To be annoyed at DH? Just let the flippin dogs out!

[TheGoodTypeOfLoser]

Sorry am feeling really stressed.

The dogs are so good at holding their pee if we have a lie in, which is very rare.

We're usually up at 7am to let them out but this morning we slept in. Well I slept in. DH would sleep in every day!

DH went down at 10am to answer the door to a parcel and I was in and out of sleep.

He then came up pottered about and went back down at 10.30.

I go down at 11.

I go into the living room and dog is excited to see me and then squats and pees in the middle of the room. Massive wee.

DH came down stairs twice. Made himself a cuppa, loaded the dishwasher and sat down with his drink.

It annoys me because the first thing I do when I go downstairs at 7am (he usually stays in bed later) is let them out.

If I would have gonna down for the parcel I would have taken them out straight away.

It pisses me off because every time he goes downstairs first, whatever the time, he doesn't let the dogs out and they end up having accidents.

He says he just didn't think to?! 🤔

The dogs are 6 and 5 so it's nothing new!!
How hard is it to just make sure the first thing you do is open the backdoor?

He says its because they don't move when he comes down, they stay asleep. And when they hear me they jump up.

But by that time they're desperate so he needs to just kick them off the couch?!

Did he want the dogs in the first place? I'm not sure he's a responsible dog owner.

I’d actually be so annoyed about this, that’s so selfish! Takes a few seconds to let them out, poor things.

Gosh, what a nightmare having to be tied to that (getting up to let the dogs out, not the DH).

It's selfish on every level but especially so to the dogs who will be desperate to go out. Next time he needs a wee tell him he has to hold onto it for four hours.

It's abusive tbh

Poor dogs ☹️ I would definitely think less of DH if he was so uncaring towards our pets.

Excellent! I once asked a colleague who was leaving her dog locked in the kitchen all while she was at full time work if she'd like to hang on from when she left her house until she got home. She gave me a very odd look but I think took the message.

This is horrible, absolutely horrible.

Poor dog must have been desperate to wee in the house like that. Yes of course it's the first thing you think of in the morning.

Then surely it's him that gets the mop out? That is if he equally agreed to their care. You've taken on the task, so it isn't on his to-do list, that needs to change.

We have a similar thing with our dog. I work pt and am up early when I'm on an early shift, otherwise I sleep in. My husband is retired, he often gets up at 8ish. But even if we're both having a lie in, if one of us gets up for a wee at 7ish we let the dog out for a wee. Maybe it's easier for us as we're in a ground floor garden flat so we don't even need to go downstairs.

I think you need to instigate a policy where he cleans up any accidents resulting from this. My dog has a bladder of steel and often doesn't go out for a wee until late morning. She never has accidents though. If I try suggesting she go out before she's ready I get a very condescending look from her. She likes to doze. I think she is very unusual though, and I am fully expecting this to change when she reaches her senior years. If you have a dog you have to take responsibility for stuff like this. It is inexcusable not to.

I've got really blunt with my working DD who moans about the dog, no matter were in the house she wees. She wants me to take over because I live local. I don't want a dog. Although I do walk her, take her to get her nails cut and sometimes go in so she has company.

I would be absolutely furious if I were you, and struggle to understand why you seemingly are not. This is animal abuse, pure and simple. This is physical and mental torture for those poor animals. Is your husband saying he's actually so stupid as to not realise they need to go out? You say this has happened multiple times, which is unbelievable to me. Your husband is either an animal abuser or a complete idiot who should never be left without supervision.

Awful leaving til 10am tbh let alone going downstairs at that time and not letting them out! Really cruel of him. You should set an alarm so you (he!) go downstairs and let them out then go back to bed and back to sleep!

He cleans it up and he loves the dogs. Absolutely dotes on them that's the annoying thing.

But because I'm the one that let's them out 99% of the time they don't move when he goes downstairs. They just stay asleep. So he says he doesn't think to take them out, he does have Asbergers so I don't know if that factors in? But because they're just lay there asleep he thinks they don't need to be let out?

But I tell him all the time, they're lazy dogs, you need to make them go outside!

Of course I'm annoyed, why do you think I'm posting about it, stating I'm annoyed? How obtuse.

I would leave big note on the door and another on the kettle saying "Let The Dogs Out To Wee" in Big letters, big enough so he can't miss it . Sometimes all it takes is a visual prompt to kick the brain into gear, especially when you're tired.

It's cruelty, unintentioned perhaps but cruelty nonetheless. Maybe that needs to be made clear to him.

Of all the things that come with pet ownership letting them out for the toilet isn't really a big deal 🙄

Are you the poster who has just asked MNHQ to ban you?

I agree.

I would be absolutely furious about this and it’s cruel.

Perhaps put a lock on the bathroom door and see how he likes it.

Dogs are the only animals to not pee when they want/need to. It’s potentially harmful to their kidneys if they are made to hold it too long. Your dh needs to be aware of the consequences here

He’s selfish, lazy and cruel. Poor dogs!

@TheGoodTypeOfLoser

of course Asperger's plays a part. But if a drip feed.

its not part if his routine. Nor will it be if you do it 99% of the time.

try telling him the reason they don't move is because he never opens the door & they don't want to have an accident!

but I think one off things like this are very difficult for many with SEN to remember/think about.

if it were me I'd plan any sleep ins & put a note in the kettle. Any random sleep ins I'd just get up & let them out once disturbed.

its the bit of looking after my friends dogs I hate the most. At the weekend they sleep in, he goes & makes them both a coffee, lets the dog out then the dog has the freedom of the whole house, he often goes upstairs & into bed with them & they all cuddle up for more sleep.

but I can't do that, once I'm awake I'm awake. & I don't want him in bed with me because he jumps & lying down I can't push him off me. So I'm up early with him.