To not want people to sit on our garden wall and smoke/eat burgers/chat?

[beansprout]

Some days I don't mind so much but sometimes it really bugs me. Some bloke is sitting there having a fag atm. And yes, I know I need to get a railing or somesuch put up but we are skint atm!

Wouldn,t bother me as long as they didn't leave a mess and weren't too loud.

As long as they don't make a mess it's not too bad, but I don't like the smell of cigerette smoke so that would annoy me.

People sit on my front step sometimes, and leave their bear cans/wkd bottles there too, always late at night. I think they don't even realise it's someone's front door

Beansprout, is it your front garden? It would bug me if they where noisy or left a mess, otherwise probably not.

A while ago I sat on someones wall to make a roll up (I was very drunk) and it collapsed and I fell backwards into their garden.
I will not be doing that again.

put spikes on it
or smear with jam and peanut butter

Open your windows and play cliff richard's 'mistletoe & wine' at full volume.

Go out and join them, say "Oh, I'm so glad you've stopped by, I've had noone to talk to for AGES" and then rabbit on about your rash and how the creams not working and your mother's piles and irritable bowel syndrome and.....

Go out and ask them if they are interested in coming with you to your church, The Devout Worshipers of Haagenti, only it's your turn to get someone.

get a high power sprinkler system that goes off at intervals and aim it at the wall

chuck the dirty water from washing up bowl out the window(if you have a window over looking wall)just say oopsy

Why are they on your wall?

or paint the wall with that glue that says it sticks anything!har har!

I have actually had this, with teenagers. I went out one evening and made them all a cup of tea. Except for one cheeky urchin who asked for coffee. We chatted. They ate my digestives.

They NEVER, EVER came back.

Tell them to move.

Two teenager girls plonked themselves on the ground outside my old house one night. It was freezing November night too (what is it with teenagers and sitting on the ground?). They were giggling and chatting away. I told them to move as they were disturbing my dc.

pmsl

Get some of the thick bleach that you can buy and smear it along the top of the wall.

I've got my Grandads old catapault and a bagful of ball bearings if you're interested?

No you see you DON'T tell them to move. You do that and they'll torment you till they're in prison.

You offer to befriend them

This works two ways:

1. they get to dine out on the 'nutty hippy lady made us fuckin tea' and think you're barking and leave you WELL alone...

1. they do actually appreciate an adult talking to them instead of moving them on or using buzzers to make them nauseous all the time. so much that they leave you alone out of politeness AND tell all their ASBO mates to leave your house alone.

Or they just tell you to fuck off and put your windows.

Worth a try though.

LOL!
I do like hecates suggestions myself.

I have the same problem.
I usually go out and ask them to move 'because the dog can sense them on his territory and he's barking like crazy to get out here and the baby can't get to sleep, so sorry about that'
Prior to going out I will have placed a rasher of bacon on the front windowsill so that if they look back at the house they see a huge dog baring its teeth looking out of the window.
They are not to know he's the stupidest golden retriever in the world and only shows his teeth to chew bacon or smile.

I had a chat with the teenagers sitting on my front garden, and said"its great, you can keep an eye on my 4 yr old!!"they laughed nervously, and I havent seen them since!!

Make it look like a place you wouldn't want to park your backside: Spiky plants? Chewing gum mosaic? Something 'suspicious- looking' smeared on the wall? Snails? Take up preaching and hand out religious tracts?

arf @ mouselady bacon trick

well somebodys dog has just left a large mess out side my place , near my window and i cant concentrate on anything else knowing it is there!

My best friend opened her door on Saturday evening to find a man standing there weeing literally on her front door (and subsequrently on her) as she opened it!!

(grin) sorry thought that was sooooooooo funnyyyyyy fosl ( fell off sofa laughing)!!