To feel annoyed that my husband asked me if I was going to put any make-up on

[LaviniaLee]

On the train to see my in-laws, my husband looked at me and said 'are you not going to put any make-up on?'.

I looked miffed and said 'I didn't realise it was so obvious'. He later said he thought I looked nice without make-up, but likes it when I wear it. Previously he has said it's good to wear makeup when I go out.

For context, I never wear it if I'm just in the house or just going to a shop. But I normally put it on if going out to see people, or to go to work. I just wear light make-up (mascara, primer, lipstick, bit of powder/blusher).

AIBU to feel annoyed at this comment? Or is it ok that he makes his prefences known (i.e. that he really likes it when I wear make-up).

I’d be a bit miffed if my DH was wearing an old holey t shirt and grubby trackies when going to see my parents.

Oh come on, comparing someone's clean natural face to "grubby trackies" is ridiculous and offensive.

There's no way you'd draw that kind of comparison about a man daring to visit people without wearing makeup.

If you ‘normally‘ wear it for work /going put/visiting, maybe he thought it was disrespectful not to wear it to visit his family.

I'd have asked him if he was putting make up on too ? Or was it just me that required extra prep

If you ‘normally‘ wear it for work /going put/visiting, maybe he thought it was disrespectful not to wear it to visit his family.

Disrespectful to not put make up on. Fucking hell! 😮

An ex bf used to say this to me and it hugely put me off him. He’d say I looked tired without it. It’s so insulting. Tell him to put make up on before he goes out!

This!

I wouldn't necessarily be mad at him depending on how he said it.
If you usually wear makeup when going seeing people could it be a clumsy way of asking if you were ready or there was anything else you needed to do?

I’m wondering why the OP wears make up when they do.

It’s not the same though is it. Clothes and your actual face are not the bloody same!

I don’t think that's too terrible. DP isn't into makeup. I wear it when I want to, it's no big deal. His beard grows quickly, if he's not had a shave especially when we're going somewhere nice soon, I remind him to shave. He knows I don't like big beards. So, he shaves more.

If you generally get on with your partner these things shouldn't be a big issue. Friends as well as lovers kind of thing. It'd be different if he was telling you to wear it, or that you look rubbish without it.

But perhaps thats what you really think he meant in which case understandably, it's annoyed you. Just weigh up whether it's worth the dialogue and if you want to talk with him about it, then do. At least he tried to backtrack. A bit clumsily, but still.

Well putting makeup on to look better is the same as wearing nice clothes or styling your hair.... so not that 'bloody' different actually.

He didn't say she looked nice! Do you tell your partner what to wear, because you do it or when to have their hair cut, if you do, then stop!

If he likes makeup that much, he can wear it.

Dear lord, people get themselves het up.
No I don't tell my husband what to do... but I do encourage him to get a haircut when he looks scruffy, because he doesn't notice himself.
I suppose I'm a bully and a narc now.

I think it more about this is your normal routine and the effort you make when you go to see people and could come across as though you Cba to make an effort because it’s his parents

Should? Should?!

No.

As you say you normally wear it when going out to work or whatever, I don't think it's outrageous he asked you. It's a bit like asking if you're going to change out of your loungewear before you have guests. Just a question.

'are you not going to put any make-up on?'.
Is OK. I mean if you normally wear it and didn't this time. Unless he was imperiously ordering you.
"Previously he has said it's good to wear makeup when I go out." => Is not ok.