To feel bad about not buying husband a Christmas present?

[fanniaa]

DH and I agreed that we wouldn’t do Christmas presents this year. We’d buy something for the house and get some tickets to a show.

I was so hectic in work I didn’t get around to buying even a card. I know! I even worked Christmas eve.

Then Christmas morning comes and he’s bought me a large box of our favourite chocolates and some wine I like. Maybe spent £50. And I got him nothing at all!

I felt bad!

The agreement was no gifts. He has bought essentially a nice treat that you and he can share.

This!

If anyone should feel bad, it's your dp for not sticking to the agreement. No presents should mean no presents, otherwise the person who sticks to the plan end up feeling awkward.

DP and I haven't bought each other Christmas presents for years. This year, we decided not to do cards either because he's never been bothered about cards and I've gone off them.

He double checked about the cards on Christmas Eve to make sure that he didn't end up in your situation.

If your dh wanted to get you something, he should have either let you know in advance or called it a family present ie something for you both to share.

We said ‘no presents’ too, but he got me the usual ‘extra’ chocolates anyway. I got him nothing - our ‘joint present’ was a big shop just for the food bank.

I really don’t think he’s bothered though - there’s nothing he really wants or needs (if there is he usually just buys it) plus we always share chocs anyway, and in fact there are a few more chocolatey presents.
I did do the usual stocking for him, though.

I agree with @SecondUsername4me , it’s a treat for both of you.

We didn't do gifts. He got a daughter on Christmas eve so that was enough 🥰

Spend your money helping people and animals who will appreciate your generosity.
A bale of hay for an animal sanctuary or a trolly of food for the local food bank.
You will feel good about making those gifts .
Tell your ungrateful family you donated xyz on their behalf

Are you on the right thread?

It's your DH who went against the agreement not you.

He bought a nice treat for both of you. That's lovely and thoughtful. Feel good and pleased, not bad!

Surely you share the chocolates and wine, so it will be all fine?

Congratulations to you both. What more could he want

Don't feel bad OP. Is he making you feel guilty? He should have framed the chocs and wine as a little indulgence for the two of you. Next year try to nail the agreement more firmly with him. I'm a widow now but DH and I stopped buying each other presents many years ago and we'd go out for a slap up meal for example instead - finances permitting.

We do a stocking with bits in. It's dh's birthday this week also.. Haven't had chance get out as on crutches.. Have promised his some cheeky iou's instead... When my ankle is healed!

Thank you 😊

You said he bought a box of "our favourite chocolates" so he must have meant for them to be shared then? And you'd share the wine too wouldn't you? Sounds like a joint gift to me!