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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay them rent?

73 replies

throughiwatch · 29/12/2023 19:01

Me and my ex moved into his parents two years ago. He does freelance and I lost my job in covid and we couldn’t afford central London anymore.

They are very wealthy and basically gave us an entire floor to ourselves and never asked for rent. They also live in London so it was an easy decision to accept when they offered.

Me and my partner have since broken up and it wasn’t pleasant (no cheating involved) and I’ve moved out. I’ve come over to give them my key and they’ve advised me that I need to pay them £5K to cover rent for the last two months.

I know they are doing this to hurt me as it was me who initiated the breakup, surely I don’t owe them though. No contract was signed.

OP posts:
Nonimai · 29/12/2023 20:16

I think they have said this to make you remember that you have had 2 yrs without making a contribution. They were putting the wind up you - as they say in the North. They are unlikely to take this forward if you are telling the truth about the nature of you staying there.
I have to say I am automatically suspicious of anyone saying they lived rent free - particularly with someone they weren’t related to. I pay my way in life. You should have had enough about you to be at least contributing. I think they probably said about the 5k because they felt used. If you were working and on a London wage without rent , have you enough put by to give them a contribution?

Eleganz · 29/12/2023 20:21

Just don't engage with them any further and move on. They were happy with the arrangement when you were in a relationship with their son and did not take the necessary steps to formalise it in anyway.

I wouldn't give it a second thought.

QWE96 · 29/12/2023 20:22

C1N1C · 29/12/2023 19:08

No, you don't owe them anything... but morally, maybe.

You lived there rent free, put them out, and broke their son's heart. You get to walk away and wash your hands of this, and they get to pick up the pieces. They're innocents in all this.

Did you thank them during/after? Did you apologise to them?

Others may disagree, but at the very least I'd send a token gift to thank them for their support and time, and apologise for how things ended.

What is the OP apologising for? Ending an unhappy relationship, which she is in her right to do? Should the OP have stayed with her ex to prevent his parents' feelings getting hurt? They chose to let her live there rent free - the OP has absolutely no obligation to them.

PBandJ111 · 29/12/2023 20:26

Ignore them.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 29/12/2023 20:26

Cerealkiller4U · 29/12/2023 19:38

I have a slightly different view

but surely there’s a verbal contract? And all it would take is the parents to explain this in court?

I mean I wouldn’t pay it and let them take you to court though!!! Then fight it. I suspect they’re just bluffing. But I do wonder if they could get away with it….

No there's not. A verbal contract has the same requirements as a written contract, which would include both parties agreeing to the terms of the contract. Rent payments should have come out or they should have sought enforcement and after correct notice terminated the agreement if she wouldn't pay. They'd also have to show that they took a deposit and protected it in an appropriate scheme and that they had all the necessary checks done on the property to make sure it was safe before renting it out. Being a landlord is more complex than just collecting rent.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 29/12/2023 20:29

They'd also have to show that they took a deposit and protected it in an appropriate scheme

They wouldn’t (if they had a contract) as the OP said she and her boyfriend had a floor of the parents home - so they’d have been lodgers, not tenants, and lodger’s deposits don’t require scheme protection.

Angelsrose · 29/12/2023 20:38

You don't owe anything. Move on and don't give it a second thought.

mrsm43s · 29/12/2023 20:39

Well obviously, without a contract, you don't legally owe them anything for rent.

But really, do you think that, as a grown adult, it's reasonable to freeload off other adults? Why do you feel entitled to them supporting you? Honestly, I'd be very, very embarrassed and frankly disgusted with myself as a grown adult not being prepared to pay my own way in life.

LittleGreenDragons · 29/12/2023 20:39

You know...if they get snippy with you just say you've been paying their son your share of the rent so they need to get it directly from him. You don't have to specify whether your share was financial or was via cleaning, cooking, paying the utility bills or food shopping etc. Personally though, I would still ask to see your contract as that shuts it down immediately.

redalex261 · 29/12/2023 20:40

Why do they want payment for the last two months specifically? Also, if they are asking for £5k towards your share for two months that suggests their assessment of worth for a house share is rather high! (must’ve been a mansion in Belgravia 🤣!) Seems weird. I would not be paying them anything. There was no agreement to pay “rent” when the arrangement started so certainly no obligation to pay after the event. I can appreciate there may have been an atmosphere during the break up and things may have been uncomfortable but that is not grounds to spring a bill on you for ditching their boy. Did you return keys/collect belongings quickly?

