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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to apply for PIP?

55 replies

SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:07

I am currently waiting to be assessed for ADHD, and have a diagnosis of PTSD due to domestic abuse and sexual abuse, which I am medicated for. My GP has suggested I apply for PIP, but I don't know if I can put myself through the stress of it if I'm more likely than not to be rejected.

I am a lone parent and feel like my mental health is spiralling. I'm a good mum bit struggle to cook good meals and only eat one meal a day, when I force myself to cook for my child. I feel embarrassed even writing this and scared my parenting will be judged, but I really am a good mum.

I don't socialise in crowds anymore as I find it too stressful, and get flashbacks when I see someone in the same uniform as my ex (panic attacks). I take propranolol for this.

I feel like I'm in hiding and procrastinating my life away. Everything is a rush. Nothing is planned properly.

I forgot how to get to my mums house the other day which I've driven to dozens and dozens of times and had to pull over and put my sat nav on.

I forgot my pin number.

My house is a mess.

I ended up on an improvement plan at one of my previous workplaces even though I'm intelligent and have a university degree because I just wasn't functioning properly.

I feel like some help would be amazing but really don't feel like I deserve it or am eligible as I do cope. Just about.

My dad tells me I'm not coping I'm just existing and should take all the help I can get. He says this kindly and is a huge support to me.

I know nothing of PIP. Can anyone advise?

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 30/12/2023 21:11

Can you ask your GP to give you a referral for therapy instead? ADHD doesn’t stop you from daily tasks and working, but I appreciate PTSD would be debilitating.

Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:13

Dotcheck · 30/12/2023 21:11

Can you ask your GP to give you a referral for therapy instead? ADHD doesn’t stop you from daily tasks and working, but I appreciate PTSD would be debilitating.

Some days I'm OK. Some days I struggle to go out of the house, won't eat, and feel like I'm dying which causes me panic attacks. They don't happen often when I have my son, it's when I'm on my own in silence. I just don't know how to cope anymore. I've had therapy. CBT. Etc. It hasn't helped. I feel like I've just been abandoned.

OP posts:
miniaturepixieonacid · 30/12/2023 21:14

I don't know much about it but see no harm in applying. If you don't 'deserve' it/aren't eligible then you won't be awarded it. But you lose nothing by trying.

miniaturepixieonacid · 30/12/2023 21:16

But yes, I agree with PP that it sounds like mental health treatment is what you really need.

StrictlyComeSnoozing · 30/12/2023 21:16

But ADHD CAN stop people being able to complete everyday tasks. People are impacted by it differently. It doesn't affect my ability to get things like that done but helpfully, my ASD brain loves lists and plans. My friend, however, struggles with everyday tasks and is overwhelmed by them.

You should prepare yourself for being rejected and having to appeal as it seems to be the most common output. Presumably there's a number of people who won't appeal.

brainworms · 30/12/2023 21:19

Dotcheck · 30/12/2023 21:11

Can you ask your GP to give you a referral for therapy instead? ADHD doesn’t stop you from daily tasks and working, but I appreciate PTSD would be debilitating.

ADHD very much DOES cause issues with daily tasks and working. SERIOUSLY huge issues.

Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:19

compactopera · 30/12/2023 21:14

How much evidence will you be able to provide?

Do you have anyone experienced with PIP to support you with the process and assessment? It's a stressful process.

You would have to prove that you can't reliably, safely, repeatedly carry out the daily living or mobility tasks.

Some resources:

https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/personal-independence-payment-pip

https://forum.scope.org.uk/categories/talk-about-pip-dla

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/pip/

Hardly anything. I take propranolol for panic attacks. I've had CBT for PTSD and counselling through a specific sexual abuse charity. But the propranolol is on a very old prescription as I don't take it often. And the counselling was years ago. I've just been carrying on without support as nothing worked. I'm also worried that because I'm a lone parent it would result in my parenting being assessed, even though my son is completely safe and happy. I've avoided seeking medical support because my ex kept using my mental health against me in family courts. I feel traumatised by the family court process and have been in court for years. He has recently started having contact again in the last few weeks after 4 years of being deemed unsafe which has caused my PTSD to be a million times worse. I just don't know what to do anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:21

brainworms · 30/12/2023 21:19

ADHD very much DOES cause issues with daily tasks and working. SERIOUSLY huge issues.

Show quote history

Yes I have days where I will stare at a blank wall instead of doing very basic tasks. If something is urgent or neccesary like getting my son to school and dressed and anything related to him I'm OK, but it's myself that I neglect through a debilitating mental block.

