If your life changed dramatically and for the better in a short (or long!) space of time, when you never thought it would, please tell me? I need some hope for the new year

[Notmypie]

My life is not what I hoped. It’s good in many ways and I’m not depressed or anything. But there’s things I wish I had in life (not money) that just haven’t happened for me. Life feels very dull. I know I have to make the effort to make changes myself but I think it’s silly to ignore the fact that in life sometimes we all need a bit of luck or a change that happens that means the course of your life changes for the better. Can anyone give me hope?!

Following with interest!

@FuckOffTom ❤️ I am ever hopeful!

Following. Life has been incredibly hard the last two years. I keep trying so hard to improve it. Please share secrets

Won't a load of other people's good fortune stories just make you feel worse?

Not me but a friend. Had her daughter young and it was just the two of them for years. She’d never had a decent relationship. Then when her daughter was 12 she met a new man, whisked off her feet, had 3 more kids v quickly and got married and is now training to be a midwife at 40 after 15 years in retail, she has a full home and is literally bursting with happiness

@DRS1970 no. I’m not depressed. Life is ok. It’s just not what I imagined or hoped and is dull. I want to feel excited about what could happen in life.

@Seedsout love this!!

That sounds amazing

Don’t rely on luck. Or if you do, read ‘The Luck Factor’ ( I think it’s called. I think it’s by Richard Wiseman). It’s research into the behaviours that lead to people having good ‘luck’. Then instigate those behaviours.

You really do have to take control to build the life you want. Don’t hang around hoping that luck, or the Universe, or God or angels or power animals or ancestors or anything else will do it for you.

Hope you can work things out.

Sounds very silly but I started to lift heavy weights. I was unfit, on antidepressants due to some traumatic life events and drinking lots of wine. I signed up for a months trial at a weight lifting gym and have never looked back. I still drink but am off the anti depressants and I'm so strong. Even though my personal/professional life is far from perfect, being strong and pain free is life changing for me. I sleep well, have lost fat and gained muscle. I'm also part of a wonderful new community of female middle aged weightlifters.

@Notmypie - I am currently reading “lessons in chemistry” and there is a bit in it where it’s discussed about someone who had a difficult life going to bed/waking up with the thought that today is a new day, anything can happen.

Ive been struggling with alcohol abuse for years (despite having a wonderful life on paper) and I am making this my new mantra. Seize each day and try to do something positive and life affirming every day. Don’t be passive - make changes!!

A course at the local crystal shop (yes lol!)
A board, some magazines, cut and paste the things that catch your eye.
Explain your board. What does it say about you?

Ten goals that you cannot fail at.
A coaching book with inspirational quotes.

A full moon and the question 'COULD I do these things??'

Done them all now, years ago, and learned that it's not magic, it's balls and hard work.

Not me but my brother. Struggled with mental health problems for decades to the point of self harm, debilitating nervous ticks and panic attacks. Met an amazing woman three years ago who was perfect for him and turned his life around. They got married last year in the most beautiful wedding and I sobbed my way through the whole thing. He just got offered his dream job and his wife is pregnant with their first baby. He sent me a photo of him with her family yesterday and he was just beaming with joy.

Overnight at 33!!

I was in a terribly toxic relationship and we essentially co depended on each other, me in him for income as he paid me rent and him in me for somewhere to live cheap.

One day someone I work with essentially declared their love for me and told me how he wanted us to go in adventures together and how amazing it was how we were both living at the same time when the world has existed for so long before us and will after us.

I never went home. Went straight to mums from work.

I knew in that moment j could live the life of misery I was settling for out of fear of being alone. Even if nothing came of the declaration and it was just madness.

Yet man from work improved my life and 1000 times over instantly. I've felt happy and loved everyday since. We are now married, with a son and own our lovely little home.

Agree with@ancientnames about Richard wiseman- you can become luckier. Saying yes to new/ different things. Taking chances(not dangerous ones) just stepping out of the ordinary.

Eleven years ago I was in a women's refuge having just been discharged from a mental hospital, where I'd been sectioned after a suicide attempt.
I'd tried suicide because a man I thought was my boyfriend had forced me into prostitution, for years, and I had no contact with my family and no money, no real friends, was an addict and alcoholic. When I got away he found me and tried to kill me- the police said it was between him and me, and he got away with it.

Right now I'm sitting with my family, back in touch with my old friends, with my daughter and my dog at my side, and I'm clean and sober, and life is very beautiful. It can always get better. Always.

I started 2020 filled with hope but realistically I lived in squalor, hated how I looked and had few if any meaningful connections.

By the end of 2020, I was living in a beautiful home in a picturesque village with a newborn. Things have got better and better since then. Hang in there. Ime when things change they change very rapidly.

I was thinking back to a previous NYE, when I was in my first marriage. The two people we'd invited over bailed (ill health), and it was just me and the husband. I was miserable. Life was awful, work was awful, marriage was awful, I felt so lonely, and disproportionately devastated that these people didn't come. It was dark times.

Fast forward a few years and life is just great. Work is (different job) great and giving me what I need, marriage (new) is amazing (staying in together on NYE is our idea of a dream evening!), finances are stable and healthy, health is questionable but my attitude to it is transformed and not negatively (much) affecting me. I have friends, I have hobbies and interests, I have a plan.

So it can and does change. I promise ! I think it was a mix of luck, attitude and hard work but it started with small steps. xx

So lovely to read how peoples lives have turned around. Great thread

This thread is amazing! I’m so pleased for everyone. Keep the stories coming!

Love this thread, these stories are just what I need to read right now!

Not me but my very, very best friend.
10 years ago she was single, had been for decades, lived in a pokey rented studio flat and had debts.

Her beloved Mum had died just a few months earlier. She was, by her own admission, lonely, heartbroken and saw no future for herself.
We spent NYE 2013 together at mine and tbf did get a bit drunk and even though we had kind of broached the subject before, she finally told me she was gay. She was 44.

She said she wanted to try and meet someone to have a relationship with, she had never told her mum she was gay.

Long story short, she joined a gay online dating site a few months later. The very first lady she met, similar age, lived in the same county, shared similar interests, they hit it off. Three years later I did a reading at their wedding and now 10 years later they recently bought a house together and have now been accepted as foster parents.

She is a different person, I am so full of joy for her, all because she took that one step in early 2014.

Hello. First of all I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time and I sincerely hope things pick up for you ❤️

I fell in love for the first time in my early twenties with a guy I was on a course with at university. Things were very intense and long story short I was too nervous to have sex with him, because I liked him so much and my gut instinct told me “hold back until you see how he really feels about you”

Well after summer the course resumed and within about 3 weeks he had moved on to a different girl despite me. We saw each other (dates etc) several times a week so it came as a shock. Just like that and right in front of me. I was heartbroken. Ive been through a lot of serious shit but something as “trivial” as that truly devastated me. I had to watch them walking around together and everything. Cried hysterically for a week.

I joined a dating site soon after this happened, met the love of my life and we are married now. I’m sorry if it sounds braggy and rude but honestly at that time I felt like scum. My self esteem didn’t exist. I felt totally unloveable.

My now husband just lit up my life at the worst possible time. He gave me confidence I’d never had. I truly hope you and anyone reading this going through a rough time are able to catch a break ❤️ merry Christmas xxxxxx

This was a decade ago now but I still remember really clearly the week I decided I had had enough of my current career (teaching) and applied for a law course. It was a few years (of debt & worry) before I started working as a lawyer but after that decision so many things just fell into place, and having a job I feel like I am good at has been a life changing joy ever since.

Bumping this thread as I loved it when it started and would love to hear some more from people!