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Original poster

... To hate Christmas week

27 replies

ItWasneaMe · 27/12/2023 19:55

I'm bored, we don't see anyone and everyone else seems to be going out to lightshows or for long country walks and to see friends and family. We have family we hardly ever see, no one comes to visit us, we don't 'do' anything and tbh I'd rather be at work, but the office closes between Christmas and New Year.

We have 3 adult children still living at home (1 is at uni, but back for the holidays) & I just wish we could organise something without having to get everyone's buy in all the time. I go off running with my dog every couple of days, to get out of the house, but that's it.

Does anyone else have boring do nothing Christmases and am I feeling guilty (for not organising lots of 'social' things) unnecessarily?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 27/12/2023 19:57

I, like you, feel that I should be organising these things. But it’s pressure from SM, my parents certainly didn’t entertain me, I was expected to play with my new toys and not bother them.

SecondHandFurniture · 27/12/2023 19:58

I don't like it either. I worked 27th-31st in my last job and quite enjoyed it!

The 29th or so is the worst. Our 5 year old is stir crazy and DH and I have both been ill so no family visits. It's not like we want to be spending loads on days out!

trader21c · 27/12/2023 19:59

After years of working either Christmas or NY I am loving the space to do my own things

Catza · 27/12/2023 20:00

Nothing stops you from planning things just for yourself or for you as a couple. Kids don't need to be involved since they are grown up.
I am going to see an obscure film tomorrow after a yoga class. I took my dog on a long country walk yesterday. I don't need to ask anyone to buy into what I want to do the same way they don't need to ask me to buy into their time on a sofa.

Hayliebells · 27/12/2023 20:00

Surely you could organise all those things? Go on a long country walk, it could just be you and your dog, or you and your DH, your DCs don't need to come if they don't want to. You could invite the family you do have round to visit, or visit them. I don't particularly like this period either, I don't like the lack of routine. But tbh I'd quite happily spend all my time on long country walks with my dog (it's the family events/hosting that get in the way !) and I can't see how that takes any organisation at all really.

tescocreditcard · 27/12/2023 20:01

I don't understand why you don't invite people round if your bored.

Or you could just go on holiday for that gap. Holidays called "Twixtmas" (27-30 December) are incredibly popular.

5128gap · 27/12/2023 20:04

I have adult DC too. When I fancy going somewhere this week, or indeed anytime, I just say 'they've a so and so at such and such, anyone fancy it?' There's usually at least one taker for a walk, NT property, bowling, cinema, shopping. Everyone doesn't have to buy in to everything. One on one time with your different family members is lovely and if you suggest varied enough activities you're bound to get some interest from some one.

NahHumBrag · 27/12/2023 20:06

I bloody love it.

My Christmas started today; a Twixmas week of wine, meat, cheese and trifle respite after caring / creating Christmas for very elderly and much loved parents. They have theirs (which I am happy to give them). I come home (and am mildly pissed!)

Baldieheid · 27/12/2023 20:07

I don't mind some down time and I'm really enjoying a couple of days with no visitors or having to go anywhere. But we're going out for local walks in our village, popping into the local pub, bumping into friends and neighbours. We're also making lots of Internet phone calls to family and friends elsewhere in the world. Those timezones are awkward beggars if you're working next day but right now, it's not an issue.

I'm considering jumping on a bus to the nearest city tomorrow, depending on the weather, for a mooch around and lunch.

Can you arrange a meet up with a few friends?

Townhouselights · 27/12/2023 20:11

If you'd like to be doing things, perhaps you could organise more? Book a show, ask some friends over? If you don't like it being quiet, you could make more of an effort to be busy? I like a mixture of quiet days and socialising, so that's what I arrange.

SkyBlueBoy · 27/12/2023 20:12

You can still go for a walk, go to a light show, go to the cinema , go to bingo, go on a mini break.

But the fact you've said "everyone else seems to be going out" makes me think you only want to go and do all this to take photos with all the family so you can compete on the social media merry go round.

You can go and do anything you like, just go for it 👌

Newchapterbeckons · 27/12/2023 20:14

Do what you want to do. Go shopping and out for lunch. Watch a film. Theatre visit. Spring clean or decorate your house. A gallery visit. Invite everyone and whoever comes comes. It sounds like you are still in parenting / entertaining mode but no longer need to be.

RM2013 · 27/12/2023 20:16

I was back at work today but felt cross that we didn’t do anything special yesterday. I went on a long dog walk just me and the dog. Eldest DS was working, youngest DS was hiding in his room all day and DH watching football and playing games console. By the time I rounded everyone up to watch a film it was late and I fell asleep halfway through the film so had a bit of a rant that everyone apart from us was doing lovely Boxing Day family things

confusedlots · 27/12/2023 20:19

Why not bite the bullet and invite some people round? We moved to a new area a
a couple of years ago and I've found it difficult making new connections, but Christmas is such a great excuse for inviting people round for some drinks or food.

