Friend texting when ill

[covidsis]

I currently have Covid and a flare up of an auto immune disease and although I'm not in a super bad way, I'm still bad enough to be very weak, spaced out and coughing and spluttering. I am obviously not seeing people.

I was meant to be seeing a friend who is in the country for Christmas and the New Year before heading back to the country where she lives at the end of Jan. She is here seeing friends and family and is staying with her mum and dad so not here to see me specifically.

I told her a week ago that I'm ill with Covid and having a flare up and I'll be in touch when I'm back on my feet.

Every day since then, she has text to see how I am. It's been a week and she's messaged every day. I told her on the first five or six days that there was no change and I'm taking it a day at a time and I'll be in touch when I'm feeling better. Now I just 'heart' the message and don't reply but thinking I might even stop doing this as it's probably reinforcing her. We are in our 40's and I feel like this is being back at school!

I basically want to be left alone and I'll be in touch when I'm better. Is it that hard to understand? I feel like a horrible person, but honestly every time I see her name crop up I feel deflated.

So, AIBU to expect to be left alone to get better and not receive daily check ins?

Tell her to stop messaging you. Some people don't get it until you tell them to shut up.

Is she checking in to push you to see her, or to check you are ok?
When I had covid back in 2020 one of my oldest friends text me every morning at 8 so that if I couldn’t respond she could send the paramedics round. Ok, we were all more scared then, but I found it pretty reassuring as someone who lives alone.

I have a shocking cough/virus and an auto immune disease and haven't left the house for 10 days. I am extremely grateful to any friends that text me. It's lovely to know I'm being thought of.

We're all different and unless you've specifically let her know, how will she tell the difference between you and me?

Get well soon!

Just say 'Thanks for checking in on me, X. Apologies if I don't always reply, but I'm still feeling really rough and it sometimes takes me all my energy just to get the basics done! Will be in touch properly when I've recovered'.
Then relax!

So you haven't asked her to stop but are annoyed she didn't read your mind? Has it occurred to you that she may just want to check how you are feeling out of general concern?

Ooops, I can be like your friend!
I do it out of kindness and so they don’t feel alone/ know they can reach out to someone if they need anything. I wouldn’t have thought one message a day ‘Hope you are doing ok, shout if you need anything’ kind of thing was intrusive?

She sounds caring about you unlike your attitude.

I would assume she’s just being kind and thoughtful.

I think it's really considerate of her to remember you're ill and check in

I do this too to show I care and that I'm thinking of them. I'd hope someone would tell if they felt I was harassing them.

Actually I snapped today as I've had virus/gastro flu for nearly 2 weeks (obviously no Xmas for me). But elderly relatives keep going on about how worried they are, I've had enough and yelled LEAVE ME ALONE. It's starting to clear up now. But I didn't think it was 'sweet', I felt harassed.

If you don't like being contacted tell her you'll be in contact when you're better but you don't want contact for now.

Thanks for all your replies. I've been saying to her that I know she cares but I'm feeling the same and I'll be in contact when I feel better and we can catch up. I thought this was a kind way to basically say 'thanks for the texts but please leave me alone and I'll message when I'm back to full strength'

But she is still messaging every day so clearly my message isn't clear enough. I am one of those people who just likes to be left alone when they are ill and not have daily check ins from people. Every few days is fine, but every day is too much for me.

I'll text her again and say 'you don't need to text me every day, DH is looking after me and hopefully I'll be over the worst by the weekend and we can catch up next week. I'll give you an update on Monday. Have a great weekend xx' that kind of thing.

Thanks again all for giving me an insight to how she might feel.