First Date: Would there be a second date?

[Arableland]

AIBU to assume that if a first date didn't request my mobile number during the first date or before saying our goodbyes, there'd be no second date?

Haha in the infancy of the internet a guy I met asked for my number and I told him to Google me.

He did.

We've been married about a decade now lol.

Stop playing games. People are not mind-readers and you can't assume any one action (or inaction) means a specific result. I wouldn't think to ask for someone's phone number if I had another way to contact them and it doesn't mean I don't want to see them again.

I don't even have my partner of 15 years phone number - we've been using an app to talk since before we started dating. When that app shut down we just switched to a new one and have used that ever since.

There is nothing wrong with direct communication. Asking "would you like to meet up again?" is fine. There could be any number of reasons why things ended suddenly - maybe he farted and followed through and wanted to get away to clean up!

Thank you all for the advice.
I'll go on one more date and try to listen more than talking and will ask questions. I struggle to know when to call it a day and this makes me second-guess myself.
Any ideas on how to make sure I end the date in good time. How long should a typical coffee date last?
Thank you.

You don’t have your partner of 15 years phone number?

Now that is weird.

What would you do if you needed to give someone his details?

Why don’t you just ask him why he left so quickly? He’ll either have a good reason or not

I've never needed to? Why would I?

Why are you going around handing out your partners phone number to random people?

This is a little odd.

Perhaps partner is the wrong word?

Oh op im worried for you. You are ignoring your instincts here.

This man made you feel sad and uncomfortable..why on earth would you override that intuition and go on another date???

You are already thinking it is your 'fault' thst you were left feeling h comfortable and have decided to be more quiet and ladylike next time and not make mistakes.

Please do not go down this path!! He left the date rudely and your instinct was thst he did not respect you.

Listen to your inner wisdom lady.

I love how you think my relationship isn't real because we use discord to talk when one of us is out of the house instead of texting. I live with him, we've been together for 15 years. What word would you use?

I just don't understand why you haven't needed to share their phone number!

Next of kin/ in case of emergency/ rental/ mortgage/ passing it onto friends/ building work/ vets/ kennels... I have been with my partner twenty years and have needed to know all sorts of information in our shared life.

It's not about the validity of your relationship nor how you communicate but how you cannot know their number. It just seems incomprehensible. Hey ho, I will just have to more on with my furrowed brow and blown mind.

Stuff like rentals and other appointments are things we always attend together so he handed it over himself. He comes with me to medical appointments as I have memory issues.

Our friends are shared so already have his info.

Building work, I'm always the main point of contact, my dad was a builder and I used to help him out so I deal with all of that since I know more about it.

We both have disabilities and are very good at compensating for each others needs so rarely go out alone so all these kinds of situations we'd just both be there for.

If I ever needed it I'd just ask, but I've never needed it so never asked. He barely keeps his phone on these days anyway since he prefers to use discord or emails with most of his friends.

Thank you for your advice. I will think about it carefully.
Some parts of the date were great, but some parts were off and now I'm replaying everything in my head. I'm more of a collected person and he was quite unsettled/jumpy at times.
So, for example, rather than try to make eye contact with any passing waiter to signal for the bill, he just jumped up in the middle of our conversation where I was talking and said he'll get the bill and then went off to look for a waiter and he spent a considerable time just wandering around for a free waiter. I thought to follow him but then changed my mind as I thought it's an immature way to behave. We could have waited calmly in our seats calmly or he could have asked us to go look together rather than interrupting me and dashing off. Also, when he came back, he just asked that we called it a day. He didn't acknowledge I was telling him an unfinished story. Then, the goodbye was cold and snappy.
I could be wrong but it appeared to me that he is restless and may lack etiquette - not traits that I find attractive.
But I haven't dated in very long; not sure of myself. Maybe chivalry is dead? Or I'm struggling to date?
Other than these, I did like him.

Don’t be so silly. I never said random people.

I meant official things - hospital NOK/ICE. Legal stuff.

It is incredibly unusual not to know/have your partners number.

@DoAWheelie have you never phoned your partner? Needed a lift / in an emergency?

I think it's odd too.

And op, if something doesn't feel right I'd trust your gut. No point settling.

Many apps let do calls including the one we use. He doesn't drive anyway so isn't the one I'd call for a lift.

Maybe you could say to him about the other day, I don't know… What was going on with you at the end of today's date? You seemed to be agitated.

Then say nothing, and just wait to see what he says.