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Original poster

I hated today

31 replies

Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:14

I didn't enjoy myself. I find it all really overwhelming and my social battery is completely depleted. My family are fairly strained at the best of times and today was tense and I didn't enjoy being in someone else's house all day long but no one else wanted to go for a walk or the pub or anything. I'm so relieved it's over.

OP posts:
ZiggyZowie · 25/12/2023 21:17

Same, except I've got them in my house and can't turf them out.

Telly on all day,nobody really watching it, and nobody offers to help with anything.

Will be glad when it's all over

Original poster
Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:18

I helped loads because my family member who hosted always says she does everything. I just feel sad.

OP posts:
Hipnotised · 25/12/2023 21:19

Next year, stay in your own house and have the Christmas you want.

Life's too short.

ssd · 25/12/2023 21:19

I always wish for extended family to share xmas day with.

Maybe i shouldn't bother.

DeedlessIndeed · 25/12/2023 21:19

Next year can you change things up?

You deserve a nice Christmas! Even if that means being on your own, with a great film and food you love.

Original poster
Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:20

@Hipnotised I'd be alone sadly.

OP posts:
IgnoranceNotOk · 25/12/2023 21:20

Yep - we’ve had the worst year ever for my family (parents and sibling) and I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to see them at all today so majority of the day was rubbish and I took myself off to cry and then my mum did pop in for a bit and we cried in the kitchen.

Really hard and had to put on my Xmas face for the kids and make sure their time was still lovely.

2023 can sod right off. I’m done.

mumsytoon · 25/12/2023 21:20

Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:20

@Hipnotised I'd be alone sadly.

But would that be worse than today?

Original poster
Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:22

@mumsytoon I have done it before when I had covid and it was pretty lonely. The backlash I'd get from a few family members would be a lot to deal with I don't know which would be worse.

OP posts:
MrsMouse03 · 25/12/2023 21:23

Me too!
Just me DH and DS20, lunch was nice but then just watching tv and DS upstairs in his room. My mum is on her own and no other family nearby. Just feels flat and a bit rubbish tbh.

Singleandproud · 25/12/2023 21:23

In my family, once the youngest child stopped believing, we decided on writing a short list on what made Christmas special for each of us, and what our favourite foods were, ditched the bits we weren't fussed about and did simpler versions of the things we liked.
Christmas dinner is just a roast with our favourite bits and not loads of random sides. Christmas tree is a pre decorated pop up one that takes 30 secs to put up etc.

DD is autistic (highly likely my DDad and DBro are also) so having downtime is important.

Christmas should be enjoyable so focus on your favourite bits, if you wanted to go on a walk why didn't you? - just announce you were feeling full and go for a 30 min walk to have some time alone.

Original poster
Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:24

@Singleandproud I didn't because on the family holiday in July I received nasty texts when I went for a walk by myself. It was horrible and made me feel really uncomfortable.

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 25/12/2023 21:28

I’m really sorry you didn’t have a nice day.

However, if your family situation is strained, you don’t like being in someone else’s house all day, and you find that sort of socialising overwhelming, I’m not really sure why you went in the first place. You’re an adult, right? You don’t have to do this stuff if you don’t want to. You deserve to enjoy the day too and if for you that means spending it alone in your own home, or just popping over to family for a couple of hours, or anything else, that is absolutely fine and you should do whatever works for you.

Purplebiscuitwithsprinkles · 25/12/2023 21:30

Hipnotised · 25/12/2023 21:19

Next year, stay in your own house and have the Christmas you want.

Life's too short.

This 100% we have done this and I have LOVED every minute of today for the first time in a very long time.

ManateeFair · 25/12/2023 21:31

Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:24

@Singleandproud I didn't because on the family holiday in July I received nasty texts when I went for a walk by myself. It was horrible and made me feel really uncomfortable.

Can I ask how old you are?

Your family sound utterly suffocating and borderline abusive. Why are you still going on holiday with them? Why are you even still in touch with them? You don’t owe them your company. You need to break away from this; it’s unhealthy and weird and it’s making you unhappy. You don’t have to live in your family’s pockets.

