Hi
I have an adult child who is 26.l We have always been close until just before covid where he moved abroad and didn’t want to communicate with me. My Mother has been enjoying taking over my role as a Mother for my son the last few years. She paid for him to come home from travelling and his partner as they didn’t have jobs or money in Jan. Since then they see each other most weeks.
He recently has been between jobs so she has been taking him food shopping and buying the food.
I am a single parent and feel like the two couples together they seem to enjoy better and maybe feel uncomfortable with me being alone. This hasn’t been said it’s just my feelings.
i asked not to be involved in the present exchange yesterday as were all invited to my sons. And asked my Mother if I could arrive after as I was giving money to my son and partner. And gift vouchers ( the reason being I have been away and come back 13 th Dec and have not had a lot of time to gather a lot of gifts.
I discussed with my Mother she said they would say they do the opening of presents in the morning. I arrive midday. However on arrival this had not happened , (to be honest if my Mother wants something her way it’s how it’s to be) so I felt very uncomfortable as they handed out a stocking for the four of them and sat opening them. ( there was a few presents I took for them but not like hundreds like my Mother likes it to be.
I said nothing as would not dream of spoiling the day. Would you have felt comfortable am I being unreasonable as I am ready to move away from this situation as it is emotionally difficult. If they are choosing to be a close nit family with the four of them I would prefer to just move away.
May son was shocked last night when he said oh your not 50 are you I replied yes I’m 51 in a few weeks. As he didn’t acknowledge my 50 th last year. I’m feeling so mentally abused being in this family to be honest.
how would you manage this?
We have my Dad”s 70 this year and their 40 th Wedding Anniversary then the wedding early next year.