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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just cannot win

4 replies

Isabella40 · 29/12/2023 21:35

We very rarely see my family last time we saw them was over 6 months ago. Parents are retired they live just over an hour away. We decided we wanted a quiet Christmas just the four of us. It was lovely. We planned on seeing the grandparents on Boxing Day but they chose to spend the day with my brother which is absolutely fine.
Weeks ago my mum messaged me to say she hadn't seen the grandchildren for ages. I didn't respond as I didn't know what to say. We know they have been passed our town on way to a holiday so have had plenty of opportunities plus they have a lot of time on their hands.
Last week she messaged me saying she decided not to buy the children presents but would give them money as she has no ideas what to get them. If they spent time with them that would be good.
My eldest daughter found talking to my mum difficult on the phone everything she mentioned my mum was very negative. My mum doesn't even listen to what they have to say!!! My dad didn't even speak to his grandchildren.
I've tried to arrange a catch up over new year but they are going away. Why are families so difficult!!!!!

OP posts:
KnowledgeableMomma · 29/12/2023 21:43

Is there a reason why you haven't seen them in 6 months? It feels like a lot of info is lacking here.

TheSilentSister · 29/12/2023 21:43

Sounds like there might be a bit of a back story? Or you are simply prioritising your own family, which is lovely. Your parents are perfectly capable of travelling so why don't you invite them over and leave it up to them to take you up on the offer.
How does your brother's interaction with them differ to yours? Is there favouritism? Do you feel they are only making an issue of not seeing them to feel less guilty about their lack of effort? Do you feel some guilt?
Sorry, lots of questions!

Cherrysoup · 29/12/2023 21:47

They live an hour away. Why don’t you just go and see them? An hour is nothing. Trying to ‘catch up over New Year’, deciding to spend Christmas ‘just the four of you’ sounds like you just can’t be bothered.

TwiddlingMyToes · 29/12/2023 21:47

Do you also go and see your parents or is the onus always on one side or the other to make the journey

I feel we need more info as to what you haven't seen them for 6 months!

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