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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry at A&E?

434 replies

fashu · 28/12/2023 09:46

I'm currently in hospital A&E, I've been here for 9 and a half hours. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. AIBU for getting upset or should I just suck it up?

At 8pm last night I had the oncoming of a migraine, funny vision, light-headedness etc.
I went to tell my husband and called the midwife, then started having a chat with DH. Mid conversation I started talking nonsense. Instead of car I was was saying mayonnaise, on top of other things I was just talking crap.
I tried to Google the symptoms and I couldn't type either. I couldn't think of what I wanted to write, although I knew what I was doing and when I did think of the words it looked like this 'hdhcjsk'

I panicked a bit and went back to my husband and then I went completely numb on in my hands and my mouth. I panicked and told him to call an ambulance. Ambulance came just over an hour later and said I needed to go to hospital as it sounds like a mini stroke.
Queue major panic mode!

Paramedics called maternity unit they said its not for them but keep them updated.

So I arrived in an ambulance at A&E just after 12am. Went to majors and the triage said to wait in waiting room and they will tell senior doctors.

Well I'm still waiting. 35 weeks pregnant on a hard metal chair. For 9 and a half hours. Panicking that I've had a mini stroke.

I've told the reception and nurses several times that my belly is now hurting from sitting for so long and being awake for 26 hours. I asked for water and they said I had to use the vending machine for a can of coke.
Receptionist told me I'm not poorly enough for a bed or the arm chairs.

I'm so upset, emotional and scared. DH has dropped kids off at my mums now as they were asleep and didn't want to disturb them in the night.

But, am I right to be upset or is this just how it is? Surely a pregnant woman with suspected mini stroke should be left for this long alone without treatment?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
DewHopper · 28/12/2023 11:19

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/12/2023 09:59

And trust me on this - they are doing what they can.

Not sure that anyone would actually trust you on this tbh. A drink of water would have been something but she didn't even get that.

Finteq · 28/12/2023 11:20

mumsytoon · 28/12/2023 11:05

Agree. I'm really hope they take care of you and the baby ow. Horrific that they left you to sit so many hours with a possible stroke and heavily pregnant! Utterly disgusting. FFS, couldn't they have some water at least. This was a huge reason why we opted to go private for my high risk pregnancy.

Show quote history

So the private hospital would have assessed you if you had a suspected stroke?

x2boys · 28/12/2023 11:24

widowtwankywashroom · 28/12/2023 11:18

Probably!
Have you actually any idea how long the wait in A&E is? Maybe get off your high horse and find out what waiting times are.
A 10 hour wait isn't acceptable for anyone? Not just a pregnant woman.

Believe me, if at triage her symptoms, history were indicative of a stoke then she would have been in resus and CT'd before you could blink.

Show quote history

I have to agree my son collapsed at home Last February the ambulance got there within minutes and he wss assessed as being in severe DKA ( we had no idea he was diabetic) obviously being a life threatening condition he was rushed to A&E and straight through to resus , endless in critical care within an hour
That doesn't make long wait times acceptable but priorities has to be given to those most in need.

x2boys · 28/12/2023 11:26

LodiDodi · 28/12/2023 11:09

It doesn't surprise me, I was on one of those chairs for 18 hours when I had kidney damage. They are a farce
, I hope you've never voted conservative because if you have you have no right to complain.

Grow up🙄

Spirallingdownwards · 28/12/2023 11:27

Unless you were still displaying symptoms you would no longer be in the at risk of stroke or TIA category and join the general queue. Have been through this myself.

In actuality what you describe does sound more like a severe migraine or vertigo.

Yes it's awful that you couldn't be made more comfortable as someone who was 35 weeks pregnant.

Lancasterel · 28/12/2023 11:28

This sounds awful, you poor thing, please start - or get your husband to start - making more of a fuss.

A&E seems to have fallen apart in the past few months. Have been a few times in the last 10 years with the kids, my DH has been a couple of times on his own, and each time it’s been 1/2 hours max to triage and get treatment. Took my 7 year old DD a couple of weeks ago after she hit her head at school and began to get some worrying symptoms… we waited 9 hours until nearly midnight and staff seemed genuinely surprised when I asked for a glass of water for her 😢

I am able to compare it to past experiences and it was so much worse…. not enough staff and not enough staff who seemed to care about the well-being of a small, scared, tired child. We normally sing the praises of our local NHS/hospital services but not anymore … made me quite sad that chirpy enough adults (who can handle being up a bit later!!) took priority over the several children waiting on uncomfy chairs. Totally different to previous visits 😢

Nanny0gg · 28/12/2023 11:28

LodiDodi · 28/12/2023 11:09

It doesn't surprise me, I was on one of those chairs for 18 hours when I had kidney damage. They are a farce
, I hope you've never voted conservative because if you have you have no right to complain.

ODFOD

tokesqueen · 28/12/2023 11:29

Cloudysky81 · 28/12/2023 10:26

This is how UK ED departments have been for at least 18 months now. It should be a national disgrace, but we seem to have accepted it as a new normal.

Unfortunately you’re in the waiting room because there are people sicker then you who need the beds more at the current time.

It’s not good medicine and the staff involved are not happy they are having to deliver care like this, but it is the reality in the UK at the moment. It’s one of the many reasons I left to go overseas.

Not necessarily true. Many many beds are full of older people waiting on care home places who are perfectly fit for discharge. Or insisting on going home to unsuitable living circumstances who won't pay for carers and will fall and be back in within a month.

LottieandLisa · 28/12/2023 11:30

Just because a 12 hour wait is nothing new, it doesn’t make it ok

munchmagic · 28/12/2023 11:30

@x2boys "grow up"? It was a very fair point. Anyone voting conservative and complaining about NHS has no leg to stand on. How anyone can vote them and have any semblance of a clear conscience is deeply concerning. But by all means throw around playground comments and miss that point.

OP I sincerely hope you are ok and feeling better soon. Good to hear you've been admitted now and hope you and baby stay safe.

Brandyginger · 28/12/2023 11:31

Not sure how the Tories can be blamed for this particular hospital not having the wherewithal to arrange a free water dispenser in a&e or plastic jugs and paper cups or even the premises manager letting one of the soft drink companies install a soft drink vending machine with water bottles.One or more of those three options are available at the 5 London hospital a&e’s that I am in and out of. Some things really are just down to poor management and - critically - will be addressed if enough people complain to the hospital.

OP I’m really sorry you’ve been through this. It seems like you were triaged as needing to be seen by a neurologist and have an mri but not being acute enough for this to happen out of hours. They probably spoke to the on call neuro who said they’d see you during the day. The key issue is the nurse who couldn’t use their initiative to procure you a more comfortable chair : it WOULD have been possible, again not down to the Tories. Again - complain, and things will be acted on (eventually).

I work in the NHS and so much of this is down to local management, not national government.

PostItInABook · 28/12/2023 11:31

widowtwankywashroom · 28/12/2023 11:18

Probably!
Have you actually any idea how long the wait in A&E is? Maybe get off your high horse and find out what waiting times are.
A 10 hour wait isn't acceptable for anyone? Not just a pregnant woman.

Believe me, if at triage her symptoms, history were indicative of a stoke then she would have been in resus and CT'd before you could blink.

Show quote history

I disagree. Strokes with atypical or subtle presentation get mistriaged more than you might think.

DewHopper · 28/12/2023 11:32

LottieandLisa · 28/12/2023 11:30

Just because a 12 hour wait is nothing new, it doesn’t make it ok

THIS. We are so bloody passive in this country and accept things that we should not accept and have a go at people who point out that it is not ok. I don't know what the answer is but we cannot carry on like this.

x2boys · 28/12/2023 11:32

Lancasterel · 28/12/2023 11:28

This sounds awful, you poor thing, please start - or get your husband to start - making more of a fuss.

A&E seems to have fallen apart in the past few months. Have been a few times in the last 10 years with the kids, my DH has been a couple of times on his own, and each time it’s been 1/2 hours max to triage and get treatment. Took my 7 year old DD a couple of weeks ago after she hit her head at school and began to get some worrying symptoms… we waited 9 hours until nearly midnight and staff seemed genuinely surprised when I asked for a glass of water for her 😢

I am able to compare it to past experiences and it was so much worse…. not enough staff and not enough staff who seemed to care about the well-being of a small, scared, tired child. We normally sing the praises of our local NHS/hospital services but not anymore … made me quite sad that chirpy enough adults (who can handle being up a bit later!!) took priority over the several children waiting on uncomfy chairs. Totally different to previous visits 😢

You do realize they Triage patients ??
Its not about adults taking priority over child its about who is in most need ,which unless you have access to their medical notes you have no idea whose in most need .

NerdyIsMyMiddleName · 28/12/2023 11:33

Your in cloud cuckoo land if you think it will be any better under labour
There have always Been long waits in A&Ed unless it's immediately life-threatening ,
Obviously its not a great scenario and its.complicated further by the Op being heavily pregnant but its not a first come first served service

Not actually true - I was working for the NHS when we had a Labour government, there was a 4 hour target to be seen, and most A+E depts hit those targets 90+% of the time, or they were penalised. But then, that was in the time when they were properly staffed, properly audited, and the staff were treated like the professionals they are.

This government has long since abandoned those targets (and Covid was just the icing on the cake, it was happening way before that!).

The staff that are left are accused of all sorts of things, but it's not their fault, and at least they're there to see you eventually, despite desperate working conditions and increasingly poor pay.

DewHopper · 28/12/2023 11:33

Brandyginger · 28/12/2023 11:31

Not sure how the Tories can be blamed for this particular hospital not having the wherewithal to arrange a free water dispenser in a&e or plastic jugs and paper cups or even the premises manager letting one of the soft drink companies install a soft drink vending machine with water bottles.One or more of those three options are available at the 5 London hospital a&e’s that I am in and out of. Some things really are just down to poor management and - critically - will be addressed if enough people complain to the hospital.

OP I’m really sorry you’ve been through this. It seems like you were triaged as needing to be seen by a neurologist and have an mri but not being acute enough for this to happen out of hours. They probably spoke to the on call neuro who said they’d see you during the day. The key issue is the nurse who couldn’t use their initiative to procure you a more comfortable chair : it WOULD have been possible, again not down to the Tories. Again - complain, and things will be acted on (eventually).

I work in the NHS and so much of this is down to local management, not national government.

Excellent post.

DyslexicPoster · 28/12/2023 11:35

PostItInABook · 28/12/2023 11:13

What a ridiculous statement. Everyone has a right to complain regardless of their political preferences.

Things weren’t much better under the labour government either. We still waited for hours. No government will be able to fix the NHS until they accept it needs a longer term plan than the 4 year election cycle which they fill with sticking plaster government policies that have no long term impact.

Show quote history

Yes I hate these kind of statements. Politicians lie. All of them. Do you need a dictatorship with labour in charge? With no opposition? I hate politics. Full of public school boy greedy narcissistic upper class twats. But you need someone to vote for everyone. Or do we really look at Russia with envy? They sure to god are laughing with their monotone votes.

Newsflash. Labour will premise you the world on a plate and deliver shite on a stick too.

Agiftandacurse · 28/12/2023 11:35

The maternity unit should have accepted you in the first place. No wonder A&E is so overwhelmed! Normally maternity units are walk in?

x2boys · 28/12/2023 11:37

munchmagic · 28/12/2023 11:30

@x2boys "grow up"? It was a very fair point. Anyone voting conservative and complaining about NHS has no leg to stand on. How anyone can vote them and have any semblance of a clear conscience is deeply concerning. But by all means throw around playground comments and miss that point.

OP I sincerely hope you are ok and feeling better soon. Good to hear you've been admitted now and hope you and baby stay safe.

You also need to grow up
The NHS has many problems and has done for years if you think labour will. magically solve these issues then you are sadly mistaken
It needs a complete overhaul which no party is willing to do
So quit bitching,at people becsuse they don't vote the way you think they should

IMustDoMoreExercise · 28/12/2023 11:38

DyslexicPoster · 28/12/2023 11:35

Yes I hate these kind of statements. Politicians lie. All of them. Do you need a dictatorship with labour in charge? With no opposition? I hate politics. Full of public school boy greedy narcissistic upper class twats. But you need someone to vote for everyone. Or do we really look at Russia with envy? They sure to god are laughing with their monotone votes.

Newsflash. Labour will premise you the world on a plate and deliver shite on a stick too.

Show quote history

Agree and anyone here who is complaining about politicians should ask themselves why there are not prepared to stand as an MP and yet expect other decent people to do so?

There are no qualifications required to stand as an MP so why isn't anyone complaining on here doing so?

It is very easy to complain but a lot harder to sort out the NHS. Put your money where your mouth is.

Lancasterel · 28/12/2023 11:38

x2boys · 28/12/2023 11:32

You do realize they Triage patients ??
Its not about adults taking priority over child its about who is in most need ,which unless you have access to their medical notes you have no idea whose in most need .

Show quote history

Yes of course I realise. I also know they operate a waiting system based on arrival time, as the nurses showed it to me a couple of times and told me what number on the list we were.

At what point does common sense take over and someone thinks, maybe we’ll try and get the younger children bumped up the list a bit, so they can go home? I know as an adult I would understand waiting a bit longer. And not everyone at A&E needs to be there absolutely, as we all know (in fact we were there for this reason too!) that it is nowadays almost impossible to see a GP at short notice and they will, more often than not, redirect you to A&E. The system is broken.

Fraaahnces · 28/12/2023 11:40

Very pleased you’ve finally been seen and are in the safest place. You must be utterly exhausted.

x2boys · 28/12/2023 11:40

NerdyIsMyMiddleName · 28/12/2023 11:33

Your in cloud cuckoo land if you think it will be any better under labour
There have always Been long waits in A&Ed unless it's immediately life-threatening ,
Obviously its not a great scenario and its.complicated further by the Op being heavily pregnant but its not a first come first served service

Not actually true - I was working for the NHS when we had a Labour government, there was a 4 hour target to be seen, and most A+E depts hit those targets 90+% of the time, or they were penalised. But then, that was in the time when they were properly staffed, properly audited, and the staff were treated like the professionals they are.

This government has long since abandoned those targets (and Covid was just the icing on the cake, it was happening way before that!).

The staff that are left are accused of all sorts of things, but it's not their fault, and at least they're there to see you eventually, despite desperate working conditions and increasingly poor pay.

I was also working for he NHS when we had a Labour government and wasn't all sunshine and rainbows under them
I was also redeployed twice in 12 months between 2005 -2006 due to cuts ....

Riley1989 · 28/12/2023 11:41

Hey, I’m sorry you have experience this! I just wanted to message to say that I had exactly this about 5x during my pregnancy with my daughter and again they thought it was mini strokes and I was referred to the stroke clinic who done a brain MRI (had to sign a waiver as I was pregnant) but I wasn’t having mini strokes I was having hemiplegic migraines! The present exactly the same as mini strokes! Absolutely terrifying! My daughter is now 2 and I have only had 1 more episode of hemiplegic migraines so it was all to do with my hormones as i didn’t have high blood pressure or anything during pregnancy! I hope you get to the bottom of it all and get home for some rest soon. I just wanted to reassure you that I had the same and it wasn’t mini strokes for me xxx