My parents are significantly better off than DH's parents. I am "very close" to my mum in the sense that we see a lot of each other, I grew up sharing a lot with her, didn't have too many secrets, she's very open with me too etc but she's also very critical of me. I'm from a different culture and being critical is seen as part of closeness in our culture. For example, I might come to hers and she will just say "oh you're looking bigger and bigger each time I see you! Are you not eating healthily?" or one time in pregnancy I ate some eggs that had gone off the day before (didn't notice) and she exclaimed "how can you be that careless?! How will you ever look after a child?" Or "why are you wearing that old thing? Where's the nice Chanel coat I bought you?". Financially she helps with a lot and if we didn't accept her financial help our lifestyles would be very different for me and DC. With her help we can afford private school, I'm a SAHM which I wouldn't be able to otherwise do, travel 5-6 times per year, have a full time housekeeper etc. My mum always puts herself first so if we travel and get a villa she will choose the room that suits herself best rather than ask us what might be best for our DC.
By contrast, ILs don't have a massive house but offered us the master bedroom (ie their own room) so that it's more comfortable for us when we visited - DH is the only child with his own children so far. ILs spent the whole time we stayed spending time with us and playing with our DC. They'd normally go for Xmas day service but said they wouldn't this year because they don't want to miss out on time with us. Whereas when I visit my mum she will see us at mealtimes but quite often goes about her daily business. She will just sit on the sofa reading magazines and if DC wants to climb on she's happy but no way would she get down on the floor and make animal noises the way ILs do.
A further example is my MIL was due to have a friend visit but the timings weren't working with our DC's nap so she told her friend that she can't visit. My mum will live her life how she wants even when we visit - talk loudly on the phone during a nap, if her friends are meant to come they'll come without asking us.
Sorry for the long post. It just makes me sad seeing how ILs have such a lovely atmosphere and give us everything they can even when they have less to give but my mum seems to care about herself more than anything. Or am I just being an ungrateful brat considering how much she helps financially? It's like she will help with funds but just isn't as considerate of me or DC (or DH!) and will prioritise her own interests over ours always.