How to stop co sleeping

[christmasbiscuits23]

Dd is 2 and has never slept in her own room. She's still in a cot by our bed. And without fail she wakes up around an hour after we've gone to bed at night wanting to get in bed with us. I never used to mind but as she'd gotten bigger and more wriggly we just never get any sleep. She literally lays on top of me! Or feet/arms in my face. And she's usually up at about 5:30 for the day so dh and I are both shattered.

I just don't know how to break this cycle now. I don't think she'll take well to being in her own room as she seems to really crave touch and being close to us. Even if she settled in there alone I still think she'd wake in the night and we'd end up bringing her in as she gets so distressed. It almost seems habitual now. I dont mind co sleeping but we're just not sleeping! Any tips?

The mummy and daddy sleep consultants have an online plan for this. You need to be firm & consistent. Get new duvet and pillow set new night light etc and establish a routine. First night sit by their bed with them, kiss and cuddle goodnight. Say a phrase, ours was ‘sleepytime now’ and stroke back or hand. You keep doing this until they fall asleep and for any wake ups. Even if it takes hours, you have to be consistent. You do this for 3 nights, you are by their side whilst they are falling asleep. You do not let them ‘cry it out’. The fourth night you sot near their bed in the room repeating phrase you do this for three nights. The following three nights you sit by the door. It is exhausting and hard but they will realise that this is the new bedtime and routine. Reward charts and stickers could work too. Essentially it is being firm, fair and consistent. Good luck 🤞🏼

My DD was like this so DH slept on an airbed next to our bed and she would come in with me. That was the only way as despite having a super king size bed, the wriggling is difficult at that age. She should have enough space to wriggle if there’s only two of you in the bed. My DH stayed on the airbed rather than in a spare room because I wasn’t going to be dealing with any wake ups on my own! Make sure you have full support before making any changes like this.

If she’s up at 5:30am she is getting too much sleep. Drop the nap if she has one. This is the age where so many parents say “but they still get tired in the afternoon” - this is normal and they do this for ages, but if you let them keep on napping it helps nobody. Just bring bedtime a little earlier.

Co-sleeping does end. Mine naturally grew out of it at 3. Try to change your mindset around it. You are meeting your DD’s needs. That’s amazing. A lot of parents don’t do that and then judge those of us who co-sleep - it’s crazy. You’re a good parent.

She will get there and you will sleep again! My daughter was similar - I used to get her to sleep in her bed (or our bed and then carry her to her bed, which I know isn't what's advised but needs must!). Then I'd bring her in to our bed after her first wake.
Eventually she slept longer and longer, and she started sleeping through the night in her own bed a month or two before turning 3. She is now 4 and will still wake occasionally but is happy for one of us to sit with her while she goes back to sleep in her bed (there was no possibility of this when she was 2).
The sleeping through did also start a month or two after she dropped her nap, so look out for that 🤞

With my girls it stopped happening when they were ready. Once they moved into their own rooms they always started the night in their own beds and would come in with us at some.point in the night. Over time these gaps started getting longer and longer, usually by the time they were 3. Then they'd occasionally sleep through, usually by the age of 4. My 5 year old still comes in with us at some point 1 night in 3. 8 year old never does. Any effort to stop will probably result in less sleep in the short term anyway. I might look at ways to adjust eg go to sleep early expecting a 5.30 wake up, make sure you both get lie ins, am alternative place for either adult to sleep to avoid the wriggling. Take turns to cope and you will get through it.

We did this at the same age with a sleep consultant

Sorry just seen she is in a cot in your room . I would try her in her own room. We did at 2 for both kids. Make it exciting and fun. We have always stayed until they are asleep then left. Don't expect her to stay long in there at first, just bring her in with you when she does wake. But over time this will allow her to start to practice sleeping independently and it will get better over time.

Get a small double bed in get room with bed rails and put her to bed in there. If she wakes during the night alternate every evening which parent joins her in her bed. Everyone has enough space! Get her a large ish cuddly toy, during the day talk to her about snuggle back down with the cuddly toy when she wakes up and eventually she will.