Grandparent problems

[User0311]

We have 3 children all primary school age. My parents see our children often and have insisted on us spending Christmas Day and boxing day with them. They love our children and want to see them all the time which they do, but they do not interact with them, don't engage in playing, they just want to watch them from the sofa with a brew. Aibu to be annoyed by this?

It's very strange behaviour!

Can you talk to them about this? Were they so hands-off as parents?

Two days of being 'watched' is way too much. Stop letting them call the shots on how much time they get to spend with your children. Especially if they won't change their lazy ways!!

How old are your parents?

They are 64 and 65 both healthy and have an active social life.

Also to add they love to take plenty of photos of the children too to post 🤦🏽‍♀️ they look like the most doting grandparents online, I'm not doubting they love them they really do but they don't know what to do with them so it seems

Talk to them. Tell them what you've observed and ask them if they can make an effort to interact them. And be more protec of your family time, don't let them monopolise it

Do they chat with the children and take an interest in them outside of playing? Some people are really bad at "playing" (I'm one of them!) but that's not the only way to interact. Would they do a jigsaw or play a boardgame?

It’s weird but everyone is different.

My mil is a BIT like this but the difference is she wants to engage (I think) just seems utterly clueless as to how to… she acts like she’s never met a child. Even my inobservant husband was shocked 😂
so i encourage/facilitate it and once’s she’s going she is okay.
examples are:

• board games it’s structured interaction
• Simple children’s parlor games
• narrating activities (tea time with teddy, looking after the “baby doll”)

“granny will help feed the baby…what happens after?” (telling granny indirect what to do… DD then carries on play)

I couldn’t handle 2 days of being an observed zoo animal 😂 and especially if they are just causing you extra work
I’d cut down the time they are invited for.

This is exactly what my parents are like.

My kids are a photo opportunity but they don't know anything about them. They don't come to their shows or interact with them. My parents are a few years younger than yours.

They had a lot of help. My siblings and I were overnight with grandparents x3 a week and watched other times too.