To wonder what the best way of reducing scrolling and time on social media is

[Fl100p555]

The default way seems to be to go cold turkey and just delete apps however there are good parts of SM I wish to keep and I think deleting isn’t necessarily realistic. Or is it?

I want to reduce my hours on it and scrolling hugely though.

Would setting a time and limits work? Has anybody got any suggestions or found anything that works? What is the ideal amount of time to allow in a day? I was thinking of maybe an hour.

Yes the answer is obvious, delete the apps. I've not had shitbook or instaspam for 7 and 3 years respectively- they're just a waste of time. I use LinkdIn for work (learning/topic discussion) and MN for 10 mins or so a day. Weve basically banned social media in our home, and it's so much better for mental health /actually talking to each other.

Just. Hit. Delete.

Are you on medication for the ADHD? I scroll much less with mine. It's like it gets boring after a while. I have basically stopped using FB altogether as I'm annoyed by all the suggested content and ads taking up most of my feed and it does feel like a waste of time.

Reddit and MN are the ones I still go on. And some whatsapp groups but only with people I know IRL. Actually the RL whatsapp groups have replaced a lot of what I used to think of as the benefits of social media. It might help you if you can actually set out what you think the positives are. There can be other ways to do everything, often better. For example, I made a commitment to call my mum/sister every Thursday and we now remind each other, so I don't feel like I have to update FB so they can see what we are up to. Prioritising local friends that I regularly see and family and good friends who I want to maintain a connection with is better than trying to maintain as many as possible tiny fragile threads with people I went to primary school with.

Instagram I've never been that into but I did go in and delete everything that was duplicated or that made me feel annoyed. Try to notice how it makes you feel. I have noticed I get really irritated by microcontent and the associated people misunderstanding it - because microcontent often takes a complex topic and tries to present one tiny part of it as the entire story. It can make sense if you already have background knowledge, but people seeing it for the first time often misinterpret it. I used to spend a lot of time explaining, arguing, elaborating - and why? They probably just put their phone down and immediately forgot the conversation

I did actually hide AIBU at one point as well because I found that most of the threads on AIBU were giving me that frustrated feeling of people talking past each other. This helped me with MN - going into Talk > Customise lets you hide certain sections. I did at some point unhide it and I'm not on MN all day so... it seems to have broken the habit.

The other things I've done which have helped is identified three specific areas I'm wanting to make progress on. Because when I'm on SM sometimes I kid myself that I'm doing some really special and important research or something like that.

OK I know this is really unfocused and I wanted to add more and probably rearrange it and do some bullet points or something but I need to go and do something with DC.

Summary

Think about what the positives are - do you really need SM for this? Is it still working for this?

Think about what you want your day to look like instead/what do you want to replace SM with? (I don't mind admitting this was really daunting at first because I spent SO much time on my computer I was almost scared of what to do with it)

Get rid of notifications as much as possible. Change location of icons on phone.

Notice which apps feel addictive and swap them for less addictive things (games?? I find some make me feel really weird and intense like "just one more round" and some are fine.)

Prioritise quality over quantity with relationships AND content.

Podcasts = I didn't get to write a whole paragraph about this but I listen to podcasts while cleaning, taking DC to park, walking little one in buggy etc. Instead of following someone on instagram if I think they have good info, I use instagram to get a very quick idea of what their general tone/message is and then I don't follow them on there, I go and look for if they have a podcast or if they have been interviewed on a podcast.

Do you use an android phone? Mine has a digital wellbeing app where you can set timers for apps and websites. I have Instagram and Facebook limited to 10 mins each.

(Mumsnet is a different story!)

It can be that simple if you want it to be.
For example, I never take my phone to bed with me. It stays downstairs where it belongs.
I leave it in the kitchen on an evening and either watch a bit of TV or read a book.
If I go out anywhere, such as shopping, I leave it in my car.
That type of thing.
So yes, it can be that simple.

Hahaha, brilliant.

You should write to the government and offer your advice

You are clearly not addicted in the first place - do you think that might make just a tiny difference?

I just say no to alcohol. I'm not sure I can offer much helpful advice to those addicted to alcohol.

Delete the apps so you have to actually log in.
Set timers for each apps.
Leave phone downstairs at night.
Start a jigsaw or something to do with your hands.

All the things others have mentioned.

Also constantly remind yourself: At the end of your life, the sum total of your life is nothing more than the things you attended to at each moment. Is this really what you want your life to have been?

This has really worked for me, a terrible scroller who never normally implements good bedtime routines. Have stuck to this for a year and been getting more sleep, although I'm still going to bed too late. Good luck.

Not anymore, no.

Another couple of things that spring to mind that have helped me recently.

Planning what to do instead - this is hard with ADHD but rather than say, sitting down and making a daily plan what I have found helps here is dividing the day up into sections and then having a list of ideas for things to do in each section.