Sodndashitall · 29/12/2023 20:43

Basically you are right. They are doing this to hurt you because you hurt their DS and no you don't have to pay them any rent as there's no rental.contract or agreement and they've just made up this amount of money.
Presumably you've left now and made your excuses. You never have to see them again and that will almost certainly be last you hear of it

CandyLeBonBon · 29/12/2023 20:48

C1N1C · 29/12/2023 19:08

No, you don't owe them anything... but morally, maybe.

You lived there rent free, put them out, and broke their son's heart. You get to walk away and wash your hands of this, and they get to pick up the pieces. They're innocents in all this.

Did you thank them during/after? Did you apologise to them?

Others may disagree, but at the very least I'd send a token gift to thank them for their support and time, and apologise for how things ended.

Relationships end. That's life.

You're interpreting quite a lot from OP's post.

How do you know he was heartbroken?
How do you know they were put out?

I'm not sure how you've got all of that from OP's post! If they wanted rent, they should've pursued an agreement whilst she was living there.

There's no precedent to suddenly charged £5k randomly after she's moved out when there was no agreement to pay anything whilst she was living there.

As a pp said, I'd be asking for a copy of the tenancy agreement!

LaughingCat · 29/12/2023 20:49

I mean, I’d have been paying something for the last couple of years, even if it was a token amount. And I probably would have also bought them a small something when it ended, thanked them for opening their home when things got tough for us as a couple and said that no matter how things ended with their son or what they think of me now, that I’ll always appreciate that.

Two months rent…no, they’d not get that from me.

JanglingJack · 29/12/2023 21:09

I can't believe the amount of thought that has gone in to some of these posts.

You've handed the key back. That's that.

Relationships break up. May I wish you all the best for the future @throughiwatch

Siha345 · 29/12/2023 21:16

What did you say to them when they told you they expected £5k from you?

WiddlinDiddlin · 29/12/2023 21:17

Hahahaha.... oh dear.

I would ignore them or state firmly, no rent is owed, none shall be paid!

They have got a cheek.

oneflewoverthe · 29/12/2023 21:19

Tell them to bugger off. Bitter people. Then block

Delassalle · 29/12/2023 21:28

You were invited to live there as a guest.

Perhaps over the last two years you helped around the home and kept your living quarters clean and tidy and paid for anything you broke or used up etc.

You do not owe them anything at all.

Justcallmebebes · 29/12/2023 21:42

Cerealkiller4U · 29/12/2023 19:38

I have a slightly different view

but surely there’s a verbal contract? And all it would take is the parents to explain this in court?

I mean I wouldn’t pay it and let them take you to court though!!! Then fight it. I suspect they’re just bluffing. But I do wonder if they could get away with it….

No such thing as a verbal contract

Original poster
throughiwatch · 29/12/2023 21:45

mrsm43s · 29/12/2023 20:39

Well obviously, without a contract, you don't legally owe them anything for rent.

But really, do you think that, as a grown adult, it's reasonable to freeload off other adults? Why do you feel entitled to them supporting you? Honestly, I'd be very, very embarrassed and frankly disgusted with myself as a grown adult not being prepared to pay my own way in life.

Would you like a tissue for your nosebleed?

Well it’s a good job that you don’t have to be very very embarrassed and disgusted at a situation that you didn’t experience.

I never freeloaded off anyone for the record. I attempted multiple times during the time I lived there to offer money and it was always refused.

I slowly moved out over the last six months and rarely stayed there, but unfortunately I have a manipulative ex that threatens suicide every time I try to leave.

OP posts:
Needsomesupport84 · 29/12/2023 21:48

God, he sounds awful, as do they. Manipulative dicks the lot of them. Just block them on all modes of communication, do not give a forwarding address and move on with your life. If I was going to pay that much in rent I wouldn't want to be living with my in-laws fgs.

CandyLeBonBon · 29/12/2023 21:49

@Justcallmebebes yes there is such a thing as a verbal contract - but they are difficult to prove

Needsomesupport84 · 29/12/2023 21:49

Oh and there is such a thing as a verbal contract but this is clearly not one here because it would need to specify the rent and the frequency of payment. They would have zero chance in court, literally zero so don't worry about it at all.

CandyLeBonBon · 29/12/2023 21:50

CandyLeBonBon · 29/12/2023 21:49

@Justcallmebebes yes there is such a thing as a verbal contract - but they are difficult to prove

And not relevant in this case

Cherrysoup · 29/12/2023 21:50

I hope you’re away from manipulative ex now? Block his/her parents and move on.

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