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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should i say anything?

14 replies

Workaholic99 · 29/12/2023 09:39

Recently handed in my noticed to a large global company (HQ in NYC but based from home in the UK) and have received an exit interview form.

I experienced some questionable behaviour including during an internal interview where I was informed, as a white woman, that they were only looking for Afro-Caribbean hires because their experience has been positive with previous Afro-Caribbean hires in the past and that my DD 16m (they directly asked me if i had any family) caused them concerns in my ability to get into the office - they mentioned it on at 3 occasions during 1st and 2nd interview and follow up feedback. ( This role required 3 days in London)

This all happened verbally so I have no written/ physical evidence, only the meeting invites in my calendar as to the dates/time it occurred. I didn't complain at the time of the event (about 3 months ago) as I was looking for a new job and didn't want to damage my chances with complaints/tribunals/disciplinaries/etc on my record. But my AIBU is would it be unreasonable to tell them what happened now that I have secured a new job or is it not worth it?

Also, not that it is overly relevant but my new employer has no such concerns about my ability to get into London which a small child or apparently my race.

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 29/12/2023 09:45

I think you should definitely mention it.

Bluevelvetsofa · 29/12/2023 09:45

Will you benefit from challenging them? Will it change their policies?

Pottedpalm · 29/12/2023 09:46

I didn’t think employers were allowed to ask such questions.

Original poster
Workaholic99 · 29/12/2023 09:51

Pottedpalm · 29/12/2023 09:46

I didn’t think employers were allowed to ask such questions.

As far as i am aware they are not - at least in respect of personal family background etc. They got around the family question by having 'a casual chat' before the interview started. Then used it in the interview.

In respect of the race part, i asked the question, what are they looking for a in prospective hire. thats when they mentioned the race.

OP posts:
SEG152 · 29/12/2023 09:51

mention it. These things don’t change unless people speak up.

Original poster
Workaholic99 · 29/12/2023 09:53

Bluevelvetsofa · 29/12/2023 09:45

Will you benefit from challenging them? Will it change their policies?

Its a good point! And one ive been asking myself lots. No i dont think ill benefit and no i doubt they will change their policies. They are so American when it comes to protecting one race over another whilst spouting about being inclusive and diverse.

OP posts:
Sunflower8848 · 29/12/2023 09:59

Be the change you want to see in the world! Speak up. It won’t do any damage because you are already leaving. It may make them re-think their training of interviewers.

Haveyouanyjam · 29/12/2023 10:11

I would, yes. Totally reasonable if there was a reason why an Afro-Caribbean background was something that would be advantageous in the job for some reason, for them to be transparent about that, and but to say they are looking for someone of a specific race generally is odd. They would also have to state this in the advert. For example, if there is preference for male candidates in certain roles due to working with male patients (or vice versa) they have to say that up front in the advert. I’m all for promoting diversity in the workplace but it’s a strange comment.

The child care part, it’s fine to ask if you would have any difficulties in commuting into London three days per week and child care could be an example, but it’s inappropriate for them to have asked you directly about children or suggest this would be a problem if you confirm it’s not an issue for you.

I would simply mention it, as I imagine it would have put you off the job if you had been offered it.

Minion21 · 29/12/2023 10:14

As another PP said, speak up! If nobody complains, nothing will ever change!

Original poster
Workaholic99 · 29/12/2023 10:16

Haveyouanyjam · 29/12/2023 10:11

I would, yes. Totally reasonable if there was a reason why an Afro-Caribbean background was something that would be advantageous in the job for some reason, for them to be transparent about that, and but to say they are looking for someone of a specific race generally is odd. They would also have to state this in the advert. For example, if there is preference for male candidates in certain roles due to working with male patients (or vice versa) they have to say that up front in the advert. I’m all for promoting diversity in the workplace but it’s a strange comment.

The child care part, it’s fine to ask if you would have any difficulties in commuting into London three days per week and child care could be an example, but it’s inappropriate for them to have asked you directly about children or suggest this would be a problem if you confirm it’s not an issue for you.

I would simply mention it, as I imagine it would have put you off the job if you had been offered it.

I'm inclined to agree but the role is finance based. No need to mention race or gender and there was no mention of either in the internal job advert its a UK based role with no business in the Caribbean.

Ordinarily I'm quite a private person at work and would never have mentioned my DD but the first interviewer was very direct and launched into his own family dynamic after I initially tried to be coy.

OP posts:
Haveyouanyjam · 29/12/2023 10:22

Then yes, definitely mention it to them. It doesn’t need to be a big thing as it may be that they genuinely don’t realise their ignorance here, and you are moving on anyway. If they did hire someone of Afro-Caribbean descent then it could also be insulting to them as may mean they feel they weren’t hired on their merits. They need to be more careful and sensitive, better you tell them and they can increase their awareness than they end up with a lawsuit in future.

Zarah123 · 29/12/2023 10:36

They are so American when it comes to protecting one race over another whilst spouting about being inclusive and diverse.

Yes, the protection white people enjoy is immense.

It seems you have quite the agenda, OP.

Original poster
Workaholic99 · 29/12/2023 10:42

@Zarah123 Threres no agenda however my point is they don't include any race that doesn't fit their image of diversity including Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, French, etc even African if not African American. You get the picture?

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 29/12/2023 12:01

Zarah123 · 29/12/2023 10:36

They are so American when it comes to protecting one race over another whilst spouting about being inclusive and diverse.

Yes, the protection white people enjoy is immense.

It seems you have quite the agenda, OP.

It seems you have an agenda; tje OP was quoting what was said to her

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