So for example, when DC want attention I have a sort of "list" I can run down:

Outside time?
Lego
Train track
Colouring
Board game etc

And if I want to half-do something mindless while e.g. watching TV I can:

Jigsaw puzzle
Craft kit
Colouring
Bad sewing (fix holes in trousers, make tiny doll's clothes/doll's house curtains etc)
Paint nails

If I know I need to just stand up and get off the computer

Kitchen/daily task cleaning
Laundry
Food prep
(These are boring, but I use the idea of a podcast to motivate myself)

Knowing when my energy levels are likely to be highest/lowest during the day. For example I have guilt free computer time first thing in the morning. If it's my morning to get up, I get up when DC wake up, settle them with TV/breakfast, change nappies. Then I do my own teeth/coffee and I let myself veg until about 9am. They get up anywhere between 6 and 8 so that could be a couple of hours.

9-11ish tends to be my best time so I aim to "give it" to DC by playing with them or do something in the house. Break for lunch. Then swap to the opposite - or take DC outside as they tend to need exercise, like dogs.

Again, 3pm-4pm is often an energy dip for me. If I've got up really early or had shit sleep then my medication also wears off about now and gives me a huge crash which makes me zombie like. Nothing I can do about that so I do guilt free screen time (for me and DC!)

4pm is then time to start moving on dinner, maybe 4:30 if I'm really sluggish. After dinner DH usually does something with them, I might join in or if I'm just too low on energy then one of my "sitting down mindless activities" while watching them.

Then it's guilt free after they are in bed. But I have another "wind down" routine/rule which starts at 10pm after which I don't get into long MN threads, "just one more round" games, youtube, "just one more episode" TV or research rabbit holes.

Also I went around and around this for years and never quite worked it out but I need things to be interruptible. For example I started writing this post a couple of hours ago, then DC wanted to play so I just left it open on computer, there probably was some period where I would have felt panicky about doing that like "This person needs an answer immediately!!!! The thread might have moved on and my reply might be irrelevant!!" - but this isn't realistically true for most threads. Not that much is that urgent (and honestly, when it does seem that urgent, it's probably a troll thread anyway!)

This is annoying when I come back and write a reply in several sessions and then a thread gets deleted, but oh well. It mostly reminds me NOT to invest a whole lot of time into something that doesn't directly benefit me/people who are important to me.

Quite often literally just the action of standing up and being in a different room makes me look around and think ugh, the bathroom needs cleaning and I need to remind DS1 to get some sunlight and all the other things that I miss when I'm hyperfocused on a screen.

I use the blocksite app on my phone to stop my access to the sites on which I mindlessly scroll the most. It's about £3 a month, but it works for me. I can access the sites elsewhere obvs, but that takes more effort.

Bit pointless having a phone then isn't it! So many uses for it when you're out, what help is it left in the car? That's baby out with bathwater advice

Following. It's hard. Quitting entirely isn't an option. As a mum I feel like social media is needed these days to keep in touch with stuff for DC, like local activities, clubs etc.

Currently considering changing to a non smart phone and using a separate smart phone or tablet to access social media at set times. Anyone tried this? I feel like that would work but feels like a lot of setup required.

@Chowit presumably you have a landline also?

I'd love to leave my phone out of the bedroom, but that feels irresponsible as I have a small DC and think what if I need to call 999 in the middle of the night in case of a house fire etc.

@BertieBotts where do you keep the lists?

That is such a helpful post for me thank you. I also have executive functioning issues due to ND and half the problem is that the phone becomes the default thing to do because of the cognition required to plan something else.

Yabu

Me too Gruffling, I also have ASC to go with the ADHD and yes Thankyou @BertieBotts and all the other suggestions from people. Working my way through them. I need to sort this as scrolling and screen time makes the ADHD worse.

What I find tricky is how much I need my phone for everything and how much I can fall down a rabbit hole on it. Ie I’m trying to find myself some curtains. I could spend hours researching options. Today I think I’m going to nip over to Dunelm as opposed to spending hours on the site. Can’t do that all the time though. 😫

So not starting online food shopping!

Edited because I didn’t read the quoted post.

My Samsung phone has the option to set a daily time limit on using social media.
Maybe worth checking your settings.

I saw something online that said don’t touch your phone for an hour after waking up. Then have 10 mins every 3 hours and set a timer for each period. The 1 hr on wake up and 3 hr windows felt manageable to me although I was probably pushing the 10 mins a bit. I ditched it over Christmas though and went back to crazy levels of scrolling!

I set a timer on Facebook for one hour per day, as soon as it notifies me my hour is up that's it, it's the only SM app I use apart from MN but I was still spending way too long every day scrolling, I also have one day a week I don't go near it at all, it gets easier the more you do it

The lists are, sort of unproductively, on my computer on notepad or more recently I have been using Google docs but honestly when it's four items, I can remember them. It helps that I introduced each of these replacements at different times. It's really just the fact of having a decision that's already made so I'm not automatically going for that one screen option, I know what else to pick. A bit like it's easier to choose what to have for breakfast when the options are toast, cornflakes, Müsli rather than all the possible options in the world for lunch (I hate lunch, maybe this is a me problem!)

There is only one cure for me:

Turn the phone black and white

Everything is suddenly boring.

Ill be doing it tomorrow, so farewell everyone 😢

@3luckystars how do you do that??

I leave my phone in the kitchen from about 7pm to stop me scrolling. I read or watch tv instead.