I've really warmed to the mum of a girl who joined my son's class a year or so ago, and I know she lives very close to me, so I just decided on Christmas Eve to send her a last minute invitation for some mulled wine and nibbles for the kids. She was delighted and we all had such a great time, and I actually think it might be the start of a good friendship. It might have felt odd at another time of year to reach out to her, but Christmas is such a good reason!

And I had really lost touch with a good friend from where we used to live since we moved, and I got in contact with her and she is coming to visit us tomorrow, for the first time in ages, and I am so pleased.

It's given me a real lift, so my advice would be to reach out and invite a few people round or arrange to meet up over the next week or two.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/12/2023 20:22

I nearly always work at least some of this period, as it seems to always work out this way with kids contact with their dad (so the way the days fall, even though we rotate Christmas I nearly always have some child free time in this block).

The we’re going away from Friday over new year which I’m looking forward to!

Ifancythegrinch · 27/12/2023 20:28

Yes. It’s always really boring and lonely, it’s just me, dh
and the kids. Don’t get me wrong, we make the
most of the national trust passes, but everyone else is always so busy with family and friends.

We know a few people we’ve met though the children, but when ever we try to arrange meet ups, or a party, or dinner, everyone is so busy with family or friends and can’t make it.

”Oh you know how busy christmas is!”

Nope! Not at all!

Newchapterbeckons · 27/12/2023 20:31

Ifancythegrinch · 27/12/2023 20:28

Yes. It’s always really boring and lonely, it’s just me, dh
and the kids. Don’t get me wrong, we make the
most of the national trust passes, but everyone else is always so busy with family and friends.

We know a few people we’ve met though the children, but when ever we try to arrange meet ups, or a party, or dinner, everyone is so busy with family or friends and can’t make it.

”Oh you know how busy christmas is!”

Nope! Not at all!

Maybe it’s time to find a tribe of your own in the new year unrelated to dc if need be.

TeenLifeMum · 27/12/2023 20:36

We decided to be more social this year and have friends coming tomorrow and different friends for New Year’s Eve. We’re exhausted 😬🤣 enjoying it but I’ll collapse on 1 January and stay in pjs! I’m working this week from home but it’s all a bit pointless as it’s so quiet so not seeing colleagues. I quite like the blurry time between Christmas and nye, but it’s what you make of it.

Original poster
ItWasneaMe · 27/12/2023 20:37

Trouble is that my closest friends moved a long way away last year and my extended family are very scattered. My DH likes to do things on the spur of the moment and every year I say I'll plan things in advance and chicken out.

Maybe next year I'll book a holiday in the sun somewhere for Xmas?

OP posts:
Southlondoner88 · 27/12/2023 20:38

I’m bored too but a different kind of bored as I’m doing a PhD and currently writing an essay.. I would love a country walk over this any day lol!

Townhouselights · 27/12/2023 20:41

ItWasneaMe · 27/12/2023 20:37

Trouble is that my closest friends moved a long way away last year and my extended family are very scattered. My DH likes to do things on the spur of the moment and every year I say I'll plan things in advance and chicken out.

Maybe next year I'll book a holiday in the sun somewhere for Xmas?

That could be a nice way to use your time off if your office is closed anyway! It is hard if your friends are far away. Could you maybe visit one of them another year?

LimeCheesecake · 27/12/2023 20:45

Oh you’ve got a spur of the moment person who then doesn’t actually organise anything on the spur of the moment and/or suddenly decides it’s be great to go to the theatre/light show/have people over, only to discover the tickets that went on sale in September are all sold out/ friends have made plans already with other people.

organise stuff yourself.

something for tomorrow - have a look at local theatre if there’s panto tickets tomorrow, or if you have an ice rink near you and can all go ice skating (actually pretty good fun with teens). Then just say to the teens “oh I completely forgot I booked tickets for xxx tomorrow ages ago. Shall we go for dinner before hand/lunch after?”

Next year either book lots of little things in or book a couple of nights away between Christmas and new year for you all. But book things. Accept the “spur of the moment” approach means being bored and just organise.

Newchapterbeckons · 27/12/2023 20:50

You sound lethargic - maybe because you are actually very tired and need to relax but feel restless? Our society is always ‘on’ and it takes a while to wind down sufficiently and chill out at home.

idontlikealdi · 27/12/2023 21:28

I'd rather work and roll the holiday over or take earlier in the year. Just started at a new
Firm that has compulsory leave

SecondHandFurniture · 28/12/2023 06:47

Newchapterbeckons · 27/12/2023 20:14

Do what you want to do. Go shopping and out for lunch. Watch a film. Theatre visit. Spring clean or decorate your house. A gallery visit. Invite everyone and whoever comes comes. It sounds like you are still in parenting / entertaining mode but no longer need to be.

This is it exactly. I'm in "parent/entertainer" mode. If it was me, DH, books, coffee and lie-ins - happy days! I assume DS will be out with mates in 2033.