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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family issues

1 reply

Isabella40 · 27/12/2023 22:43

We last saw my parents in May they are retired and live an hour away. They have always done things to suit themselves and it's hard to talk to them. They show very little interest in their granddaughters. If they visit they would just sit on our sofa.
I have made less effort with my parents this year I work full time my daughters are busy with school work/extra curricular activities. Both are at important stages in their education. We have very little time spare to visit my parents.
I've noticed when my girls talk to my mum she doesn't really listen to them and one of my daughters noticed conversations are very negative!!!
We decided to stay at home for Christmas as we don't get chance to as a family very often. We invited my parents up for Boxing Day but they declined as they were going to see my nephew as that was the only day they could see him. My parents appear to have a favourite grandchild!!!
My mum messaged me a few weeks ago saying she hadn't seen my girls for ages. I couldn't respond as they know where we live!!! In the past we have found out they have been past our area to go away even staying only 15 mins away from us without visiting.
I think my dad might be upset with me as he didn't speak on the phone to us over Christmas. My youngest struggles a lot has additional needs and they don't understand she needs lots of support. She is upset with them too.
I just don't know how to fix this they won't change my daughters are my priority and both need me. My husband is very frustrated with them but says they will never change!!!!
The longer we don't see them the harder it's getting I do feel a bit guilty but I have friends who understand me and say my parents should make more of an effort as they have a lot more time on their hands!!!

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 28/12/2023 07:43

If they’d already made plans for Boxing Day, then they can’t be expected to change them for you, especially as there was only that day available.
And they may have virtually gone past your house in the past, but you say yourself that you and the kids are busy, so maybe they don’t bother asking as they know that.

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