Avoiding an event?

[Elisabeth3468]

Family gathering in a couple of days and I don't want to go.
I suffer with infertility and recently had an early miscarriage. At the gathering will be a family members new baby, which I am really happy for and excited to meet: but I'm worried how I will react or feel when I see them. I don't want to show any negative emotions and be upset in front of anyone.
People in my family just dont understand the pain of infertility. I have a wonderful young child of my own and I am very lucky but still feel like I'm in a different club to everyone else as we are finding it hard to conceive our second too.
Is it selfish and self indulgent for me to avoid this event?
Or should I suck it up and go because it shouldn't be about me anyway?

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I don’t think it’s wrong to feel how you’re feeling - I have just had a miscarriage too while trying for my second and I think I would feel the same as you in that position.

Put yourself first, make an excuse (if you feel you need to) and meet the new baby another time in a quieter setting when you feel ready.

Hmmm... I'm infertile and never carried a biological kid to term so I understand miscarriages and infertility.

I suppose in your situation it would depend on a couple things.

Is this someone who supported you when you had a baby? Is it their first baby?

To be honest I usually pushed myself and went to things like this.

At the end of the day though your mental health matters most, and only you know if you can handle it.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage OP. I hope that you're looking after yourself during this difficult time 💓
It's completely fine to skip this event if you feel you will get upset. It's still early days for you perhaps, maybe you can meet them when you feel a bit better? (hope you get what I'm trying to say)

It’s absolutely okay to not go. You have to take care of yourself first. It will get easier, but if it’s still very fresh and raw, give yourself some compassion. Just send your apologies and wish them a lovely time.