What am I supposed to do with my baby when he’s like this? Can’t deal with it anymore

[Whattosoo]

Ds had his one year jabs yesterday. He has been absolutely horrendous since. Non stop crying. Given him calpol, has a slight temperature that has come down a bit. Eating and drinking ok but being so so so horrendous. I am working from home today and work were really understanding that he could be home with me (I don’t have many calls). I’m a single parent, dad abroad at the moment. I can catch up on work tonight but I honestly can’t cope with this stress. When I say it is constant whining I mean whatever I do, it doesn’t stop. I am starting to feel ill with trying to cope with it, I know that sounds ridiculous but I just don’t know what to do

I know you're WFH, but also that you can catch up this evening. I'd wrap him up and go for a walk.

if I was you the wfh would be the real issue stressing me out not the baby. You can’t wfh with a baby. Take the day off and go for a walk and snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film. Enjoy the day xx

Your baby is feeling poorly after jabs - it will be one or two days. You need to look after him and get as much work done as can later and catch up at the weekend if necessary. Many of us have been there. You’re going to need a strategy for when he starts nursery. Mine had four colds, three stomach bugs, two lots of conjunctivitis and one virus similar to chickenpox - in his first three months at nursery.

My DD was like this after the jabs too. My other DCs never had the same reaction.
Took about two nights going to 3 days until she settled back to usual. Do you have Nurofen for children, that can be given to babies from 3 months, that helped my DD a little.

This happened with my baby and it turned out he’d had a cold brewing (hadn’t known the day he got the jabs as no symptoms) so he was absolutely floored. Up literally the whole night crying in distress, then temperature and eventually horrid cold that turned into a chest infection. Could it be that he’s actually unwell on top of the jags? I’d ask work for a carer’s day if you get them. We get a certain number a year to take care of an unwell dependant. Agree with pp who suggested getting out with the pram. Or going a drive to see if he falls asleep in the car if you have one?

@BreadandButterDinners thanks that gives me some hope it will stop soon! It’s honestly non stop whinging with no break. Temperature is normal again now though and he’s eaten and drank. He’s been poorly before but this is just so full on being so irritable. I have neurofen and calpol but only given calpol so far

Phone your boss and say that you need to take the day off as the baby is unwell. He will be feeling awful and just needs you to comfort him all day. You might be able to catch up with work later but he may have an unsettled night so don't count on it.

@Junebug22 thanks what is carers day? Is it paid? Would this be in my contract or do I have to ask?

Your baby is being a normal baby. Yes it is stressful but the problem is trying to work while caring for him.

I think you sound overwhelmed - which I understand - can you take some time off, can someone come to help, can you catch up the work later?

You need a cup of tea and a reset

I agree OP, I think it's near impossible to work and care for a baby (mine were very needy so your baby may be totally fine usually) and after jabs one of mine was always really fussy for a few days. I think you'll make yourself really stressed which might in turn make baby whinge more. Give yourself a break and call work to say you need to take a days leave as baby is unwell. We can get unpaid parental leave for emergencies like this.

I work in education (which does come with a lot of perks like this) so yes, it’s a day of paid leave. Basically it’s like a sick day except you get it to look after someone else who is sick (eg a child or if you are a carer for an elderly relative). It would be worth asking them if anything like that exists. My husband is in the private sector and he gets a similar thing. So far we’ve both had to take a half day because baby had hand foot mouth so nursery couldn’t take him.

Hope you and the baby get some relief too. So hard especially when you’re on your own.

If you have airpods or similar, pop one in one ear and try to tune out whining noise (but still able to hear "proper" distress and able to interact as needed) Take lots of deep breaths and remind yourself it's just a short time.

If you can fill a basin with water and let them play with some bath toys or empty yogurt pots in it or pop them in a bath, I found it's very calming for most kids.
Then wrap up warm and head out for a walk, pram or no pram, just get out there!

Most of all, deep breaths and keep calm.

Ah bless little mite, honestly I think you need a reset of expectations here. It’s normal to feel poorly after those jabs. Give both calpol and ibuprofen and yes out for a walk if they normally enjoy the pram. They may want to sleep longer too. Or Cuddles and put the tv on. But honestly it’s just a tough day or so and then will pass.

Do you have a baby swing? DS was a nightmare after jabs we used to do fed, clean bum, checked on then put him in the swing so he atleast stopped crying. As long as he's okay and his needs are meet I would try and ignore the crying as hard as it is.

Carers’ leave is often paid at manager’s discretion so it depends on your manager and how often you’re off etc.

But the stressor here is attempting to do work while your baby is ill.

Trying to balance work is no doubt making it a million times worse. The 1 year jabs can be brutal (albeit really needed), I'd say to work you need to take a day of parental leave.

I would take a day or at least half a day's leave. I have booked a week of parental next year (unpaid) so I have extra leave. That's really handy to know about if you can afford to do it. My children are 12 and 14 and I have only just discovered it!!

But if he's crying because he's unwell and feeling rubbish they ignoring the crying isnt meeting his needs

It's unrealistic to work from home while in sole care if a sick baby. You need the day off and to attend to comforting your little one.

How about doing something relaxing with them, maybe a warm bath, then cuddle up. Your poor baby must be feeling dreadful to be acting like this, in the nicest way, it's not about you, comfort them. Think about how you feel when you're poorly

You simply can’t work from home whilst looking after a baby, especially an ill baby. So phone and tell your boss you need the day off and go from there.

This is normal op,
I think it's good to think of the 24-48 hours after they have their jabs as entering the twilight zone.
They'll fuss, they'll cry, they'll not want to be put down, or held necessarily.
Every rule about who they normally are will go out of the window.
Have a couple of easy meals lined up because you'll need them.
Forget about housework and everything else that isn't 100% needed in that 24-48 hours.
It can wait, because when it passes, your child's going to be right as rain, and full of beans again, and you'll need any energy you can conserve to keep up.

Just remind yourself, this will be over soon! On repeat!

Alternate calpol and nurofen to dose him up. The more you keep on top of pain relief the less pain is felt rather than a one off dose here and there.

When this has been us we’ve had baby tv on and get out for a walk to break up the day.

Oh, you poor thing. That sounds so hard
I mean, I've been there x3, but must have blocked it out
Hope wee one feels better soon x