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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did you meet the right person in the end? I’ve been looking my entire life!

39 replies

sciaso · 26/12/2023 19:50

I’m 38 and have one dc (3). I thought my ex was the right one, I was so very very happy. It didn’t work out. I don’t intend to date for a while (we’ve only been separated 18 months).

But I would love to meet the right person for me. It’s not like I have neglected other parts of my life in my search for someone. I do have my own life. I’ve got a career and friends and family. I have a nice home. I have interests. But honestly I have always wanted to share my life with someone and it just hasn’t happened for me. I don’t know why, probably just luck. I’m no different to anyone who has met someone, I’m reasonably attractive and just want standard things in life.

I guess having dc now will mean it’s even harder to meet anyone. I’m so sad about it and feel a bit like it’s time to give up. Did you meet the right person in the end?

OP posts:
BCBird · 26/12/2023 19:52

I 54 and haven't met him.yet. Who knows? I don't blame u having some time away from dating. Good luck OP

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 26/12/2023 19:52

I did. I was older than you, and had a DD. As you get older, I think most people are probs going to have DC, and understand the parenting responsibility thing. Don't give up hope!

Hoglet70 · 26/12/2023 19:53

I did. First husband was a dick. Have had this one for 15 years. Who knows, he might run off with a 20 year old floozy one day but for now I am still thinking he is Mr Right.

Original poster
sciaso · 26/12/2023 19:55

Where did you meet them? Was it easy and nice? I feel drained by the idea of putting my hope into anything again.

OP posts:
Hoglet70 · 26/12/2023 19:57

We met walking our dogs so yep, pretty painless and also unexpected.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/12/2023 19:57

What happened with your ex?

I suppose we all think we've met the one at one point. I met DH at 29/36 and so far so good lol but you never can tell. Our kids are 8, 4, 4. It's early days really, 12 yeRs

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 26/12/2023 19:57

OLD. Didn't work with any men at all, too old for trailing round pubs! It was a pita at times, and I had breaks from it, and weeded blokes out fairly ruthlessly. TBF a lot of them weeded themselves out.

Ladylacklustre · 26/12/2023 20:01

I thought I had, twice. First with ex h, we were together about 12 years with 2 dc. After we split I was single for a few years, then met someone else who was a much better match for me. That lasted 6 years but he cheated and left me earlier this year. I am heartbroken as I really thought I had met ‘the one’ with him.

now I realise that I ignored red flags with both of them, albeit different ones. I’m in my late forties now and not planning to date again any time soon, although I would love to think there will be someone else one day.

Glassflour · 26/12/2023 20:02

Yep. I got rid of a horrible narcissist abusive ex who at one point I thought was the love of my life until I met my now husband. The way I feel about him is a trillion times more than I ever felt for ex to the point where I doubt I ever actually loved him. He’s my person and my world and I thank the heavens every day that he’s mine

InAMess2023 · 26/12/2023 20:04

38... still single, no kids (thankfully I don't want them as I have physical health issues that could make it very difficult). 3 long term relationships... one grew apart, one was a nasty violent bastard and the other a prolific cheat. I'm ready. I've been ready for a long time. But no luck! Tried all the dating apps and very rarely find someone I like the look of!

So I'd also appreciate any tips!

VeryGoodVeryNice · 26/12/2023 20:05

Yes! My relationship history was a disaster, and I had well and truly given up, completely jaded by online dating nightmares. I was 39 and at my local pub where I met someone who lived far away but was working/living in my town temporarily. Not going to lie, I was pretty drunk and just shagged him because I was pissed, I didn’t even massively fancy him. But then he found me on fb and we met up and spent the next few weeks seeing each other as much as we could, before he left. Within about a week of knowing him, I knew without any shadow of a doubt he was my person, and I’d never felt that way before. On paper we don’t work at all, but in real life it just does. 3.5 years on and we’ve never had a single argument, he cracks me up, and I love him more and more every day. I thought the problem was me and i just wasn’t cut out for a relationship but turns out there’s someone out there for everyone!

dulydone · 26/12/2023 20:05

Not me yet but I have a friend who was married in to her late 40s then divorced. A few years later and with grown up children she met the loveliest man. IMO they have both gone through life and experienced hard times in relationships and are now more mellow grounded people as a result. They met in a gym car park of all places. I think it can happen and probably when you least expect it and are truly content without it - then you won't compromise!