Singleandproud · 25/12/2023 21:34

@Xmasdread22 why go to your family at all if they make you feel like that? Next year fake a case of D&V so you can't possibly go as you wouldn't want to give it to everyone else. Stock up on all your favourite foods from M&S and treat yourself and do exactly what you want with the day

CavalierApproach · 25/12/2023 21:36

Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:24

@Singleandproud I didn't because on the family holiday in July I received nasty texts when I went for a walk by myself. It was horrible and made me feel really uncomfortable.

The thing is, that’s all them being the problem, and nothing to do with you. I mean, it’s ridiculous and inappropriate of them to be like that. There is no way it could be justifiable to send you nasty texts because you took a walk. (Unless there’s some massively significant contextual reframing to that story)

You can’t carry on forever like that, doing things you don’t enjoy purely because you’d be bullied if you stepped out of line.

It’s hard but you’ll need to break free of that dynamic at some point, right? Better sooner than later.

troppibambini6 · 25/12/2023 21:38

Yes me too. I've had people here all day (one still here) my first guests arrived at 7.30 this morning to watch the kids open their presents.
Even though no one was up they decided to bang on the door anyway!

I've prepared breakfast for everyone, one guest is vegan so not so straight forward and then Xmas dinner for ten.

I just want to sit and read my book in silence.

Sirian · 25/12/2023 21:43

Hipnotised · 25/12/2023 21:19

Next year, stay in your own house and have the Christmas you want.

Life's too short.

I wish! My dream would be to have a restful Christmas with just DH and the kids, eat simple food and chill out in front of the tv. But I would never be allowed. Christmas is all about what other people want, not what I want. If I asked for a quiet Christmas at home on our own, DH would be furious and screaming about hurting his mother’s feelings. His mother would go off in a huge strop. My own mother would be quietly disappointed and would probably cry. Aunties and uncles and cousins would be offended.

I envy my Dad, who sees his grandkids for an hour in the morning then has a lovely peaceful day doing whatever he wants and gets delivered a four course meal with all the trimmings. For me the Real Christmas is on the 27th when everyone else fucks off and leaves me alone to eat crisps and watch the telly in peace.

Original poster
Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:44

@Purplebiscuitwithsprinkles I think the key word there is "we". If I had a partner, I'd stay home alone with him on Christmas day.

OP posts:
HappyCamperTent · 25/12/2023 21:45

We have never had xmas with extended family. It’s bliss

mrlistersgelfbride · 25/12/2023 21:52

Yeah it's not been great here.
Mil hasn't seen us for 10 days. She has stayed for nearly 14 hours and shows no sign of leaving.

I got roped into clearing out DDs room to make way for new toys and ended up knee deep in binbags and clutter. Barely sat down all day.
MIL and partner are having naps, sat around on their fat arses eating watching TV and napping. I could throttle the pair of them.

I'm playing with DD who is still up; can't settle as she's so excited with her new toys.
No one gives a flying fuck that I haven't had a good day.
One day I'll be single again 🤞😂

AuntMarch · 25/12/2023 21:53

Xmasdread22 · 25/12/2023 21:20

@Hipnotised I'd be alone sadly.

Why is that worse than being miserable with people?

DatingMum6838 · 25/12/2023 21:56

Yep, same here. I don’t really enjoy Christmas anyway for my own personal reasons. DD is autistic and really struggles in the school holidays and found today really overwhelming (more so than last year which took me by surprise) so loads of shouting and screaming in my mum’s house so we left early and came home. It was honestly the day from hell, I didn’t enjoy a single second of it. Next year I think I’ll book somewhere just for me and my daughter to stay and spend Christmas just the 2 of us.

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 25/12/2023 22:30

Me too. It was wack. Crying a lot at the start. I have been kept afloat by a kind few who have remembered me and bought thoughtful presents 😪

No contact from love of my life since Friday with no explanation and messages left on delivered💔mad. Last Christmas Eve we spent together and messaging on Christmas day. Waiting to here what the explanation for this is....