Next Christmas...how to make it better

[JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots]

I'm sure I saw a thread about things you'll do differently next year but I can't find it.

This Christmas has been lovely at times but generally a lot of preparation, a lot of food, a lot of money, a lot of presents and it's just not worth it. Next year I want it to be different but I don't know how.

I'm a single parent of 3 dc and a carer for my disabled mum. 2 dc (teens) go to their dad's at some point over Christmas (usually part way through Christmas Day to today) and he gets to see more of them than I do. I hate that. It ends up just being me and ds (8) at home most of the time. My mum goes to my sister's for Boxing Day. It's just a bit pants.

I bought loads of food in and the teens decided to go to their dad's so lots has been wasted. I've frozen what I could but there's lots of waste so I'm not buying as much next year.

Their gifts were met with a lack of enthusiasm except for a couple of things.

It all seems a waste of time and effort and money.

I admit to having the post Christmas blues today but how can I do things differently? If you had a similar experience what are you doing differently next year?

I have thought about going away but I'm not sure if I'd like that plus the money is a huge factor.

We are all ND (probably all, definitely most) and find it really overwhelming but I want it all to be great and put too much pressure on myself.

I might just need a virtual slap to get me out of this funk.

I'm off to play with my Lego 😁 and plot next Christmas.

Don't get a cold
Don't block the toilet with tissues and toilet paper from aforementioned cold
Especially don't go for a number 2 after throwing a load of used tissues/toilet paper down the toilet
I'm still waiting for Christmas to begin in part because it's never really got going from Christmas day cos i'm still ill as.

Surely the DC could choose the presents for you if 2 of them are teens? You seem to be taking on the mental and physical load for everything and whilst I get you being a single parent you don't have back up but your DC are not babies. Being ND doesn't mean they cannot choose presents. Buy way less food and scale down on presents if money is an issue. Can you go out for a meal with them Christmas Eve if the DC go to their dads Christmas Day and maybe open presents then and have a quiet Christmas morning.

Next year I am buying more budget gifts. I didn’t spend hundreds on each present, but it really adds up, so will be more careful next year

The problem was having to wait until I was paid, and then doing everything in a rush

We were supposed to have a relaxed Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day with immediate family

Instead we had visitors who refused to be put off on Christmas Eve, and didn’t leave until late, and visitors on Christmas Day

Next year we would like to go away, and who knows, maybe we will.

Even if it was a mile down the road, we could say it was much further.

This Christmas Day was supposed to be the first one just me, DH and the kids. I was really looking forward to 'having it my way' I was talked into putting on a buffet Christmas eve for DH side of the family. Fine I went with it at least I would still get the Christmas day I wanted. How wrong was I. Just after 12pm whilst still in my pjs and tit deep in cooking the dinner my eldest announces DFIL and his wife are on the way. Dh was in bed after not coping with the early morning present opening. I shot upstairs and asked him why his father was on the way when we said no guests. He just looked at me blankly and I knew it wasn't worth the argument. I calmly took myself back downstairs. Turned off the oven, hobs and abandoned dinner. We had turkey sandwiches in the evening. The kids actually loved it and wouldn't stop talking about how novel it was. Dh was happy with it too and FIL and SMIL actually ended up cheering me up after a tough year. I learned that it's me that breaks my back trying to give everyone a good Christmas and they don't actually care, my presence is enough. We ate the rest of the abandoned dinner today so we didn't waste anything and it was stoll delicious and much more relaxed. Next year we're having Turkey sandwiches again with a lot 'less' trying to please everyone. Not forcing the Christmas movies or the experiences, everyone can do as they please and if they want to do something with me, I am here and they can suggest it. I'm really looking forward to next year.

This sounds ideal.
We tried to have a relaxed day and meal, it was ok, costly but not the best

Other people spoilt our time, and the presents I had to buy, are a source of regret really. Too much expense
The swapping of wine .
I’d rather we didn’t. I don’t need the wine, and resent having to buy loads to give away

Honestly I just love it. It helps that noone like sturdy so why bother. So this year I got beer battered fish for £2.50, a Brussels sprouts gratin for £2 and some sweetcorn broccoli and peas veg mix for £1.50 and a pinch packet for 99p and that fed all of us. It was super tasty and took 30mims to make using the airfryer 😆

I definitely recommend it esp stopping the present buying. My sister and I used to just swap cash but then I'd give her £50 and she would do the same in the end we are like literally whats the point lol

I sont even do it with my mates no bfay presents either just time with them doing something is more than enough.

I always livd by the fact time is.slmetjing you can never buy more of. For anyone to spend their time with you is far more valuable than anything you can buy on earth.

I think it would be better if I didn't have to share any part of the day with my exH. I'm
Always conscious that the dds will be leaving at some point so I don't relax.
The main meal didn't cost much at all, it's all the chocolate and crisps and buffet thins for Christmas Eve and Boxing Day and not much of it got eaten in the end so next year I will buy much less. I've just opened our supposedly extra special luxury Yule log and it's dry.
I think next year there'll be less spent on food and presents and I'll try to take dc away somewhere for a night or two. We love a premier inn and the beach.
I'm going to speak to dc and see what they would like to be different.