To ask what sort of lifestyle you think I should have?

[Fleeceybeaa]

I know this is random but a conversation with a friend got me thinking. What sort of lifestyle would be imagine we would have with the following?

Household income: 71k gross (two FT wages). No children, no pets, both early to mid-30s.

You work in Norwich but love the sea so have recently bought this property it's ok how it is but you are looking forward to giving it your own flare and the 40 minute commute is fine and mostly through countryside in an electric SUV (you need a bigger car to carry the paddle boards) although you do stereotypically get stuck behind a tractor.

You go skiing in the winter and don't bother with a hot beach holiday as you live 5 minute walk from Gorlestons beautiful sandy beach which you walk along regularly getting chips to eat on the prom before heading back home. You eat out a couple of times a month and in the summer friends and family visit as you are situated in between the traditional seaside town Great Yarmouth and also naice SouthWold

Because, like other people have pointed out, it's 2x the average wage, so how can it be anything more than average iyswim? However, I will say it's not an even split, my husband earns about 18k more than me.

I don't live by the beach unfortunately but you've cracked the 40 min mostly rural commute (for both of us in different directions!) @Singleandproud

I'd say on that joint income, you would own a fairly nice 3 bed, run 2 cars, one big holiday a year and a few smaller breaks away through the year. Savings to support you for essential maintenance stuff as well as a bit to dip into for fun experiences.

I'd expect you not to have to budget food shopping and just buy what you want, as well as to be able to say yes to last minute invitations to socialise.

So, comfortable and with some freedom to make choices about the lifestyle you choose to have.

@Torganer I enjoyed it too...maybe "guess my lifestyle" can be the new "AMA"

Living in East Anglia though £70k could give you a very affluent lifestyle in Great Yarmouth or not even be able to buy a one bed in SouthWold or Cley or other second home territory

The average household income in 2022 according to ONS was £38,100.

So to have two average wages coming in puts you quite above the national average.

You are drawing a false straight line between average salary and average household income.

Obviously not every single household has two full time working adults in there?

Part time.
PhD students.
Apprentices/trainees.
Retired.
Disability benefits.
SAHP.

Plus all the households that earn less than you do - meaning as a household you have a higher income than many.

Good point, I was being stupid. Thanks @Blancher for the average household income info.

What this illustrates is that a LOT of people/households in the UK are really struggling on inadequate incomes. The government have tried to minimise the discussion about it, but if an income of above the half way point doesn't feel like enough - and it really doesn't for many households - that means huge numbers of people in the lower half are going to be in serious poverty.

A pensioner on £20k with no housing costs and decent health/support could be doing fine, so income is only one factor, but a family on £38k with high housing costs/transport/childcare could be absolutely fucked.

It is grim for a lot of people.

Our household income is £10k more than yours and we live in London. Like you no dependent kids Mr Monkey has a grown up son (early 20s) from a previous relationship so no more maintainence payments but he does provide "bank of dad" support when required) or pets. We have a small mortgage (for London) and do not run a car.

We aren't extravagent but can afford to save a good amount each month (over £1k per month), go on holiday a few times year, socialise a lot, don't worry too much about the costs of food shopping or energy and can (within reason) buy consumer goods etc.. that we want without giving it too much thought.

What gives us a good disposable income is a. No car b. small mortgage and c. No childcare costs.

Some parts of East Anglia are insanely expensive (Blakeney) and some parts are much cheaper (Great Yarmouth) so it depends where you live. Also depends on whether the bank of mum or dad was involved at any points...

Assuming there was no financial assistance:

If you live on the Great Yarmouth side; decent three bed detached, two cars, reasonable savings. Go out when you want but cautious.

If you live near Blakeney (for example); probably a one/two bed semi or terrace, one older car, not much in the way of savings. Probably spend a lot going on though as there are good cafes/restaurants nearby.

But either way, I'd say a good lifestyle given large parts of East Anglia are beautiful and the beach is nearby (makes it a better life IMO than living in London and earning 10x as much- but I understand that's all personal preference)

I reckon you've got a pretty big mortgage on a decent sized house. Also you have car finance x2 and still paying back student loans. I think you struggle to afford nice holidays.

I live a lot closer to London than Blakeney (which is a weekend break distance).

Mortgage? A mortgage with 10 years paid on a £50k property will be substantially less than a new mortgage on £500k Place.
Same for all other costs, a small £30 shop each week at Aldi or a £150 weekly shop makes huge differences.
How long is a piece of string? You should be living comfortably.

We live oop north on circa 100k gross WITH pets and kid and think we live really well. Both got decent cars, own a detached 3bed with big garden, eat out a bit, get away occasionally, DD has a pony. Not really lacking anything?

Our household income is slightly less but you probably have a spare £1500ish knocking about every month and you don’t even know it. I say this as someone who never felt like we had a lot of money but now have two kids in childcare and things are really tight and apparently it gets paid.

It will depend on your mortgage and whether you plan to have dc. I'd expect you to be living a comfortable life. If you have less holidays and luxuries it will be in favour of savings or property.

I completely agree.

I think there are a lot of expenses that people view as 'necessary' that people on lower incomes could only dream of having. So it's easy for people to overstretch financially and convince themselves it's something they need. As such they then don't have the disposable income they feel they deserve for working full time.

I was definitely guilt of this before my children's dad left! I'm glad we hadn't moved from our 'starter' home before he did, as I can afford the small(ish) mortgage on a single income. But there will be no holidays or cars on finance etc. I'm very conscious now of how much money I have wasted in the past!

We are similar. Two adults a bit older than you, live in East Anglia, make about 80k between us with no kids.
We have a smallish mortgage on a four bed, three bathroom, semi.
We have one car on finance, small payments each month but no other debts. Both pay into pensions and saving each month and still have a decent amount of disposable after this.
We shop at sainsburys for the main groceries, don't really have to worry about budgeting for it. We'll often have lunches out and get Gousto boxes once a month.
We get a take away once a week, each go out to the pub with friends once a week and go out to the cinema together once a week.
We both have gym memberships and I'm a member of a sports club too.
We often go to the theatre, live music gigs at least once a month and maybe meals out every few weeks.
We usually go on two holidays abroad each year and try to get a few UK weekend breaks in too. I go on a couple of spa weekends with friends in the summer.
I'd say our lifestyle is similar to some of our friend group.

Did the conversation with your friend make you think something should be different?

A bloody fancy one!

We live in a small house, 2 bed. Most of our friends traded up but as there are only two of us we decided not to. Of course got hit by recent interest rate rises, but our mortgage is £800. We do however overpay which I appreciate is a luxury.

Run two cars (neither on finance), not fancy. We do like outdoor activities but no paddleboards (yet!) We just about have room for 2 bikes.

We do have nice holidays (but not long haul ones but I suppose we could have one instead of a more cheaper ones) and can save each month. We do budget for everything and shop at Aldi. We don't eat out hardly ever, and generally don't do expensive days/nights out.

We pay into pensions.

The conversation with my friend got me thinking as most of them have a similar type of lifestyle, but with bigger houses and children so childcare costs/pt wages to factor in. They could earn vastly more though!

I think it’s very common to grossly underestimate what people earn as so many jobs are misunderstood - or rather the range within a particular field is much broader than people realise. The perfect example of this is finance/accountancy. A client I worked with is Head of Finance for a large consumer business, but because her job is 80% WFH, she’s proudly Northern / rough around the edges, and has young children, she told me that people just think it’s a ‘small job in accounts’ that she can do around childcare. She earns in the region of £250k pa.

I just popped back to see if you revealed your lifestyle and you have. You sound comfortable.

Comparing yourself to others is tricky. All of my friends with similar careers to me live much more extravagant lifestyles. I am quite certain about some of their incomes but can only guess at others.

Some come from quite wealthy families so are possibly supplemented or at least feel comfortable that they'll get help if they need it. Others must be in huge amounts of debt.

We have quite minimal wants and I think people would underestimate our income if they look at our cars, modest house and holiday choices. We should be able to retire at 55 if we choose.

I feel very fortunate to have not developed a consumer mindset. No idea how, all my family are flash and in debt. Spending less than you earn gives you many more choices down the road.