At what point do you think life will get practically easier with dc in this context?

[bischitpah]

Ds is 15 months. I’m a single parent and he spends a day a week with his dad. Ex refuses to have him any longer. I use this time to keep on top of the house and food shop or see a friend. But I’m exhausted. I find everyday hard with him. I do work and that is a bit of a break but it’s more the whole packing up so much stuff to go anywhere. The changing nappies. The need for a a nap at some point. Im quite relaxed and I do just get on with it but I really really am sick of doing all the stuff. He gets annoyed as obviously he can’t talk and so that side of things is hard too. When did you feel like things were practically easier?

Well all the things you're finding difficult are things that will pass which is good. I think the challenges change but realistically within the next 1-2 years he will probably be talking, toilet trained & communication will be easier. I find it remarkable how much 'stuff' you need for a small child. My DD is 10 now & I'm still checking stuff for her! School stuff, packed lunches, dance stuff, dinners for dance nights, gym shoes on certain days, gym clothes on certain days. You sound like you're burnt out which is fair enough if you're not having a break overnight and no other back up. Can you clean when DS is in bed & order the food shop to be delivered? That's then 2 things off your list for your 'free day'.

@Ohforfox thanks! Yeah I could clean in the evenings instead. I’m just so bloody over it all! I know that sounds awful and I do love ds and time with him. I’m just at a low ebb I think. Ex doesn’t help. I want him to see ds as I know ds enjoys it but he’s no actual help and I still have to organise ds for the day out they have. I know I could force ex to do that but then I would still have to check (he is hopeless) so it’s easier I just do it and send them on their way. I feel like I live non stop doing things, all the time. I barely have chance to think.

I know you shouldn't have to, but could you have a bag ready to go for your ex, that you prepare the night after your son comes back from his visit, so that when it's time for the next visit you just have to put his coat on and pick up the bag?

Online shopping's a really good idea, especially if you can do this at work when things are quiet (depending on your job, obviously).

I found that once my children were out of nappies, everything changed. It coincided with their language developing and things started to get a lot easier. Toddler tantrums were frustrating but I had to learn tricks to avoid them. My daughter's were always because she was tired and my son's were because he was hungry. Things will get better, don't worry!

I was on my own with DD at that age too & worked, I agree that work was a break for me. What I found helped was being really organised, everything packed the night before, meals for work days made & in fridge, I always kept 6 nappies in her bag so would replace them for the next day. Re sending him with his dad & making sure everything was sorted, I would just have a spare bag & again keep it stocked so it's just a case of throwing some things in when he gets back - you shouldn't have to but it makes your life easier. Does DS sleep well? My DD went down at 7pm so I gave myself an hour to get everything done & then I had a couple of hours to chill.

I’m not a toddler person. 15 months is a hard age, and I’ll be honest I found age 2 worse still. I found it much easier from about 3. They were out of nappies, no more naps, reliably sleeping through, eating regular food and very rarely needed the pushchair. They were getting better at emotional regulation, using their words, following instructions and behaving appropriately in public. I could turn my back on them for thirty seconds (in our safe and proofed home obviously) or go to the loo without them and they’d be fine.

I took my eldest on an overnight trip at 4.5, I packed him a set of pjs, clean pants and socks, a toothbrush and toothpaste and a handful of small plastic dinosaurs and he carried it all in his own little rucksack. That’s when it all started to feel “easy”.