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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

No Christmas presents for the little ones?

21 replies

Havingablast · 27/12/2023 15:38

I have my niece and nephew coming over for a visit tomorrow, they each have two children (2 - 12 years old range). Thinking it would be nice for the children to have a present to open for the day, I ordered each one a small gift from a well-known retailer. Now, having read some of the threads about parents who are tearing their hair out at well-meaning people who give their children "loads of plastic and tat and we don't have the space for it all" - I suddenly wondered if I should cancel the orders for the gifts as a) Christmas Day itself has passed and b) to avoid giving more, from the parents' perspectives, unwanted tat.

So would I be AIBU not to give them presents?

OP posts:

EmptyYoghurtPot · 27/12/2023 15:41

Might be unwanted tat from parents point of view but I’m sure the children would appreciate it. I’d give the gifts

Namechangedagain20 · 27/12/2023 15:42

I would give them the gifts, I don’t actually know anyone who actually complains about their kids getting too many gifts unless it’s because one relative (usually grandparents) have gone overboard with them. One small gift each isn’t going to be a problem.

AmazingDayz · 27/12/2023 15:43

I’ve only ever seen this said on mumsnet. Anyone else irl would find it rude if you didn’t get their kids gifts for Xmas and birthdays

Sirzy · 27/12/2023 15:43

Give the gifts

Lweji · 27/12/2023 15:46

There´s people and there´s auntie.
They will probably be miffed if you don´t give their children a present. Just ensure they are very free to exchange it for something else if they like.
And the 12 year old would notice it, for sure.

Rudolphtherednoseddog · 27/12/2023 15:47

Unless it’s absolutely massive and/or completely age inappropriate (thinking of the year a well meaning distant relative bought my tiny baby a ride on pedal powered toy that wouldn’t fit in the car to bring home…) I’m sure they’d be grateful.

Don’t second guess yourself, it’s lovely you’ve thought of the children and your niece and nephew will appreciate that. People on here just enjoy complaining.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 27/12/2023 15:48

If you want to give them a small gift then do so.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/12/2023 15:48

Definitely give the gifts. It’s only a few odd people on here complaining that their kids get presents. OK, something enormous that wouldn’t fit in the house isn’t very considerate but a small gift is normal and kind.

WhateverMate · 27/12/2023 15:49

If I ever started living my life by Mumsnet 'rules', I'd disconnect my internet forever.

Just give them the gifts.

CecilyP · 27/12/2023 15:50

If it’s one small present each, it will be fine. It will be appreciated to have something at yours. It’s when one giver goes overboard that the problems arise.

WhateverMate · 27/12/2023 15:50

Plus you've got to remember that some people only bother posting when they've got something to moan about.

There's a silent majority out there who couldn't give a shit and would be very grateful for the kind gesture 😁

Original poster

Havingablast · 27/12/2023 15:52

Thanks everyone for your support. I did try to cancel the gifts but have been informed they can't be cancelled (though of course I can send them back for refunds). But on the basis of your comments, I'll wrap the gifts up and plan a small treasure hunt so the kids can find them.

OP posts:

ThoughtYouKnew · 27/12/2023 15:52

Mumsnetters and their obsession with everything being plastic tat. 😅

IRL, almost everyone I know with children loves and appreciates them getting gifts, they’re not plastic tat to the children. The only people I know that go on about plastic tat irl are very mean with their children.

Buy the gifts!

x2boys · 27/12/2023 15:53

Mums net isn't representative of the real-world
Most people is would. Be delighted at your thoughtful gifts in real.life
Whereas on mumsnet they would spend 40 pages arguing. Over it.

CalistoNoSolo · 27/12/2023 15:53

There are people on MN who seem to exist only to spread misery. Give the gifts, ignore the doom mongers.

PonyPatter44 · 27/12/2023 15:55

Will your presents make the children happy? The answer is inevitably yes, so just give the presents!

Bearbookagainandagain · 27/12/2023 16:13

Whenever I've had an issue it's never been for 1 small present at Christmas (plastic or not).

The problem is (a real life example) receiving a box of 30 noisy plastic dinosaurs on a random Sunday visit, or another favourite of mine: the bag of old clothes "selected by the children" that are 4 sizes too big 😅

Elephantino · 27/12/2023 16:16

Another one saying give the gifts. I couldn't believe some of the stuff I read on the other thread

stayathomer · 27/12/2023 16:25

Unwanted tat is only unwanted tat if the kids don’t play with it!Some of the favourite and still played with later toys here are ones that we only found through someone giving them a present. The only thing I ever take issue with are age inappropriate gifts (eg computer games for 18+)

stayathomer · 27/12/2023 16:27

Oh and love the treasure hunt idea!!

LauderSyme · 27/12/2023 17:04

Goodness I'm glad you agree, yes you must wrap and give the gifts! How wonderful to think of preparing a treasure hunt too!

The dc will be delighted, and if I was their parent I would be so pleased and touched with all the thought and effort you had devoted to making my child happy.

Don't let one or two or more mumsnet grinches ever steal Christmas. Many of us have hearts in the right place 💖 😇😋

[Not that those despairing over plastic tat are always simply mean and wrong. Children's toy shops are immoderately crammed with the stuff, and rented properties and new builds are very often far from spacious].

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