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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toaster for Christmas

49 replies

idoactuallyliketoast · 25/12/2023 23:07

My partner of 8 years got me a toaster for Christmas.

Pros: My last toaster broke over a year ago so now I have one again. I don’t have to use the grill to toast stuff anymore. It’s a four-slicer. It’s a nice quality, good-looking one.

Cons: I go through phases of enjoying toast, then not having any for months. I didn’t ask for a toaster and have given no indication that I wished I had one again. It’s a household appliance. It was my only present from him.

I can’t work out how I feel about it. I am currently in one of my ‘I like toast’ phases, and he wanted to make my life easier. That’s quite sweet that he noticed. But… I don’t count household appliances as gifts unless it’s something that was specifically asked for.

An I unreasonable for feeling a bit disappointed?

How would you react to a toaster for Christmas?

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 25/12/2023 23:10

Do you live together?

SausageChopsBellyFlops · 25/12/2023 23:11

If you live together then it's crap.

If you don't then, under the circumstances described, it's quite thoughtful.

Original poster
idoactuallyliketoast · 25/12/2023 23:12

Yes, we live together. Finances are not combined- we each maintain our own accounts and pay into a joint account for rent and bills. I earn more, so we pay roughly 70/30 split.

OP posts:
Choccyoclocky · 25/12/2023 23:15

I got a kettle for my birthday (from my mum) and i wish somebody would buy me the matching toaster because I keep forgetting!

samestyle · 25/12/2023 23:15

Is that the only thing you got? On its own it's a bit rubbish but if you got other things then I'd be happy I didn't have to buy a new toaster.

Doggymummar · 25/12/2023 23:15

I got my oh a wok and he loves it, his other one was rusty. A toaster is a great present especially as you needed one.

Original poster
idoactuallyliketoast · 25/12/2023 23:17

We’re seeing my family tomorrow, so I’ll have a gift from the sibling secret Santa. My parents sent some money.

OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 25/12/2023 23:20

Is he planning to use the toaster himself?

AnotherAdventFridge · 25/12/2023 23:23

I got a new kettle and am so happy. Thank you DSD
BUT
I totally get that as a fairly new couple, it is a shit present. Tis the sort of thing you should have picked up at Argos in July

Frivolous upgrades are great, essential replacements are a bit blah...
Replacing toasters is a bit Happy 14th of July do you fancy a celebration shag territory.

Original poster
idoactuallyliketoast · 25/12/2023 23:24

Hmmm… he might occasionally use it, but not often. He used the old toaster a few times, but has never toasted anything under the grill since the old one broke. It doesn’t feel like he just replaced the toaster because he wants easy toast. 🤣

OP posts:
heartbroken22 · 25/12/2023 23:25

Why don't you buy him a fancy bar of soap for his birthday or Christmas? A nasal hair trimmer? He'll get the hint.

Sophierx89 · 25/12/2023 23:30

I'd be furious, you are not being unreasonable at all! A bleeping toaster!!! The scene from Scrooged comes to mind (if you've seen it you'll get it!) Get yourself out shopping in the sales and treat yourself to something nice!

momsybear · 25/12/2023 23:32

I got towels 😂

OrigamiOwls · 25/12/2023 23:33

I wouldn't be thrilled with a Christmas toaster

Vickim03 · 25/12/2023 23:37

I got a toaster too! Ours is starting to be on its way out so I'm happy... hubby was being picky as to which one so less hassle for me to pick/go buy it. I see it as a practical gift that will last years.
All gifts have some thought behind them. Everyone should be grateful for a gift no matter what it is.

PurplePansy05 · 25/12/2023 23:37

I would have just told him what I wanted if he's not good at buying gifts. I wouldn't say a toaster is a completely thoughtless gift if he saw you use it and enjoy toast and knew the toaster broke, but it's very pragmatic whereas what you wanted is clearly not quite that. FWIW, I know quite a lot of men who wouldn't have thought there was anything wrong with what he bought you. And also, it's a perfectly valid gift in certain circumstances, eg moving in/new kitchen in that year/a renovation etc. We often bought each other more boring & practical gifts then.

NinNinJin · 25/12/2023 23:43

I got mine for my birthday. Love it. I think it is a great present.

ManateeFair · 25/12/2023 23:46

A couple of years ago I bought my boyfriend a Nespresso coffee machine - but I don’t drink coffee at all while he loves it, so he did see it as a nice thing that was just for him. If you are the only one in the house who likes toast, perhaps your partner thought the toaster would be like that for you. (Obviously incorrectly, but I can see the thought process at least!)

However, if he will also be using the toaster it does feel a bit crap.

Overall, it sounds like maybe it was well-meaning but I can totally understand why you’re massively disappointed!

MahShinyShoes · 25/12/2023 23:48

I got a potato ricer.
DH got towels.

I was actually hoping for a toaster. A nice dualit 4-slice.

ManateeFair · 25/12/2023 23:50

Everyone should be grateful for a gift no matter what it is

This is such bollocks. Not all gifts are thoughtful, kind or even well-meaning.

HolidaysandHightimes · 25/12/2023 23:52

Who are you?! What kind of couple goes so long without having toast or needing to toast other stuff like crumpets etc?! Most people I know use their toaster everyday. This is my main takeaway from this thread. And I think a toaster as a present is OK but as your only present is shit! Where is the romance?!

TeaGinandFags · 26/12/2023 00:07

I don't think that there's anything wrong with domestic appliances as gifts IF you ask for them.

Otherwise it's a cheek. Give him a toilet brush for Valentine's.

zeibesaffron · 26/12/2023 00:10

Sorry I am in the minority its a shit gift anything linked to the house - like saucepans, hoovers etc are dreadful presents!

ODFOx · 26/12/2023 00:12

He noticed that you are in a toast phase without a toaster and bought a nice one. If he eats a lot of toast then it's a nice gift aimed at you but really for the house. If he doesn't eat much toast then it's actually quite thoughtful. Just make sure that the matching kettle etc are not gifts.

Copperoliverbear · 26/12/2023 00:14

I also think the financial split is taking the p too, if he lived on his own he'd have to pay 100% of the bills so, he should pay 50/50 I have the word cocklodger keeps coming into my mind.
I know he pays some but it's as little as he can get away with without seeming to be a ponce

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