....to be suspicious???

[AmIEnough]

Long story short, my husband has had a skin rash which is very itchy and has caused him a lot of irritation over the last week or two. He has finally gone to see the Doctor, who has told him he has scabies which apparently can only be contracted via prolonged bodily contact, so he came home, trying to insinuate that I or my daughter must've given it to him yet neither my daughter or myself have any skin rashes at all and haven't had either. His tone completely pissed me off. I kind of saw it as deflection. I can't help thinking he's hiding something which I feel bad for but what would you think?

MIL got it from kids in her school, as did one of my pals who was just training as a teacher. She had to wear gloves on her Saturday job so she didn’t pass it on to customers.

It definitely doesn’t need to be sexually communicated.

What would I think? I’d think he’s been shagging someone else, with questionable personal hygiene. I see you’ve had loads of responses reassuring you otherwise and they may be right but MNetters regularly suggest that DH/DP’s have been having “Posh Wanks” on threads where an OP is asking for advice about having less condoms than expected in their supply or unexpected condoms found in amongst their DH/DP’s personal belongings 🙄. So I would probably take such responses with a grain of salt.

This isn't correct.
Don't scaremonger

My friend caught it from doing CPR
Contact with someone else, or their recently used sheets, towels, clothing is all that's needed

@Greentomatic you need to read my post again! I clearly mention bedding, towels 😂

His reaction wouldn't make me suspicious. He might assume that it's from your or your child because you're the only ones he's had close contact with? In reality he could have caught it elsewhere. There was an outbreak in my office which must have been from shared kitchen utensils or shared meeting chairs.

As I have a good relationship with DH and trust him, and as I do not have a rash myself, I would presume he picked it up somewhere and that it was not suspicious. I would also feel sorry that he had a condition like that. The fact you are suspicious is the question you need to answer for yourself. Why?

Crumbs how grim! I always thought I was being OTT about not wanting to use communal cutlery/crockery...!

I’ve we got them once and believe me I wasn’t cheating, I have no idea where I’ve got them from.

If he has cheated, it would be quite spectacular if he caught scabies as a result. 😂

No, you don't have it for life unless you refuse to use the standard treatment. Scabies are mites under the skin. Kill them ASAP and don't spread it around.

Yes, it does usually affect the hands, it goes in between the fingers a lot, I had it on my hands when I got it years ago, so I guess that would spread to others on shared things that are touched

I caught scabies once from a colleagues little girl who’d she brought into the office and didn’t say until she was leaving that she had scabies, little one was sat on my lap colouring in at my desk whilst mum was talking to the manager in her office.

Is he guilty about something and deflecting onto you?

This is incorrect. Scabies can be caught from anyone that are close to each where one has them. If he’s been staying away for work in hotels that can highly be the likely source of they haven’t been cleaned correctly.

We had it on our family. My mum caught it from a gay, male friend. They definitely didn't have prolonged physical contact! We all ended up catching it from from towels

I caught it from my mattress in halls of residence. It's not an STD.

You can pick it up from any carrier, skin to skin. Server in restaurant, handing change at a till, for instance. Also from sexual contact, prolonged or otherwise. If you're close enough you can take it home with you. Doesn't mean anyone has been playing away and it needs to be treated with the appropriate chemicals, not woo.

Lets just throw all the standard MNer answers into one post.
Leave the bastard, he's clearly cheating. Has he always been this way? Why did you marry him? He's gaslighting you. This is coercive control. Get a clares law check on him. Do the online course. Get yourself to a solicitor first thing on Monday morning. Start getting all the paperwork together copies of all bank details. Go NC with his family.

It's a highly contagious condition that can be picked up anywhere. I personally wouldn't know how to act if I'd been told I had a condition that was most likely picked up from sexual contact. He's probably bewildered as to how he caught it, knows he hasn't done the dirty and knows the only people he's had close contact with are you and daughter.
He may have given 20 people a Chrismas kiss/hug greeting or saying good bye over last few weeks. People dancing in circle with arms around each other at Christmas party. Trying on a new jacket in shops.
If you're gonna do the dirty unlikely you're that desperate to do it with someone with scabies.

That is exactly why I’m suspicious

Exactly this. And today I find myself very stand offish for exactly this reason

If he stayed in a hotel it was probably that. Hotels don't change all their linen between guests, only what looks dirty. On the single day I worked as a chambermaid (Travel Inn) we were told to change the sheets and pillow cases but not the duvet cover unless it was visibly marked. Towels are only changed if they're unfolded, so if they've been used and rehung they won't be changed.

I caught it when I was 13 from a friend, I passed it to my baby sister, it was awful. Nothing to do with sexual contact

Then unless there are other reasons to be suspicious, you're probably not reading the multiple posts explaining this isn't necessarily sexually transmitted.

A lot of children catch scabies. That's no more sexually transmitted than nits.