To be half anguished, half annoyed

[CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau]

Ive been in hospital for three nights now on a general ward and on the first two nights probably got three hours of sleep in total. Tonight a dying patient (totally jaundiced, can barely breathe) has joined us and has been screaming all night, alternating with “ow”, “help” and “I can’t breathe” I’m not joking every single breath for hours and hours. Some of the other patients are older and managing some sleep but I can’t even block her out with earplugs. I can’t bear listening to someone in agony - she is on the top dose of morphine - and I’m also getting increasingly stressed for myself because I’m not very well and need to get out and cope with an absolutely hectic family life. There are no side rooms available although you’d think someone could be swapped out. I don’t even know what my AIBU question is but maybe it’s about the exasperation part? I’ve seen people die of cancer but never like this, and I also would have thought there would be provision to swap someone out from a side room for her to die with a bit of dignity. Maybe also because this gives me a lot more sympathy with mercy killers just wanting to end this kind of agony. Bracing myself here.

That’s terrible. There are ways to help someone breathe.

It really is terrible. Sounds like the staff perhaps just aren't managing the pain control very well and there are other things that can be given to relax the breathing and sedate her. Does she have any family to advocate for her ?

That is horrendous. They have to do something, surely!!

That poor women. Your post has made me feel so sad, I'd be absolutely devastated if one of my relations died suffering in such a way. The thought of her laying there upset and panicking and in agony is horrific.

If the patient is in advanced liver disease her liver cannot process the pain Rx like a healthy person (the liver is the clearinghouse of the body) it gets processed far more slowly if at all. Unfortunately I've seen it many times in my career.

@Babyroobs Yes they certainly can try other Rx but they may be limited

Yes I get that the liver will be processing things differently but I worked in a hospice for 15 years and there weren't many people that we couldn't mange a reasonably peaceful end for. I appreciate some cases of complex pain are more difficult to mange though. Sounds like this poor lady needs some specialist palliative care input.

Thanks for your responses, everyone. Yes, she was dying of advanced liver failure and I think hospitals have strict pain guidelines. The hospital’s main fault I think was not putting her in a side room because yesterday her father learned she was very close to dying on an open ward and burst into loud tears. Absolutely heartbreaking and no privacy for either of them. I think she should definitely have been in a hospice.

That's absolutely awful. The poor family.

That's just awful and so upsetting. The poor family.

This is awful for everyone involved. ☹️

Last time I was in hospital (emergency admission, anaphylaxis) there was a woman who was on suicide watch opposite and the nurse assigned to her and she were chatting endlessly in the night so eventually after multiple complaints from other patients, the charge nurse had to go and ask them both to be quiet. It was mad, along with a machine that beeped every time the next bed’s patient’s heartbeat slowed. It’s inevitable, but whilst you’re being looked after, others impact on you despite the best possible care (which I got, as did everyone else on my ward). Hope you’re able to go home soon, OP!

I’m a regular and find the IV’s beeping when you bend an elbow the most annoying as do other ward residents. My veins are now so shot I get cannulae in my hands and feet but I learned how to shut the machine up early on and teach everyone else too if they want.

How sad. Side rooms are at a premium. My daughter who is a junior doctor has to work very hard to get one for someone who is dying as the infectious need them.

Better palliative care is part of the answer but everyone goes to hospital to be fixed and that's the family's expectations. Doctors are so busy and these discussions take some time so are often left too late.

This is awful, my DF has been in and out of hospital for over a year and unfortunately this is a regular occurrence! I find it so difficult to visit him when there's clearly dying people on the ward so I can't imagine what it must be like staying in. Maybe the family can't afford a hospice or elsewhere for the patient to have some peace and support - really sad 😞

I was annoyed by the lack of good provision and privacy for her. As always now you’re following me from thread to thread, I may not have posted with the perfect words you wanted. She was clearly in agony and the staff just didn’t have enough time or resources to devote to her or give her privacy. It was agonising to listen to hour after hour, terrifying and as I was actually admitted for a massive potassium deficiency resulting from anorexia and involuntary vomiting (happy to be honest I’ve had alcohol problems too) I couldn’t move from my bed or do anything to help - I don’t know what I would be able to do.
I’m not sure what I’ve done to offend you today but you’re going to town.

What on earth has this got to do with Op's awful hospital experience?

Perhaps you should take your own advice about being kind and just not post on a thread where Op is obviously vulnerable just to try and get one over on her.

Because it wasn't mentioned on the other thread, so it doesn't make sense to me. I have been very kind to this poster over several months but the inconsistencies pointed out to me by other posters seem to contradict a few posts.

It is hectic because they are abusing me. I phrased or rather grammar-used poorly by not differentiating clearly between the fact that I really wished the poor dying lady could have had a side ward (also heard her telling her own father she was dying at which point he burst into tears in public, a horrible thing that was awful for them both to go through and really bad to hear) and the fact that I was getting increasingly stressed because I’m too tense to sleep properly at home. There ought to have been a line break. I don’t know what I’ve done to upset you but can you PLEASE stop now.

@binkie163 what’s your problem?

Nothing in OPs post suggest she is complaining about the inconvenience of a lady who is in pain. OP sounds like she is horrified by the distress for the woman and her family.

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau you haven't upset me. As a solicitor you have a good command of grammar. I am just surprised to have been signposted to several posts that are at odds with your posts on the thread I know you from.

Who is signposting you? Who even has time? Apart from me and I’m long-term sick and even I am not wasting time chasing people around mumsnet. No person in the whole history of humanity, including God himself, has ever been entirely consistent and it’s natural to show different facets of yourself on threads dealing with different subjects. It upset me hearing a woman in pain, who I couldn’t help, dying in a public ward and hearing her father weep when she told him he was dying and knowing there just weren’t enough staff to help her. Can we at least settle this one and return to the four other threads you’re trying to “expose” me on?

It would indeed upset me to see that poor woman suffering but consider it settled.

If you think Op is a troll let Mumsnet know.