VeryGoodVeryNice · 26/12/2023 20:09

Also to add to that my local pub is the last place you’d expect to meet someone…I live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone, and I certainly wasn’t expecting that. I think the planets aligned there!

HerrenaHarridan · 26/12/2023 20:09

Yes, I met him when he had 3 young children with someone else.
I walked away despite knowing I had met the man I wanted to have kids with.
I ran into him by chance when the youngest was 17 and the relationship long gone and we have been together ever since.

newtimesagain · 26/12/2023 20:40

im 37 and yes i did find the one YES i did she was looking back at me from the mirror we are perfect together
me myself and i.
Been single for many years now and love it.
I like to think that there is someone for every one we are all someones perfect match and he will find me no online crap.
But im really happy on my own if i spend the rest of my life on my own it wouldent bother me one bit.

Isseywith3witchycats · 26/12/2023 21:04

Finally met the right one at 56 (ten years ago) after one decent first marriage and a couple of long term frogs who didnt turn into princes when i kissed them

MyLibrarywasdukedomlargeenough · 26/12/2023 21:19

My MIL is 82 and still has a school reunion of friends every year, there are six of them left that still attend. I have a friend who I met on the first day of primary school and have known for 50 years plus others I have known for close to 40 years.

We were saying only today how when we look back at the women we have known virtually all our lives it’s very surprising how stuff turns out. There is no real way of knowing, all you can do is enjoy as many things as possible and take as many opportunities as possible. You have at least had a child, amongst my peer group about 25% have never had a child and only one of them actually did not want children. I will say you need to get out and about a lot but with a toddler that’s difficult.

What do you actually like? What can you talk about. I know quite a lot about the American Civil War and military tactics and also spent years researching social policy. I mean I have no idea how useful that would be on a dating profile but my DH loves battle strategy games and current affairs. When I suggested we visit Bosworth battlefield he was pleased.

DilemmaDelilah · 26/12/2023 22:12

I was married and divorced twice and in my mid to late 40s when I met mine. We have been together for 17 years and married for 7. He is truly wonderful. Don't give up!

Gemi33 · 01/01/2024 12:58

No, sadly not. Never had much luck with relationships. Turned 40 this year, no partner, no children and spent another NYW alone. I feel like it's not going to happen now.

tuvamoodyson · 01/01/2024 13:01

Yes. We met at work…30+ years and still going strong. Didn’t meet him til I was 32. Kissed a few frogs before that though….

Grumpsy · 01/01/2024 13:04

I met mine at uni - I was 21 - I’m now 35 - we still have a great relationship

Freddyschase554 · 01/01/2024 13:08

Gemi33 · 01/01/2024 12:58

No, sadly not. Never had much luck with relationships. Turned 40 this year, no partner, no children and spent another NYW alone. I feel like it's not going to happen now.

My best friend fell madly in love and married (first time for both of them) aged fifty-two so never say never. They’ve been married now for seven years and are blissfully happy!

anothernamechangeagainsndagain · 01/01/2024 13:13

Yes, met him at 46! Second time for both of us and we just are meant to be - makes you wonder if only... but I have had a good life before so can't dwell too much.

I know someone who met the love of her life at 62 - still loving life 20 years later

Disturbia81 · 01/01/2024 13:13

Hoglet70 · 26/12/2023 19:53

I did. First husband was a dick. Have had this one for 15 years. Who knows, he might run off with a 20 year old floozy one day but for now I am still thinking he is Mr Right.

If you think he's the type to do to that, then surely he's not the right one!?

anothernamechangeagainsndagain · 01/01/2024 13:14

We met old though it turns out I have a mutual old acquaintance with his sister from university days and my dc and his have a mutual friend!

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