OP posts:
antwacky · 30/12/2023 21:22

I would apply I were you especially as your GP has suggested it, a supportive report from a GP can be a great help, he may even know of a local organisation who can help you with the forms. As pp have suggested the Benefits and Work website is a great resource too.
Good luck!

compactopera · 30/12/2023 21:22

Whether someone can work or not isn't relevant, PIP is for increased living costs due to disability. It's about the impact of a condition on the individual person - assessed against the various descriptors.

I'm not sure you'd get enough points for the mobility component as you would essentially have to be unable to undertake any journeys to be awarded points for mental health conditions. It doesn't sound like that's the case.

It's possible you might get enough points for the daily living component.

You would need to provide detailed information yourself on the form and then verbally during the assessment. This would need to be backed up by evidence of the impact of your conditions.

It would be best to get specialist support with the application.

Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:23

miniaturepixieonacid · 30/12/2023 21:16

But yes, I agree with PP that it sounds like mental health treatment is what you really need.

If I could find something that might work then that would be great. I've had CBT, where I was still scoring highly for ptsd symptoms at the end of it but used all the free sessions. I've had counselling through a sexual abuse charity. I've taken a number of different medications in the past which I just forgot to take or couldn't deal with the insomnia it gave me. I will have a look at some other counselling if available.

OP posts:
Lovelylydia · 30/12/2023 21:23

Hello there, sorry you are struggling. You do not have to have a definite diagnosis to apply for PIP. It is a long and daunting application but please do not be put off. It costs nothing to apply and the fact that your doctor has suggested it stands you in good stead for supporting evidence from them. Record your worst days and include EVERYTHING, no matter how minor you think it is. If it does get rejected you can appeal.
I’ve completed successful forms for my son and it’s not the easiest thing to do,but please don’t feel like you don’t deserve help. What do you have to lose?
Good luck x

compactopera · 30/12/2023 21:24

When your GP suggested it, did they say whether they would write a letter/report in support of your application?

Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:24

compactopera · 30/12/2023 21:24

When your GP suggested it, did they say whether they would write a letter/report in support of your application?

They did not. It was quite a long time ago but I didn't do anything about it.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 30/12/2023 21:25

I’d get some help in filling out the form. Have a look at the questions and see if you struggle in those areas listed. Cooking, showering, toilet, walking etc. If you’re going to apply I’d get some professional help, CAB or there’s a group called fight back. PIP is not a compensation for being unwell benefit like some, but is more for getting financial help for tasks you can’t do, eg cleaner etc (though you don’t have to spend it on that)

blondieminx · 30/12/2023 21:26

You should definitely apply for PIP so you get a bit of extra help with costs. Also recommend looking at the access to work stuff as that I gather gives you budget for things at work.

because the govt are tossers, be prepared to appeal if they turn you down first time, and it could take a while to get a decision.

keep plugging away at it!

compactopera · 30/12/2023 21:28

Ah okay. I would check with them.

Have a read of the guidance on the descriptors and how points are awarded. If you think you're likely to meet the thresholds then it would be worth starting the process.

He wouldn't be able to speak for you, but your dad could accompany you to assessment for support.

Bichonmum · 30/12/2023 21:32

Applying for PIP can be daunting.

Speak with CAB, they can help with filling out the forms.

Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:37

Bichonmum · 30/12/2023 21:32

Applying for PIP can be daunting.

Speak with CAB, they can help with filling out the forms.

I'm going to give them a call in the new year. I might go back to my GP for support first but feel this will just look like I'm trying to make it look like I have evidence for the application, despite already having a history of the stated issues.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/12/2023 21:37

It’s unlikely that your GP will know what the test for PIP is. Citizens Advice will know the test and can give advice.

Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:38

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/12/2023 21:37

It’s unlikely that your GP will know what the test for PIP is. Citizens Advice will know the test and can give advice.

Thank you. I will call them.

OP posts:
compactopera · 30/12/2023 21:41

SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:37

I'm going to give them a call in the new year. I might go back to my GP for support first but feel this will just look like I'm trying to make it look like I have evidence for the application, despite already having a history of the stated issues.

Show quote history

I don't think it would look like that in the circumstances. I think that's your PTSD hypervigilance talking.

Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:42

Some days, when I'm out in a large crowd, I feel like everyone is staring at me to the point that I have to find somewhere to go and close my eyes. This stems from my ex telling me all the time that everyone is looking at me because of what I was wearing or because my hair was messy (it wasnt) etc. It can get to the point where I'm completely dissociating. It's always when I'm on my own alone with my thoughts. If I'm with a friend or my son or family it never happens. Just a huge fear of being alone. I definitely need some help. I just don't feel anyone can help me.

OP posts:
Original poster
SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 21:44

I work full time from home and struggle to get my work done. I end up logging on after 6pm when nobody can see I'm online and it takes me until 2 am to finish everything. I'm completely dysfunctional and just pretending my way through life.

OP posts: