To have felt patronised by this

[Tootsey11]

I'm a cleaner, and this occurred in the last house cleaned before Xmas break.

I was a few minutes from being finished, just mopping last floor when owners came back. Said they had been rushing to get back as no payment had been left and they didn't want to miss me. This is normal by the way, I have to wait on one of them turning up with payment on each clean, usually at the end of the clean.

Anyway, payment was set on worktop, I was getting my cleaning stuff together, taken out to car, I saw they needed change so left the £4 on the worktop and wished them a Merry Christmas. Went out to get into car when the woman came after me and said here Tootsey, "take that" and pushed the 4 pound coins into my hand and said "a wee bit of money for Christmas for ya".

This is someone about 20 years younger than me. I felt patronised and small. They seemed awkward in the house and I felt as if they wanted me out as quickly as possible.

How would you have felt if someone had done that to you?

I'd say the money needs to be there before you start clean in future.

I'd just accept she is a bit odd

@KingsleyBorder I think half pay is a bit tight - we always gave an extra weeks payment, but I'm sure some don't give any sort of gift.
Of course OP it's patronising to say it like you are some little schoolgirl. But they seem not very organised and maybe uncomfortable with the whole idea of having a cleaner. Just put it down to that and forget about it.

I don’t understand how people are not seeing it as patronising - the way it was pressed into her hand like you’d do to a small child and calling it “a wee bit of Christmas money”. It’s not that OP was looking for more, it’s the way it was done as if she’s a child.

Absolutely. But it’s possible that pps have a point in that they’re not comfortable with having a cleaner, and are not dealing well with that discomfort. It’s outrageous that they don’t leave he money for the OP at the beginning of her hours, though — they need to be more organised, and the OP should never be finishing off her clean and wondering whether someone is going to show up with her money.

We have a fortnightly clean and we always add a bonus equivalent to the cost of a full clean so our cleaner, who is great, can afford to take things a bit easier at Christmas

When I was a cleaner it was always the most difficult/demanding/dirtiest clients that gave no Xmas bonus or an insulting one like your OP.

In January I always put their rates up more than the nicer clients. They would grumble but never replaced me. The extra pay over the year unwittingly (for them) paid me a nice bonus

Just to say this client, I would say anyway is certainly not backward or socially awkward. I've seen her out, she's loud, chatty and clearly an extrovert. They've had cleaners before. But yes she is very demanding and leaves notes constantly, make sure you do this and I want a thorough clean, scrub my shower with toothbrush etc.

I am a fully booked up cleaner and no other client has any issues. All other clients left me double or near double pay. But as I said it's not the amount it's how it was done. Running out of the house when I was just about to get into the car and pushing it into my hand was belittling to me. Is that how people really think of those that clear up after them.

Is that how people really think of those that clear up after them.

In my experience, yes, it's pretty common. I had some clients who were lovely and became friends (went to their DC christening etc). I had others who seemed to be playing the cliched/stereotypical role of the rich housewife in the US with a mexican maid.

DM and I ran a cleaning business together for a while. One couple were what you would call eccentric. House full to the brim with dusty clutter, multiple cats asleep on kitchen worktops, every inch of the kitchen greasy every single time we went in. They were civil but not friendly. The only time they were remotely interested in conversation with us was when bragging about another buy to let they'd bought, or showing us pics of their latest holiday.

Every time we went there, it was bloody hard work to get it clean. One Christmas, the woman of the couple handed me a card (lovely) and a patronising smile, 'got a little bonus in there for you both'...

Little is right. A tenner between us. I'm sure I'll be berated here for not being 'grateful' but their house was always so grimy it was one of those you'd come home, strip off, put a wash straight on and have a shower. A fiver to 'show appreciation' for that level of grim was more insulting than nothing at all.

To be blunt, I think your age is making you overreact here. Who cares if she’s younger than you, or an extrovert, or wants a show home or whatever. It seems like they intended to take out £X amount of cash
for you and didn’t really want change - maybe they wanted to give you the entire value of the note as a Christmas uplift perhaps. hence saying to take this and giving you the change back, intended as a nice gesture. I wouldnt read more into
it. If the client isn’t working
out, then just stop cleaning their house and find new clients

That would annoy me too OP. I'd have little respect for this woman.

However, if possible the best way to deal with it, once you've got it off your chest is to try not to give it any more headspace. She won't know it's (understandably) bothering you, so by continuing to dwell on it you're hurting yourself while she carries on as thoughtlessly as normal. I totally get that this is easier than said than done but really, try not to let this woman get under your skin. She isn't worth it and you're worth so much more.

That is one of the reasons why I never leave a tip. I think they are patronising and infantalizing. It's a bit like giving you a pat on the head and a lollipop for being a good girl/boy. I detest the tipping culture generally.