the message is implying that you have a natural talent for running.

That's how I read it. That you are naturally talented at it and that you could be amazing if you really wanted to go for it.

Purplebunnie · 31/12/2023 15:43

Mantling · 31/12/2023 15:19

Yes. This too.

Show quote history

This is how I read it

fortnumsfinest · 31/12/2023 15:43

I read it that she was amazed, in a good way, that you did so well without the training so you could maybe have a natural gift for it and could achieve much more if you trained.
It sounds to me she doesn't know you train, not implying that you should train more.
If she's normally nice and supportive I'd let it go but only you know if she has form for being bitchy, if she does it may mean something completely different.
This thread shows how someone can write something and everyone has different opinions on what they think it means.

BetterWithPockets · 31/12/2023 15:47

Serene135 · 31/12/2023 15:17

I’ve read the message a different way and don’t find it offensive at all. I’m sure she knows that you work full time so what she is saying is that you did really well considering you hardly train (because you work etc) and that you would be absolutely amazing if you had time to train more. To me the message is implying that you have a natural talent for running.

I also read it like this, fwiw. Is your friend normally supportive of you, OP? If so, I’d give her the benefit of the doubt on this one. If she has a history of putting you down on the other hand, that puts a different slant on it…

rwalker · 31/12/2023 15:48

She’s under the impression you don’t train a lot

so she has said you’ve done well even though she thinks you haven’t trained a lot
Which is a compliment

training 7 days a week isn’t the best
you need rest days
get a training plan loads free online

hills
intervals
speed
endurance
heart rate
and rest days

Almondmum · 31/12/2023 15:55

You surely wouldn't allude to someone hardly training unless you were very very sure that's the case though right? Op says she does train.

If someone I knew went out and did that well in a race and they had been very clear they hadn't trained I might mention it but otherwise I would never because it feels such a clearly rude thing to say to me.

JennyGracexx · 31/12/2023 15:56

From my perspective, it sounds like she's trying to give you a compliment, like she's saying you're naturally fit and good at running 'without having to train much'. Might just be my weird way of thinking ha

threecupsofteaminimum · 31/12/2023 15:57

I'd have thought it was quite encouraging!

BubbleBubbleBubbleBubblePop · 31/12/2023 16:20

Serene135 · 31/12/2023 15:17

I’ve read the message a different way and don’t find it offensive at all. I’m sure she knows that you work full time so what she is saying is that you did really well considering you hardly train (because you work etc) and that you would be absolutely amazing if you had time to train more. To me the message is implying that you have a natural talent for running.

This is what I think too.