To ask how to feel better after breakup/divorce

[Imtheproblemitsme5]

Been through a horrible horrible divorce. I initiated it after weeks of the silent treatment. Tried couples counselling three times but he wouldn’t budge from his view that everything was my fault. I stayed for the kids for a while, but I couldn’t do it any more in the end. Nearly 2 years on (and about to move to my new place) I can survive day to day, but next year I really want to thrive, but I feel so flat I just don’t know how to get there.

Not really an AIBU (posting for traffic), but AIBU to ask for practical tips on how to thrive in 2024 (and what are those tips!) Thanks!

My ex was very controlling about the weirdest of things so I went completely the other way.

I moved into my new house and decorated with colour, lots of lovely colour. And I had the radio on in the kitchen. And cut flowers. Made the place feel optimistic and sunny, rather than gloomy & oppressive. Flung the windows open on fine days. On cold days I lit the logburner.

I cooked foods I like - fish & salads, veggie soup. Experimented with new recipes rather than the same 10 dishes. I keep a fruit bowl filled with fresh stuff. I'm always ready to welcome visitors.

And I always have a project on the go. Making curtains or gardening. I feel happy and like I'm achieving something rather than suffocated and depressed. 🙂

Thank you. I really like these ideas.

Look after yourself, plenty exercise, fresh air, healthy food and opportunities to socialise with friends

Brighter days ahead

Nurture yourself. For some that's activity - jogging, hobbies, going out etc, for me it was just slowly recuperating and a lot of sleep

Congratulations on getting a new place! Will be so amazing to be able to relax and not have someone trying to make you feel guilty, really hope you enjoy it.

Just remembering each day when I wake up that I’m no longer sharing a house with him puts me in a good mood.

Knowing I can do what I want, when I want and even say what I want is enough for me.

And I’m planning on decorating my next house with a bit of spontaneity. So using the parts of my personality that have had to be hidden or were crushed for so long. Rediscovering who I really am after all these years.

My personal voyage of discovery rather late in the day.

Just not having the TV on was amazing for me. I dont think I watched TV for a year.

Try to consciously notice every time you can do something, however small, because you want to. Buying food you like, not buying food you hate. Stuff like that.