I can’t cope with my baby :(

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I do love her but I really can’t cope with her at the moment. She’s just never happy. She won’t go on her playmat, bouncy chair or anything. You can’t even just sit and hold her as she arches her back and fights to be free and screams. I’m so fed up of standing up and walking round with her (sling doesn’t work either.) my arms are absolutely killing me. DH has to keep taking her off me as I just keep breaking down. But he’s back at work Tuesday and I don’t know how I’ll cope.

How old is she?

You sound tired😟

I am not sure how old your baby is; but do speak to your HV or GP. We all have had moments of desperation when coping with a first baby.

It will all improve, but I know it does not feel possible at the time.

I am tired! She’s actually five and a half months. She was really easy as a newborn and then went through a similar stage from about 6-12 weeks and it was awful. Then she settled and I really started enjoying her and now she’s hideous again (when I say hideous I mean for me.)

Her older brother is playing up as he basically gets ignored and that also makes me feel awful. But I’m fed up of them both.

She’s not even my first!

If she’s crying a lot and arching her back she may be painful due to gas or reflux. Have you seen your GP? She may also be picking up on your stress (this is a hard one to get away from). Definitely get some support, whether it’s GP, health visitors, or some local parent child groups. You don’t say how old she is-if she’s only a few weeks then things may get better very quickly, especially if a cause like reflux is identified. If EBF could try cutting out dairy from your diet a few days to see if it helps.

Oh bless you. Do you think she might be in pain? Maybe trapped wind if she's arching her back?
Big hugs, motherhood is bloody hard!

I do think she is probably in discomfort or pain but I’m lost as to what’s causing it. I’ve been endlessly rubbing her back for what feels like hours.

5 months is in my opinion, the HARDEST time for babies, and I say that as a mother of a toddler who suffered with horrendous colic, but the 5 month stage was worse.

They're big enough to WANT to do things for themselves, play etc, but their muscles and coordination aren't developed enough to do it and they're bored of all the toys they have had since being a new born. My little one was miserable all the time at that age purely due to frustration. Once my little one could sit either unaided or propped on my lap it got a little easier. Sending hugs OP, this bit is hard.

DH and I had the exact same discussion yesterday. DD is also 5.5 months and seems to be in a near constant state of frustration as she's aware that there are more interesting things out there (normally involving crawling somewhere!) but she isn't sufficiently developed to do them. As a result she's fussier/clingier than usual but at the same time less easily soothed, which is hard.

So we are right there with you, OP, and send hugs and massive patience, but I hold onto the fact that things seem to be constantly changing when they're this small, so I can't imagine this particular tricky phase will last long. For instance, if you're starting solids next month, I'm expecting that will bring in more changes or at least distract a bit!

She's likely got silent reflux. The back arching and desperate need to be upright are symptoms. Go to the doctors and ask for medication for her. Keep her upright as much as possible, especially after feeding.

Probs teething if she's 5.5 months. Try some baby nurofen and see

No advice except to say it will get better (eventually).

Hang in there x