Is this something worth worrying about?

[Poppy556]

I feel like my boyfriend is going off me. I worry a lot but I’m sure this is something worth worrying about.

Yesterday we were playing pool in a pub. Out 3rd date involved a few games of pool, and he sometimes touched my hips when walking past. Later on in the relationship he playfully admitted that he loved playing pool as an excuse to rub my back and be affectionate.

Nothing at all yesterday. I calmly asked him why it’s changed. He said he doesn’t see it like that anymore; he sees it as a fun game and a bit of competitiveness. He doesn’t think of the flirtatious side anymore.
This upset me. It felt like he sees me more as a friend now. I said this to him. He said not at all, but I said I find what he said makes that hard to believe. He kicked off saying he’s disappointed that I don’t believe him, and to just let things be.

But I have reason to worry right?

How long have you been in a relationship?

A year and a half

It's normal in long-term relationships. Doesn't mean anything. Your values shift naturally and you see a person as a partner and a friend and also sexually but it is not the same as a near-stranger in the first stages of a relationship. It's a good thing, you see the whole person, not just the genitalia. I would advise initiating the touch more yourself. It works wonders.

Thank you x

It doesn't sound like anything major. Unless there are other things which concern you this is nothing to worry about.

I just feel sad that he doesn’t feel like flirting with me anymore. And it used to be different. Surely just seeing it as competition is like playing with a friend

The longest relationships are built on friendships. You change as you grow. It wouldn't be normal to still flirt with you after 18 months like you were on a 3rd date, that would be weird.

Have you ever consider why you worry so much about trivial things? Because that's not very healthy really and your anxiety's could be difficult for you if you can't control it.

I guess I am a big worrier, I just saw it as no longer wanting to flirt and only treating me like everyone else!

Thanks all for your posts. I will try and work on not overthinking these things