To be thinking about leaving

[Thefearagain]

Together for nearly 14 years. One DS (3 yo). We rub along nicely, agree on lots of things, make each other laugh but I've never felt we are anywhere near perfect for each other.

Because of his work, I've had a rare 3 days of solo parenting and it was so much nicer than I thought it was going to be. Today DP was off work and it was challenging. DS was a bit trickier and by the end of the day DP got cross, impatient and ended up being a bit rough with him. He wasn't violent but I had to step in and intervene as I seriously worried it could go that way.

All was ok, DS had plenty of cuddles, reassurance and an apology before bed but DP has completely gone in on himself tonight and I didn't have it in me to comfort him because I'm upset with his behaviour. I've gone up to bed and he is on his 3rd glass of whisky scrolling YouTube videos.

It's times like these when I think I've not settled for the good guy, and in fact I'd be better off single. Usually i'd confide in my mum about these things but I'm ashamed to admit how DP has behaved tonight.

I'm so scared and don't think I could face the financial implications of leaving but is it ok to go on like this, accepting these occasional horrible situations?

No, it’s not ok for your DS growing up where a situation with his father is bad enough to need an apology.
If I were you I’d be looking at my finances and making a plan.

Hm, are we talking violence or just getting a bit impatient?
Generally it’s best for kids to grow up with two parents and see that you can make relationships work but obviously that’s not the case if there’s domestic violence at play.

Not abusive though he often gets angry to a point I just can't understand. He picked him up roughly which I wasn't really happy about. Things like this tend to happy after prolonged time together. He always seems to be rushing when there's often no reason to, which adds to his panic and then frustration. My biggest worry is that DS observes this as normal behaviour - I'm glad on this occasion that DP apologised to both of us as he acknowledges this anger isn't justified.

Happen*