Me and cousin are same age (34) and were often quite competitive as children about birthdays/ milestones etc the usual but in a friendly way, sometimes sizing each other up a bit or comparing although I grew out of this long ago. We've also had a few falling outs over the years where we didn't speak for a while or drifted apart. Eg aged 22 I voiced concern about a partner of hers who seemed abusive and was cut off by her. We had different views on Brexit in. Our lives took different paths and we're just not that close anymore.
Fast forward to 2023 and were both in stable long term relationships. Myself and husband had first DC this year in June. I hadn't heard from cousin for a long while but we were on speaking / friendly terms and she wanted to meet to see baby and introduce her long term partner. We did and it was nice to see them but she spent most of the time talking about their baby plans, asking me about how health system works - what names they picked out etc and great detail about their future baby's life which seems all planned out.
Afterwards she text to say how great it was to see us and how our relationship was healing after the ups and downs of the years etc. I took this as a signal to stay in touch more and tried to do this a few times but she didn't seem that bothered. One word replies and always me initiating.
I feel like - just like competitive milestone stuff as kids - she just wanted to see me because I'd had baby first, something she was meticulously planning herself. Like she was sussing it all out (she asked loads of Qs). She talked non stop about her own plans then I've not heard from her since (this was in August) despite trying to get convo going (she lives far away so meeting up not possible often).
Aibu to think she's not genuinely interested in me or my family and to just give up trying? Was she just meeting up to compare (like we did as kids) or take notes? Or am I being really negative and defeatist?
I got a two word reply to my Xmas message so this whole issue has come up for me again.