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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to clap at the end of a performance?

76 replies

HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:19

I have a condition that means clapping can make me pretty unwell pretty quickly. But it just feels so desperately rude not to applaud.

I generally at least just applaud a bit if it's one of the children's school shows or similar, because I worry the other parents will really judge. But often it takes hours before I feel recovered.

But is it really bad not to applaud at a professional show? Any suggestions what I could do instead? I don't want to look like I haven't enjoyed it, but it really does make me unwell

OP posts:
GHSP · 29/12/2023 15:20

Mime clapping when you’re just tapping your hands gently against each other?

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 29/12/2023 15:20

Could you do a thumbs-up towards the stage?

Isitsixoclockalready · 29/12/2023 15:21

I can't say that I even notice whether other people are applauding something or not.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 29/12/2023 15:21

Use the British Sign Language sign for applause? I think enough people are aware of it that they would realise you are showing your appreciation of the performance.

Original poster
HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:21

RichardMarxisinnocent · 29/12/2023 15:21

Use the British Sign Language sign for applause? I think enough people are aware of it that they would realise you are showing your appreciation of the performance.

Oh what's this please? That might work

OP posts:
scoutingfor · 29/12/2023 15:22

No it's not bad. If you can't do it you can't do it. I get really shaky if I make certain movements so would never clap. I'm not aware of anyone inspecting the crowd to see who claps though.

Original poster
HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:22

Isitsixoclockalready · 29/12/2023 15:21

I can't say that I even notice whether other people are applauding something or not.

That makes me feel better! You're probably right I just feel very self conscious about it

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 29/12/2023 15:23

How does clapping make you unwell? (genuine question - is it a physical thing? Or does it effect your MH?)

GrandHighPoohbah · 29/12/2023 15:23

Could you do a big smile, thumbs up, etc?

Original poster
HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:24

Crunchymum · 29/12/2023 15:23

How does clapping make you unwell? (genuine question - is it a physical thing? Or does it effect your MH?)

I have myasthenia gravis. The more I use a muscle the weaker I get. And rapid arm movements affect my bulbar muscles too (my ability to hold up my neck , speak, and swallow)

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 29/12/2023 15:25

I have EDS and have repeatedly dislocated my thumbs by clapping. I have to remind myself not to.

mottytotty · 29/12/2023 15:25

GHSP · 29/12/2023 15:20

Mime clapping when you’re just tapping your hands gently against each other?

This is what I do when I’m put through an interminable musical at the theatre like Les Mis 🤣

Have you tried this, OP?

But clapping really isn’t mandatory, just relax your arms and ignore people.

Original poster
HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:25

GrandHighPoohbah · 29/12/2023 15:23

Could you do a big smile, thumbs up, etc?

Yes I think a thumbs up would work. I can't always easily smile because my facial muscles are weak.

OP posts:
Original poster
HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:27

TyneTeas · 29/12/2023 15:25

Ahh this still involves rapid movement /lifting my arms so I think probably best avoided but it might work for someone else Smile

OP posts:
RichardMarxisinnocent · 29/12/2023 15:28

HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:24

I have myasthenia gravis. The more I use a muscle the weaker I get. And rapid arm movements affect my bulbar muscles too (my ability to hold up my neck , speak, and swallow)

Show quote history

Aah in that case perhaps sign language wouldn't be a good option as you have to move your hands/wrists.

McDonaldsEater · 29/12/2023 15:29

Honestly, it's fine just to smile.

Crunchymum · 29/12/2023 15:31

HesBehindYou · 29/12/2023 15:24

I have myasthenia gravis. The more I use a muscle the weaker I get. And rapid arm movements affect my bulbar muscles too (my ability to hold up my neck , speak, and swallow)

Show quote history

Thank you for explaining.

Absolutely do not do anything detrimental to your health, and don't waste a moment worrying about what other people might think.

soggybottomedfruitcake · 29/12/2023 15:35

Don’t worry about it. Be glad that you are able to go out an enjoy yourself, that is the only important thing honestly.

pickledandpuzzled · 29/12/2023 15:37

I slap my thighs or stamp my feet. In your case, a mixture of gentle movements might work.

AndThatWasNY · 29/12/2023 15:38

I get pain from clapping so tend to do a thumbs up to the kids and a bit of slow fake clapping the rest of the time

twigolsenisabrat · 29/12/2023 15:40

right hand across your heart and a big smile- would that work. And/or stamping your feet for the sound ?

For what it’s worth I do not notice if people are applauding or not.

Luxell934 · 29/12/2023 15:40

Could you cheer instead? or whistle?

SutWytTi · 29/12/2023 15:41

If it is a kid's performance could you take a sign saying 'brilliant!' or something?

You don't have to do anything IMO, but if you want your child to see you appreciating that might work.